The Lone Cat
by Horror's Bride
Summary: Shiro Bokuso-chi has never seen a spirit up until the day she died and has always lived a normal life... Well minus the fac that she's has an unnatural ability to be forgotten... and minus the fact that she doesn't know who takes care of her... and minus her upbringing as a whole... and minus not knowing what she is. Well, when she thinks about it, Shiro isn't normal at all...
1. Jete my save your life

**Hi Hi! I'll be writing this story as well as the Naruto Story I've been doing. **

**I'm using the same last name cause I'm not creative**

**I'm sorry about the errors in this!**

**I really hope you all enjoy! **

* * *

**Chapter 1: Jete may save your life**

"Holy shit. My name is Shiro but there's nothing white about me," I speak the revelation to the walls, and my mind takes a moment to access the statement's validity.

It's true

There's nothing white about me at all...

My skin? Black. My hair? Black. The way I dress? Black. My eyes? Bl-... Actually my eyes are green.

My name should have been black!

"Who the hell names a black girl, 'white'?" I frown.

...

..

.

Why did it take me this long to notice this discrepancy? I'm 15!

. . .

. .

.

I rattle my head.

What am I even thinking about right now? I should be planning my routine!

Lowering my leg from the bar, I straighten my posture. Taking a look at myself in the walls of mirror, I sigh, a smile coming to my lips as a sort of passion blossoms in my chest.

Objective: Get dressed- complete!

I walk over to the camera and stereo already set up, and I start them up. Rushing back to my position, I pose.

I feel my heart rise into my skull, and it rattles in my ears with its nervous pulsation. Releasing another long breath, I let my heart slide back down, and it takes its weight with it, making my light head swim in relief and newfound excitement.

I'm ready.

The music starts and I feel the notes dive into me. They burrow into brown flesh and take root, becoming gentle hooks that tug my body along the song. They lift me into their crescendo and lay me down upon their soft tone.

When the it ends, I'm released of my obligations. I get to my feet, and rush over to turn off the camera.

"Hopefully I didn't step out the camera's shot," I mumble, playing the video over to look for any blaring mistakes.

As I watch, I smile wide with every sync between body and music.

"Ohh! I made LOVE to that beat!" I bounce up.

"It came out super good! This shit will look great with a black and white coloring going on, a sort of noir feel to it!" I beam, "AND the black lipstick isn't half bad," bobbing my head in agreement with myself.

Walking towards the door, I step into the rest of my home. I mindlessly walk through the halls towards my 'artistic room'.

_clack!clacK! claCK!CLACK! _

My footsteps slosh around in the empty air.

Quickly, I clean up the video before posting and watching it once more to look for any uploading errors.

"Alright! Time for bed, after all, I have school tomorrow!" a smile erupts on my lips as I head to my room. Opening the door, I take a deep breath of the fresh scent you get when you mix flowers, mint, and fruit. Running to the bed and flinging myself horizontally, landing on the mattress back-first.

"Oh fuck, I didn't shower" I groan to the air as I yank the black duvet up to my cheek. "I'll get up after I've warmed up enough," I promise the walls.

~X~

I jolt awake.

...

What time is it!?

Flinging my hand out, my hand finds the cool glass of the end table, but not the rubbery rectangle of my phone. Sighing, I blindly roam my flesh over the folds of sheets for it, but I come up empty.

...searching

...searching

Search unsuccessful...

Get your ass up, and find the phone...

Inwardly groaning, I take a moment to regret having light canceling curtains in my room. Had I not made such a decision, I would be able to tell what time it might be.

Throwing myself upon ill-prepared legs, I lean over to click on my lamp and look around the bed.

"Oh fuck, I was laying on it," I croak, picking it up and looking at the time. "It's 4:35 in the morning... and I forgot to take a stupid shower..." I place the phone on the table.

Should I take that shower now?

...

Well... at this point my sheets were already dirty, so I might as well go back to bed and shower in the morning, right?

"I'm going back to bed" I announced, damning the room back to darkness as I get back under the covers.

**~X~**

Like most teens in Karakura town, I am tormented everyday between the hours of 8 and 3 at Karakura High.

It was just another normal day.

I button up my white blouse and... I'm sorry, I'm just curious, am I the only one who actually buttons_ down_? Like, I start from the top of the shirt and go down? No?

Well, anyway, I button my shirt and look into my closet. It's getting pretty warm... Maybe I should stop wearing pants? Yeah.. I'll put on my tan shorts instead. And if I'm wearing the shorts then I should wear some taller white socks too.

Maybe the ones that go to my thighs?

Oh! I'll look so cute!

Maybe I'll get a boy's attention today, and he'll be smitten with me! He'll be like "Gosh! You're so cute" ignore the poor man impression I'm doing. And I'll be like "Thank you!"

...

That's probably how the conversation will end.

Because most of my conversations with people are short.

...

Oh hey! First period!

No... That class was boring... That and I can't remember it cause I was daydreaming...

Second period? No... same thing...

Third- no

Fourth-same thing there too...

Oh!

After class, I was walking through the halls and noticed that the names of the top 50 students had been put up.

"I hope I moved up!" I smile, making my way over.

Just as I'm about to reach it, a group of students crowd it, dragging me to a halt. That's Ichigo Kurosaki and his crew... Oh man, I don't want to disturb them. I get a bit closer and try to peer over a set of shoulders, but my tiny height makes every set too tall. Great.

What do I do?

I mean, I suppose there's no real hurry, I can just wait for them to move... I'll just...stand here awkwardly.

Green eyes trail down the back of one of the group, and down to my brown shoes. I think I see a bit of dirt on them; I wonder how that got there. Oh well, I'll clean them later... Then again, this shoe material is a bit tricky to clean, I'll have to look up the proper cleaning supplies so that I wont-

"Speak for yourself," that's Ichigo. For some reason, the phrase beckons my un-tuned ears. I peek up to see him pointing at the 23rd spot. Whoa! He's made it too! Man... A tall, intelligent boy with such vibrant hair that isn't bad looking? That's really attractive...

"Oh, hey there, are we in your way?" I perk again, my eyes refocusing on the set of brown ones now looking back at me. Crap, I'm staring!

Oh wait!

Is he talking to me? My lips part a bit as he steps out of my way, presenting the list to me like its a token of his admiration.

He is! Oh crap... what do I do?!

Maybe moving is a good start...

Taking a couple steps, I bring myself before the board and reach up to start my search at the top slot.

"Darn... He's still first," I whisper, "Oh well...good job Ishida!" I smile. Udyuu is a cool dude, sometimes we sit in silence together, he'll sew and I'll read. We're kind of loners, and loners attract other loners because we like to be alone together. Or I've just made a habit of sitting next to him and he just doesn't notice me. I slide my digit to second place, "There I am!" there's a warm tingle in my heart.

"Whoa, Second place? Way to go Shiro," I jump slightly, turning to see the built frame of Ichigo looking to me, a light admiration in his eyes.

Oh my gosh! A boy actually _did_ talk to me today!

I should wear shorts more often...

My hands come up to cup either side of my embarrassed face, "Oh...thank you," I bow my head slightly. Ugh, I'm so awkward! But Ichigo doesn't notice, however, as he's turned away to catch sight of something else that's far more interesting than me.

Oh... I guess the conversation is over...

I twirl on my toes with a pang in my chest, but I refuse to let it get me down!

"Five...six...seven...eight.." I whisper, gliding through the emptying halls with the sway of my legs. A little subtle practice never hurt anyone.

I dance my way right out of the school and jette my ass through those doors.

Perfect form!

"Yes!" I celebrate, and spend the whole walk home trying to get it right again.

When I do get home, I find that we don't have much homework at all, I finish it with ease!

"Now what to do!" I bound about the room with such wonder, the walls being filled with so much possibility! "I could practice drawing! Or read some more! Or... I don't know!" I squeal.

I rush to my art room, and take up one of my larger sketchbooks and a pencil. Then I sit down and draw... nothing.

. . .

. . .

"I can't think of anything," I verbalize the dilemma after sometime.

. . .

Well, that means I'm doing anatomy studies today.

Standing up, I pack some materials and my sketchbook into my art pouch thingy, I never remember what it's called. I set the materials down and head to my room to change.

. . .

Walking though the halls, I'm without words to speak.

**. . .**

"This is why I speak aloud all the time, the silence is creepy," I tell the house. I change quick and head outside.

Oh! It's such a nice day! It makes my chest all tingly!

So nice!

I make my way around town in search of some sort of model, but it's hard to find one when I can't pull my eyes from the sky. It's just so beautiful. Seriously, if you ever want to look at a gorgeous scene, just look up while you're outside. It's always amazing.

Maybe I'll just draw the sky?

I don't know, I might. I continue thinking about it as I step out into the street and get hit by car.

No, seriously, It barrels around the corner and screams a warning, but my thoughts of my last day distract me and clog my ears. I turn towards it before impact and watch the metal reaper beg itself to postpone my expiration, but it can't.

No one can stop death.

_**BAM!**_

I go flying, the feeling of my head crashing against the concrete acts as my send off into the realm of darkness.

**~X~**

I don't know how long it takes me to wake up, but I do.

_Jingle._

I sit up. Crap... my head is really pounding. But I suppose that's to be expected. At least I don't feel like I got hit by a car...

I creak open my eyes, everything is blurry, no doubt due to my head injury. Oh man...

Blinking rapidly, I shoo the curtain of murk. Much better.

_Jingle._

What the heck is that noise?

I look to the origin and find...a chain...?

What the heck?

Following it, I see it's connected to something near me. Yeah, it's connected to...my chest? My eyes widen. "Wait what?" I ask the metal, hoping it would answer my questions about its existence.

...

Where does it lead?

Following it, I see it's connecting me to... me?

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Put it in park. Then reverse, and take it all the way back ten fucking blocks.

How!?

How am I being connected to me? I mean, when you say it that way it kind of makes sense, but how am I here but over there at the same time? That doesn't make any sense! I can't occupy two spaces at the once! That's not how things work!

Why is there even a _chain_ bolted to my _chest_?

I take hold of the thing.

...Maybe I'm dreaming?

That's it!

I'm in the hospital after being hit! And this chain is a metaphor of life! Haha! I'm so smart sometimes!

So then, by this new logic, if I climb back into my body, I'll wake up and-

_!_

What's that?

It's a sound. I've never heard anything like it and if I tried to spell it out, it would make my brain hurt, but what ever it is, it's above me.

Looking up, I see the blue ocean that I love so much.

But something is **wrong**.

The surface is being breached by black dots, and from them are grotesque creatures with skeletal faces and animalistic forms. They're gross, murky colors like dark grey, green mucus and poisonous purple.

_**!**_

I turn as reality rips open in the space between me and...me. But a white head doesn't come through, instead, a claw plagued hand of shiny black shows itself, and it slams down on top the metal links connected to me. Digging up the ground, it pulls on the silver line, and I feel it beginning to suspend me.

And. It. _Hurts_.

It burns like an acid squirting from my chest, and it runs over me, eating through any communication paths my brain had with my limbs. It attempts to do the same with my arms, but I refuse the damning paralysis, taking hold of the chain with my hands and pulling myself up to lessen the pain.

**"Oh my, my, my."** My body chills to the level of the deep octaves. I open my eyes. When did I close them? The beast has freed his other arm to hold himself up, and his massive cranium to get a good look at me.

My heart stops beneath the scrutiny of the yellow glow he calls an eye.

"**What a cute little soul... and you may or may not know it, but you are going to be quite the main course..."**

What! He was going to what!

"What are you! Who are you? What do you want?!"

**"Oh my... You're obviously new to this... I am what is called a hollow and I originally came here to sneak up on the soul reaper soul that is getting more appetizing by the minute. . . but you seem to be a far more filling food item. . ."**

"F...Food?" My eyes stretch so wide it burns.

**"But first..."**

He squeezes his hand and the sheer force snaps the chain, separating me, but my half is still caught in his grip.

**"There... now that that's out of the way, we can get to dinner..."**

He pinches the silver, lifting it above his head along with me. Fu_ck_. I watch his mouth open wide like he's unhinged his jaw, and he dangles me _right __**over **__**it**_.

"N...no!" I tighten my hold on the chain as he lowers me sluggishly to ramp up my anxiety.

_TH-THUMP!_

_TH-THUMP!_

_TH-_**THUMP!**

I climb higher to slow my decent with nothing more than my pathetic whines of disapproval to protect me.

"H-Help!" I shout out, blinking away salty mist from my sight.

Then it lets go.

And I fall.

. . .

...

..

.

"HIYA!"

"Unf!" I hit the ground pretty hard but let me tell you, I've never been so happy to be in pain. My heart is pounding hard; I wouldn't be surprised if it actually breaks out my chest in a few more attempts.

"Hey, are you alright?" I know that voice...

Turning, I see my suspicions manifested into the form of a savor in black, "Ichigo?" I breathe. Those fierce brown eyes widen at the sight of my flushed features, then they flicker down to my attire.

I look down too.

...

Oh!

He wasn't expecting me to dress like this out of school.

I dress ever so slightly gothic, but I expected people to suspect that because of my half-french braided, half curly hair, but whatever, I really don't give a shit right now.

"You're the girl from class...Shiro," he pronounces, and I would have curled up and blushed at his recollection if I wasn't so hyped on adrenaline.

"Yeah..." I pant.

He aids me to my feet and he is taller than I remember, "What happened?" He narrows his eyes.

"Got hit...by a car" I get out.

Frowning he stops examining my form at the sight of my chest.

The chain.

"Wait," he takes the end of it into his strong hand, "What happened to this?" his brow sinks.

"That-that monster thing, hollow or whatever, it-it snapped it!" I stammer, taking my hand from his to rub my sweaty palms on my black shorts and fishnets. I watch as Ichigo's eyes harden and, with them, a rock in my gut.

"I'm sorry"

What? What was he sorry for?

"What's wrong.. Ichigo?" I look at him.

"Look, when your chain was broken, you died..."

Died. . .

**Died. . .**

"What! No, I'm sitting here talking to you right now, aren't I?!" I snatch my chain out of his filthy little liar hands.

"I can see ghosts, and I'm in spirit form right now!" he explains, "Look, I have a lot of other souls like you who are in trouble and hollow to kill," his cut-throat demeanor then crumbles to a vague awkwardness, "I'm sorry you uh... died, but I have to help you pass over," he flips a sword I hadn't noticed previously to its hilt and jabs it towards me, but I dodge.

"No!" I duck around him.

"Hey! Hold still!" he beckons my submission, but I deny him, gathering my chain into my arms and taking off into a sprint.

"No! Fuck you! I'm not dead!" I inform him.

"Hey wait up!" Hell no! I'm not dead!

_RWWAAAAUUH!_

The hellish roars are before me and as I suspect, the air borne beasts dive around the corner and directly at me.

Crap!

I saute then jete the fuck out of there, bounding on their backs before sliding beneath the last three.

Behind me I hear a blend of battle cries and defeated howls, but I can't let Ichigo catch up to me! Tumbling onto my feet I sprint, sliding around a corner and towards a busier street, my chain excess still jiggling away in my arms.

Oh! A woman!

"Excuse me ma'am! Please help!" I stop before her with a smile, but she doesn't even look up from her phone. She doesn't even stop walking! She just goes right through me!

Right _through_ _me._

"no..." I shake my head viciously, "I'm not dead!" I stumble into another dash, eyes closed. My sight wasn't doing me any good anyway, what with all the tears blocking my view.

"Help! Someone! Please!"

What was happening! A girl is sprinting down a busy street in a clear state of panic asking- no- _begging_ for help, and no one is so much as looking at me?

In my self-inflected blindness I feel the hard pounds of my feet on concrete dwindle to soft thuds on grass.

Finally reopening my eyes, I see a streak of bright blue shoot past my face. It's too fast to follow, but I hear a hollow's swan song just to my right.

Oh man, I really hope that was an ally trying to be all bad ass by narrowly missing me with their projectile.

"Miss Bokuso-chi?" a voice beckons me. Gasp! I know it!

I whip around to find Ishida with some cool looking bow made of blue light. He's confused for a moment as he looks me up and down. Is a black off the shoulder shirt really that weird? I mean, sure, there's a rhinestone skull on it, but really!

"Are you... dead?" he frowns, his eyes pausing on the chain clinging to my chest. I shake my head vigorously.

"NO! I'm not! You can see me! and you're not dead! So I'm not either, right?" I try, clingy desperately to that logic as my last hope.

Ichigo gives an annoyed sighed, "Don't waste your time Udyuu, she's stubborn... I've been trying to get her to pass on for a while now" he states, to which I stick a big fat tongue out at him. His face curls into fed-up rage and he stomps his way towards me. "Why you... what the hell is that?" Ichigo's gaze was fixated on the sky.

What is what? I turn to join the gawking males.

. . .

What the hell _is _that?!

The face of blue above was broke out into black blemishes, but the ugliest one of them all was the one that pops, seeping two puss, white hands. The sight could make any jaw slacken.

"Udyu! Stop it. Stop it now!" I barely see the red head take up Ishida's collar.

"I.. can't. That small amount of bait was never meant to attract this many hollows..." We watch as the rip widens, "Nor was it strong enough to summon something like that..." Udyu adds in a petrified voice.

"What... the..." I can't finish the sentence, it's cut off by the overwhelming beast's first steps into this world. It is nothing more than a ginormous, slender being drapped in a tattered darkness, but it needs not be much else in all its prowess.

Before anyone could comment, Ichigo gathers up his sword and charges for the monster with determination that could be considered stupid. He pounces, but another step from the hell god banishes him from the being's presence.

What are we going to do?

I try to entertain the question, try to come up with solutions to tell the boys or commands to move my body, but I can't. Those yellow white suns in that thing's pointy nose'd mask are beam directly on me, drying up my mind and will like a well and damning me to this creature's mercy. I..I just can't deal with the likeness this beast shares with the grim reaper.

And it has come for me.

It bends it lengthy body like a straw and summons its hand that looks like it can smash the entire town with a swat.

And.

It.

_Reaches for me._

It is not until the limb has forced the sun to forget about me that it all clicks.

"_Move_!"

All at once, we dash for cover but Ichigo reaches for me, and I him. Our hands lapse, but evil sweat on mine pushes him away and curses me to an inevitable end.

**C****r**UnC_H!_**!**

F-Fuck... this weight! I think my bones are... are breaking! U_g__**h**_**! **It sounds like carrots being snapped! That warm stuff, is that blood? Where is it going? It should be _inside __**me**_. What's happening to my energy? It...it's disappearing...

It hurts...

It hurts so much...

**~x~**

Kisuke Urahara separates himself from the world with a fan once he's done giving the bound Rukia his spiel. Placing his eyes back on the fight, he... sees the Menos Grande standing back to its full height?

Wait a minute.

Where is?

Oh, Ichigo and the Quincy are over to the side, had the menos tried to grab the soul reaper? How...

_Drip!_

The Menos' hand is still balled up...

Narrowing his eyes, the shop keeper notices the black hair peering out the top of the fist...and the blood dripping from the bottom.

That...couldn't...be...right.

A Menos needs a filling meal, and the only one around is Ichigo, right?

Unless...

The preexisting smirk becomes genuine.

"Interesting" he tells the air.

He thought he felt another spiritual pressure that was too high to be the quincy's.

The blonde male watches as the beast is vanguished by Ichigo's mighty blow, and it releases its prize in its hurried retreat.

The once captured being falls amongst its red elixir, but Urahara flash-steps to undertake the fallen... girl?

She is not in good shape. Just by looking at her he can tell she might have more broken bones than not.

**one of them is looking at him through a hole it made in her skin.**

Something is clearly puncture because blood is pooling in her mouth, and a few appendages are bending in the wrong places.

How is she not dead already?

She needs immediate care.

It is then he notices the broken chain upon her chest.

It looks fresh...

"hmm... Where's your body...?" just as this thought crosses his mind, Tessa appears with Jinta and Uduru.

"Oh that poor child..." Tessa takes her from Kisuke's arms and makes haste back to the store.

It will take a miracle to save her.


	2. Something Strange this way comes

**I'm just so hyped about this story!**

**Even though it's poorly written! **

**Sorry about that btw ~**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Something strange this way comes**

While Kisuke had finished tending to ichigo and ishida, Jinta and Ururu were tasked with searching for the girl's missing body.

They dashed through the streets of Karakura, but came up empty handed for hours. It was merely on a whim that Ururu passed an alley and saw the limp figure still abandoned on the street. Rushing over, she lifted the corpse onto her deceptive shoulders and made a dash for the shop.

There, Tessai had used techniques that he hadn't in ages. He even had to consult a book to make sure he did them properly. This was necessary to make sure ms. Bokuso-chi survived.

When her body was brought in, it was serviced as well and her soul was left to rest before she can be placed back within it.

Tessai closed the door to Shiro's room and was greeted by Kisuke fanning himself with a contemplative expression. Instead of remarking how it was awfully early for the shop owner to be up, Tessai had a better question.

"Who and what is she?" The fact The tanned man didn't know meant Kisuke wasn't aware she existed until recent.

The misleading grin of the ex-captain didn't change.

"Her name is Shiro Bokuso-chi according to Ichigo, she goes to his school." He moved the fan in front of his face. "As for what she is, I haven't a clue about that yet," he informs; the development is an interesting one. She appeared to be no one special... But the Menos' behavior warranted investigation.

Interesting...

**. . .**

"I'm not dead!" I shoot up, and I regret it.

Pain is everywhere, and I wish that I _was_ dead. Collapsing onto my side further punishes me, and I curl into a protective ball with a sensitive shell. Gosh, it hurts that I'm all tensed up, but it hurts more to try and relax.

"Damn it!" my voice cracks under the pressure of my trembling body, and it seems to get me attention from a party I didn't even know was available.

"Ah, Shiro was it? Seems you're finally up," the voice speaking is male, but I can't bring myself to use my totaled body enough to look at him. "How are you feeling?" he asks.

"I feel like someone set all of my nerves on fire," I answer truthfully.

"Yeah, that's about how I'd expect someone who was nearly crushed to death to feel like," he responds smugly.

"Fuck you!"

"Now now, don't want to scare off the only people helping you, do you?" He continues with that condescending tone. Oh, I just want to rip him to shreds! But the only thing I can do is tremble in my state.

"Miss Bokuso-chi!" another male voice rushes into the room. "Are you alright?" he asks, and while it is the dumbest fucking question I have ever heard, I answer him anyway.

"P-please!" my voice breaks off into a whisper. "It hurts so much," I tell him.

"Understood, I'll get to work right away!" he throws the cover back on me.

I hear the second male say somethings, but I don't catch it. as he completes the phrase, the syllables steal my pain away, and I relax.

"Thank you so much..." I sigh, finally easing into the state of a limp noodle. That was so much better. Bless the man that just helped me.

Now that I'm not being plagued so profoundly by anguish, I feel really sleepy. I must not have slept enough...

That's not a problem at all...

_CLACK!_

It's the sound of wood meeting wood, and it's close.

Opening my eyes, I move only my head to the sound's origin.

It was a cane being slammed onto the floor... Why?

"Sorry to disturb your sleeping," That's the smug guy's voice... I roll my head back to look at him. He's a blonde, I can't say I expected that...

From the shadows of his hat, I see grey eyes looking at me.

...

Then there was silence...

Why isn't he speaking? Didn't he want my attention? "What is it?" I ask, hoping to move this along so that I could go back to bed.

"Well, I was wondering if you could tell me what happened?" he speaks with this permanent smirk.

I raise a brow, "Didn't you see that ginormous black monster! Or hollow or whatever... But it picked me up and _crushed_ _me_" I state, simply.

"Yeah, I saw that, but I guess what I want to know is why?" he snaps open a fan and places it between me and his lips.

I would've shrugged, "I dunno..." I pause... why _did _it go after me?

...

Oh!

"Well, before that traumatic event happened, I was approached by this one hollow. It mentioned that it... wanted to eat me... and that I'd make a better meal than the... soul teacher?" I raise a brow; that last word didn't sound right.

"Soul reaper," the blond male corrects me. "Interesting..." he starts poking me with his cane. I protest with a frequent 'stop it' , but he ignores me. "Tell me, Miss Bokuso-chi, have you seen hollows and souls all your life?" he asks.

"Nope, first time I ever saw them was... today?" I end questionably, uncertain of how long I'd been out.

This makes the poking stop.

"You've never seen a soul or hollow before? Are you sure?" he asks again, and I nod, because I would remember seeing one of those beasts of nightmares if I had.

"Hmm...alright" he steps back, leaving the room, "Well... heal up," he orders and gratitude rolls over me at his departure. Finally, I could sleep!

. . .

Wait a second...

"Hey wait! Where am I? And who are you guys?" the important questions dawn upon me, but I'm too late, as the door slides shut, leaving me to a solitude I don't want.

. . .

I yank my covers over my head, a childish attempt, but I stay under anyway, even when the air gets too hot to breathe, I stay under.

**. . .**

"SHIRO!"

I jolt awake for a second time. Oh geeze, I must have fallen asleep again.

I pull the cover from over my head and fix my gaze to the door, waiting for- _DUH!_\- Ichigo just pops in.

"Are you alright?" the red head inquires, and I open my mouth to respond, only for my tongue to dry up when exposed to Ichigo's basically bare torso.

_"Oh gosh, where is his shirt"_ I pull the duvet over my face again, a distinct warmth bombarding my face.

"Y...yeah..." crap, my timidness was showing again!

"Shiro? What's wrong? Is it starting to hurt again?" he asks, approaching me from the sound of his footsteps.

"N-no," I squeak, squeezing the blanket ever more. "Ichigo... w-where is your shirt?" I hint to him, because apparently he wasn't getting the clue.

"My what? Anyway, what happened back there? Why did the hollow come for you? Have you always seen them before? Or souls?" he asks, sounding exactly like the smug blonde in a hat. But less smug.

I sighed, a little tired of the running around in conversation. "No, I've never seen hollow or souls before. And I don't know why I was targeted," peeking over my comforter, I regard the male. "Anyway, what about you? You were all dressed in a black robe thing with a giant sword. What was with that?" I was proud when I noticed I didn't stumble over my words.

Speaking of words, mine seemed to throw Ichigo for a loop as he sits beside my bed roll on his heels.

"Do you remember Rukia from school?" he narrows those gorgeous brown eyes at me in a sudden stroke of seriousness.

I nod, confused what the short girl with dark hair has to do with anything. "Well, she's actually a being known as a soul reaper; they hunt Hollow and exercise souls, but she gave me her power, so I could save my family, now I have to do the job for her until she gets her powers back," he gives a short spiel.

Another nod from me and I lay back down. In my peripheral Ichigo does a double take, "Well you sure as hell seem pretty accepting of all of this!" he shouts at me. What the heck?! Why did my acceptance upset him, so?

"Yeah," I tag on, and he just seems to steam up more, making me giggle.

"So you have absolutely no idea how this happened?" he asks again.

"If I knew, I'd tell you, because I'm sure the info would stop me from being crushed again," I shudder at the word. I know I keep mentioning the horrendous event to normalize it in my brain, but it's hard when the pain and memories pop up every time I say the word 'crushed'.

"Well... Alright..." Ichigo leads off, apparently not fond of letting the conversation die.

. . .

"So... what happened after I was crushed?" I inquire, pulling the sheets down a little to look at the slightly tanned male.

"Huh? Oh, I um destroyed it with its own attack," he states simply.

What!? I yank the blanket all the way down and lean towards him on my hands. How could he say that without a hint of pride!? "You what!? So easily?! Ichigo! You're so cool!" I pronounce with a large smile.

. . .

. . .

. .

Did Ichigo and I just simultaneously go red?

I snatch my face from his, laying down with my back to him.

Topic, topic, I need a new topic!

"U...uh... So, I really wasn't dead, huh?" I start.

Ichigo seemed to welcome the change enthusiastically, "Yes you are! You're just stubborn!" He barks.

I frown and roll over to face him. "'Are'? But I'm back to normal... right?" I narrow my eyes.

The male seems to calm down into the situation's severity. "Of course not, look, your body is over there, didn't you see it when you woke up?" Ichigo asks, nudging his head behind him. Sitting up, I curve my abdomen around him to a see a second bedroll that, indeed, houses a second me.

What...the?

"So... the chain doesn't mean I'm dead?" I raise a brow.

"Of course it does! You see it there, don't ...you...?" brown eyes enlarge at the sight of my blemish-less chest.

There was no chain in sight.

"Hey, cut it out, where is your chain?" Ichigo speaks in a slight discomfort.

"I'm not playing! See!" I pull down my shirt collar, blushing while doing so when my busty nature shows itself.

"Hat and Clogs!" he jumps up, heading out my room door in flurry of questions.

I look from the door to my body just a few feet away...

How had I not noticed that?

I get on all fours and crawl out the warmth of my covers, sitting besides my motionless self.

Was this really me?

It's so weird seeing myself in flesh, considering I only every see my face through a mirror...

I reach out a hand to touch my brown skinned cheek.

Upon contact, my fingers begin glowing a brilliant white while glimmering particals lift from the surface.

What the heck?!

"Well, what do we have here?" I turn to the door with large eyes of bewilderment. In the threshold is the smug blonde, two children of different genders , and a tall man with a mustache and braids.

"What. . . is happening to me...?" I can hear my trembling in my voice.

"We're not quite sure, but I'm figuring it out," the smirking hatter tips his head down.

"...oh," I drop my head.

_clack. claCK! cLACK!CLACK!_

I can see the noisy sandles standing beside me. "Whatever it is, I'll help you through it, but for now, get some rest," he tells me, and that condescending tone is far more bearable.

"Ok," I crawl over to my bedroll and wiggle under the sheets, perfectly content with having my head where my feet should be and my feet outside the cover.

"Man. What a weirdo!" I'm sure that was the small boy talking. The next thing I hear is slap and a groan of pain.

"Stop being so rude Jinta! And go sweep the shop front with Ururu!" Oh! That was the nice man that helped me!

The children scurry off with a 'yes sir' and there's another long moment of silence.

...

Then a heavier pair of footsteps leave.

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

Then finally, the set of clogs leave.

**~X~**

_Poke. . ._

_Poke. . ._

_. . ._

_**jab!**_

"Youch!" I jolt up, cradling my forehead. I seem to be waking with a jostle quite often lately."What gives!" I turn to whom I suspected was the blonde man.

"Oh! You're up," he says, feigning a surprise that I'm not too happy with.

"Oh! Ya-think! You did just jab me in the forehead with your old man spear!" I huff, looking at the weapon that murdered my dreams. "What time is it?" I ask, when I realize the room is pretty dark.

"Early, I figured if I wanted to test you, you'd want it to be done before school, or do you not mind missing?" he peered an unreadable eye at me.

"A...are we going to find out how to get me back in my body?" I flick my eyes over to the look alike corpse.

"No, I already have a good idea how to do that," he pushes his hat further on his head.

"Really!? How!" I jump up on all fours.

"Now now, We need to figure out what you are first," he boops my nose with the cane's end. Oh man! He had a bad ass skull on the bottom! "Now lets go,"He turns from me, heading out of the room.

"Where are we going?" I get up and scurry after him. When I catch up, he still doesn't respond, instead leads me quietly through the sleeping household. I take the time to look around. They mentioned that this was a shop... I see some candy... is this a candy store? Huh... the hatter doesn't seem like a candy man. I wonder...

"What your step,"

I look forward when he speaks, just in time to feel my foot drop through some trap door.

_fuck!_

I fall fast, the store room snatched away for an artificial day and a sandy ground coming straight for me. I don't scream because my air is stuck at the roof of my mouth, but oh am I frightened!

OH MY GOSH I'M GONNA BUST MY SHIT!

I feel an arm tangle around me, ripping me to a halt so fast I make an 'oof' sound.

Now my descent is slow.

It's the blonde guy, and he's tucked me under his arm, facing straight ahead with an eye on me.

Gah! Why does he have to be so awesome when he's a jerk!

"Can't say I've ever had that happen," his teases, his smirk becoming far more genuine.

"Shuddup!"

Once on the ground, he sets me down I gratefully straighten my clothes."So what are these tests?" I ask. I've already had enough of them and we haven't even start!

"We need to know if your natural abilities have been enhanced at all," he answers, placing his fan between us like earlier.

"Um, ok, how?" I scratch my head.

_!_

_CRASH!_

I only become aware of what's going on when I'm mid cartwheel. What the hell? I complete the sideways handspring and land on my feet.

What just happened!?

When did he get so close! Where did he get a sword? When did _I _move!?

_!_

He's coming at me, viciously, moving so fast that my brain speeds up to follow. He's slicing away at the air I occupy, but I'm vacating even faster. Oh crap, are we moving!? We are! I'm sprinting backwards while he charges! And I don't understand a gosh darn thing. He's going faster and faster, but my body meets him and then some until he plateaus at a pace.

"What is happening!? How are you doing this? How am _I_ doing this!" Someone help! I don't understand!

Then he stops, but my body is a little late getting the memo, and I fall onto my back.

"What the heck?" I gasp. The world seeming so simple a second ago!

"Well, you definitely got faster, "

"Faster? Did you see that? I'm amazing!" I sit up, surprisingly still full of breath. "What next?" I have to admit, I'm a bit exited to see what I can do now!

"Shall, we see about strength?" he waves his fan, and the idea of super strength gets me to smile. "Good, try moving that rock," he points to a bolder.

With a nod, I march over to the earthy dung-bell, and wrap my arms around it. It's about a foot taller than me, and about three times my width, but I'm going to give it a shot anyway.

"Nnn!" I grunt, lifting the rock from the ground. Oh gosh, a lot harder than I thought it'd be! Quickly, I put it back down, careful not to smash my toes."Well?" I huff, placing a hand on the rock for stability.

"You got it a good few six inches off the ground," He states, and I huff. "So you gained strength, just not all that much,"

"Ok... I'm done," I'd rather quit while I'm ahead.

"Alright," he allows, and I take it, even though it sounds like he's ridiculing me for giving up too early. Whatever, he's not the one doing the heavy lifting. Literally! I look around. Man, I'd gotten so turned around during the whole speed test. Where was the exit?

Waving my head, I barely catch sight of the skinny red latter."How do I get in my body again?" I ask, a chill running through me at the word 'body'. It's just creepy to think my body has been dead for so long!

"Just lay into it, it should work," he calls to my retreating back.

. . .

"Just one more thing," He stops me, but I keep my back to him. What was it?

"Your hair is black, right?" he asks and the question stiffens the follicles on my neck. I fling my body around so fast that it throws my hair into my face, and I see it.

"Is it white?" I gasp, combing my fingers through the curls that had gone fuzzy since I forgot to put them up. Oh man, my eyelashes are white too! How did I not notice? When did they change?

Forget thinking about it, I need to know, "When?" I look to the man who seems to have all the answers.

"When I was testing your speed, it slowly started changing,"

That makes sense, his vision did seem glued to my head the entire time, but not my eyes, further up, and now I know it was because of this...

"Who... are you?" I narrow my emerald orbs. How was he doing all this? Moving so fast, figuring me out. just- how?

"I'm kisuke Urahara, owner of the shop," he answers, and I have to admit it's a pretty chill response, but it doesn't quite appease me.

"How do you know so much? Who are you really? Was there something you used to be?" I take a step towards him. I need to know. I'm not sure why, but I do. Maybe its because I want to know if he's experienced this, or if he's one of those creeps that experiments on everything, or if he was just that friggin smart.

"Now now, don't you have to get ready for school?"

My eye twitches, because I do, but I'm just so curious, "Fine... don't tell me," I twirl into a sprint for the latter. I reach it quicker than I expect to and just as I place my foot on the first rung, I have an idea.

"I wonder if I can jump higher?" I ponder secretly, squirming in excitement. taking a step back, tense my legs into a squat before shoving the ground away from me.

I reach out to grab the last thing I can reach and imagine my shock when it's the rim of the trap door.

. . .

I look down at the very much far away ground.

. . .

This was cool and all, but I'm slightly worried.

I climb up before Urahara comes over to the steps.

Now, to get into my body...


	3. Different is Normal

**I know I'm head ass!**

**Let me have this!**

**This is the last chapter I'll post tonight!**

**Please enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 3: Different is normal**

It feels weird, being in school.

I think it's because I no longer feel I belong amongst the normal people.

Sure, I never really belonged anyway, but I was still one of them.

Now I'm not, and part of me worries someone will notice.

But they don't, they all walk past, laughing at inside jokes while tying tigher knots around their friends. I exist just as little as I did yesterday in their worlds.

I was strolling down the hall with the most content smile on my face, daydreaming. A silly way I combat nervousness. Though it was interrupted when I bumped into someone's back.

"Oh! S...sorry," I retreat within myself, my back curving into a socially submissive posture.

"No... it's ok," I crane my neck to allow my one visible eye to peer up into the dark brown locks of Sado.

Oh dear.

Is his height intimidating, or is it just me?

Oh no! I'm staring!

"A. Alright" I drop my gaze to the floor.

. . .

He's still standing there. Though I guess I can't talk, I'm still standing here too.

"Hey... wasn't your hair black a week ago,"

Oh dear, my body just exploded on the inside, filling me with heat. He was so attentive! Noticing such a detail on someone he didn't know.

Wait...

Did he just say a week?!

I've been gone for a week! That smug hatter made it sound like it had only been one day!Then again I guess I should have known... I was nearly crushed to death, and it definitely takes longer than a day to recover from that...

But shouldn't it take more than a week too?

...

Oh! I haven't answered him!

"...Yeah," I respond meekly, not wanting to lie about how it got this way.

"...Looks good,"

Ah! A genuine compliment!

Ok! Pull yourself together Shiro!

"Thanks," I managed, but it was so squeaky, I'm certain he picked up on my idiotic discomfort.

"Hey! Chad!" that was Ichigo, and Sado hums as he turns to face the shorter boy.

"We were about to... hey, is that the Shiro girl? Careful, she may act nice, but she's really stubborn," Ichigo 'whispers' to Sado, clearly making sure I_ heard him_.

"No... she's cool," Sado defends me, and Ichigo double takes.

"Well, we're about to head to the roof for lunch, wanna come with?" The orange haired male looks me dead in the eyes, and the determined browness is just too much!

Was I really just asked to join lunch?

ok.

ok.

Let's not blow it.

"Yeah, sure," I smile _"Fucking nailed it!"_ I wait till the two turn around and start walking to follow.

. . .

Is hanging with people suppose to be so awkwardly silent?

"So chad..." I look up from their backs as Ichigo starts a conversation with the mentioned male. They begin to bounce the words between themselves, and they hog each others attention. It's like they put up this barrier of glass before me, and I panic when it first appears, but quickly calm down to look for cracks to slip into. No luck. The ones I find would take too much force.

So what do I do?

Do I just break it?

But I can't... It's reinforced by quality time and mutual understanding, two forces I have too little experience with to know their weaknesses. So I'm just left, on the outside, looking in. Just following the two friends in silence.

"Shiro, back me up on this! Tell the big guy that orange hair is fine!" Ichigo smiles, and his very voice cracks the glass just enough for me.

Oh no I'm burning again.

"Well... Orange is great," I start, walking up to the new opening and speaking into it. The red head lights up at my agreement, "On a girl," I add with a Cheshire grin, and he is shocked by the betrayal!

"Nice one" Sado tags on and Ichigo is flung into an outrage.

"What! Don't side with her!" he barks in feigned rage.

"I didn't...She sided with me," Sado turns to me, lifting a beefy fist for me to bump. And bump I do! Making a little 'boop' sound.

"That's not the point! And don't fist bump her!"

I giggle at Ichigo, his orange hair suddenly matching perfectly with his flaming personality.

We reach the roof and the two lead me to a group of friends already in a conversation. The barriers around Ichigo and Sado and the group merge together like a bubble.

"Hey guys," Ichigo greets them first.

"Ichigo!" one of the more enthusiastic males leaps for his buddy, but he's dodged with grace.

"Hey, who's that with you? Oh! Is that Shiro? What happened to your hair?" Tatsuki speaks, addressing me towards the end.

Huh... now I'm wondering if everyone noticed the hair thing, but they just decided not to say anything.

"It's white," I respond vaguely.

Ugh, why did I say that? Of course it's white!

"Welcome to the group Shiro!" I turn to Orohime. Aww, she's just as sweet as her orange hair implies!

"Thank you!" I smile, but I feel a little weird. Was I really accepted into the group that easily, Or was it merely a social experiment.

"Yes! Welcome!" I look to Rukia.

. . .

The air fills with an oddness that blossoms from a little know fact.

"Thank you," I nod to her.

"Bout time you joined the group," I look back to Tatsuki who has an approving smile on her face.

"Excuse me?" I tilt my head, slightly confused by the phrase's meaning.

"You just seem like the type that Ichigo would befriend, I was just waiting for it to happen," she grins, and it makes my lips match hers.

How nice!

"Thanks for having me!"

"Ms. Bokuso-chi," I perk up at my summoning. Udyuu? I sway my sight to catch him and he's got bandages on his hands. Oh, what happened?

"Hello, Udyuu!" I give him my best. Wow... he looks like he's seen a ghost...

Did he not think I would survive?

Eh, I could understand that, I kinda felt the same way.

After I'm properly introduced, the conversations start back up, and I can't fit into any of them. I suppose that was to be expected.

I let my head bow, I've noticed that doing so helps someone disappear in plan sight. Even though I'm in stealth mode, I'm still listening. I'm finding out that Orohime has really interesting taste in food, and , judging by the ingredient, I don't think I'm woman enough to give them a shot. And neither is Tatsuki.

Speaking of her, Tatsuki, is super bad ass. I don't know, I guess it's just the protective vibe she exudes when Chizuro goes for Orohime's breasts. Though, can you really blame the girl in glasses? Orohime did have some big meat pillows. They're bigger than mine, and I'm not deprived.

I wonder if the busty teen had back issues, cause it's often I hear girls with larger chest complaining, but I don't have that problem. So was it just me or what?

"Shiro, what are you doing over there?" I jump a little at Tatsuki's question...

Why was I standing so far from them?

Maybe because I felt like I didn't belong.

Yeah, that was probably it.

"Well don't just stand there, come over, if we have to deal with Chizuro, so do you," I feel the soccer player take hold of my shoulders from behind before she pushes me closer to the group.

"Oh, I'm fine where I was," I insist when a weird discomfort begins simmering in my gut, but she's not having it. She continues to wear out my shoe soles and I finally notice that She's pushing me directly into the all too eager embrace of Chizuro herself.

What the?

Was she sacrificing me to save Orohime!?

That little popsicle stick!

Now I really am fighting her, "Really, it's ok!" I reinforce, but there's a devilish grin on the dark haired girl's lips. With one more shove, I fall forward, right into an awaiting chest.

Oh my gosh my face is in her breasts!

I rip away to avoid overstaying my welcome, but according to Chizuro, I haven't stayed long enough.

"Oho~! It's nice to meet you too Shiro!" She takes hold of my cheeks and pulls me closer.

And not my face cheeks.

The sudden recall jerks my face back into her chest, and my arms fling past her, going under hers. She locks me there, squeezing my arms between hers and her side, and she's strong.

I whine as she proceeds to pat songs away on my posterior and gives them occasional squeezes like she's checking their ripeness, all while saying something about how she's noticed my legendary booty a couple times in the hall.

Oh dear.

I get so hot and clammy that I've got to break free, but remember how I said she was strong? Well, she's _really _strong. So much so I'm forced to dive into my newly found prowess to break free.

I curl into myself a couple feet from the girls, hiding my no doubt flush face in my palms. Oh my gosh, why are hormones wired this way! Why does being touched by another girl arouse me when I know I don't swing that way?

UgH! I'm so awkward.

Well, this was certainly a first. I've always noticed Chizuro's antics while walking past in the halls, but I've never really witnessed them, and I've especially never been a part of them!

Maybe if I stand here long enough they wont notice me.

"You went too far Chizuro," Tatsuki playfully chides the other female, and from there, the conversation revs back up.

Gosh, I hope none of the guys saw that...

I'm not upset that it happened, just embarrassed that it happened in public!

...

Where _were_ the guys in all this?

I lift my smothered face and wave my head. Oh, I suppose at some point the males had broken off into their own little group... Lets hope they were too enthralled with each other to notice me failing at human interaction.

At any rate, it seems that all the girls have decided to let me rejoin at my own rate, but I don't see any opening for me to talk through. So I stand on the outside of it all, watching them. I hope I'm not coming off as some creepy shadow...

"Hey are you ok?" I turn to the asker. It's Ichigo.

Is it... normal that he's checking in with me so frequently? Cause it doesn't feel like it. It seems like he's putting in way too much effort for someone he doesn't know at all.

"Yeah," I answer him, turning back to watch the female group. My sweaty hands lock together just below my chest.

"Alright, if you say so," he returns to his group, and mine beckons me as well.

"Come on! You can't join the conversation over there!" Orohime takes hold of one of my clammy hands to reel me back in.

"Alright, here I come," I smile.

The rest of the lunch period is filled with so much smiling and laughter that it makes my cheeks ache.

It was the best pain I've ever felt.

Afterwards we had a few more classes and I was sitting in one right now.

"You bonded with them pretty well," I looked down from my daydreaming to see Ichigo standing before my desk. A quick glance around and I saw that school was over and I somehow missed the rest of it.

Huh, this happens way too often...

I smiled and nodded, "Yeah, thank you for introducing me!"

He doesn't acknowledge my gratitude, instead, he asks me a question, "Do you want to walk home with Rukia and me?" I jerk back at the offer.

Whoa, this friendship thing was moving fast.

"Yeah, sure," I stand, gathering my things.

I follow him till we meet up with Rukia at the classroom door.

"Salutations classmate! Will you be joining us on our venture home?" She exclaims and I nod.

Passing through the halls, I pick up on conversation, it's fine that I'm not paying attention, Rukia and Ichigo are having a pretty good conversation already. I heard some interesting stuff, like a good recipe for tomato sauce I might try tonight, and the fact that some people believe silver and gold should never be together.

_raaaAH!_

My ears perk. We were outside now and it was quiet, till I heard _that_. It was clearly a hollows cry, but it wasn't anywhere near us!

"Hey... did you guys hear that?" I look behind me.

"Hear what?" Ichigo stops and turns to me, a serious expression dawned on his features.

"It... it sounded like a-"

_BEEP BEEP!_

"A hollow!" Rukia finishes for me. "Ichigo!" she slaps on a glove that has the same bad ass skull with blue fire as Urahara's cane and she slaps ichigo forehead, effectively ripping his friggin' soul out his body.

. . .

"Rukia!" Ichigo doesn't seem to happy about having his soul ripped out.

"No time, " she turns to me words in her eyes. But I'm not good at reading looks, so I just guess.

"Take care of his body?" I assume, and when she turns around to continue on with their soul reaper business, I take that as a yes.

I wrap my arms around the lifeless Ichigo, and pick him up. Good thing I got a little strength, cause this would have killed regular me. I pull the body to a tree, and prop it up so it looks like he's resting, then I pull out a book for myself and go to town.

. . .

I'm chilling with a dead body.

. . .

I can see ghosts now

. . .

It's a little hard to concentrate when this is the perfect time for my mind to remind me that this is my life now. I know about these creatures and the secret war. It's just a bit much, you know?

I don't know, maybe I'm tripping.

"Shiro!" I turn to see the two running back to me, I get up to greet them.

"Yo," I nod, smiling.

"Thanks," Ichigo takes hold of his fleshy vessel and phases into it.

"I'll see you guys around," I smile, and Rukia nods in confirmation, but Ichigo narrows his eyes at me.

"Rukia, you go ahead, I'll continue on with Shiro" Ichigo states.

"Ok, Ichigo, but you'd better not try anything!" Rukia takes hold of the male's collar, giving him threat that's probably unnecessary.

"What kind of sadistic pervert to you take me for, of course I wont do anything," now they're holding each others collers with the same outraged expression that makes their eyes look like the fake googly type are pasted on their face.

I can't help it, I giggle.

Well, it started off as a giggle, and I hid it behind my hand, but then these veins pop out the side of their heads and I just lose it!

The two turn to my doubled over form, but I barely noticed in all of my euphoria.

Ok.

ok. hehe. it wasn't that funny.

I straighten my posture before heading off, Ichigo catching up quickly.

I'm still giggling occasionally, the image of the faces still fresh in my mind. How did they even manage that!

Oh gosh!

"You were gone for a week, do you think they'll notice?" Ichigo breaks the semi-silence between us.

Geeze dude, way to make it somber.

"No." I state, but I don't go into detail. No one likes a cry baby after all, right? And if he really wants to know something about me, he'll ask directly instead of beating around the bush...

Right?

"Really? They must not be paying attention," he keeps his gaze hard and straightforward.

"It's hard for someone to pay attention when there's no one there," I reply.

"What happened?"

I shrug, "I have no idea," I answer, "Here I am," I smile at the light colored home.

"Alright, are you sure you don't need anything?" he looks down at me.

Man, I'm so small...

"Yeah, I'm fine," I smile, walking up to the door while pulling out my key. I locked the door behind me and head straight for my bed so I can flop onto it.

. . .

I should really wash these sheets...

Though, today was so... nice!

There was so much laughter! And it wasn't me laughing at my own jokes! I smiled so much that it hurt, and I talked to people, actually talked, for the first time in a while. Is this what being abnormal gets you?

Cause I'll take it every day.

* * *

**Thanks for reading please comment your brain thoughts!~**


	4. Stranger things,and Nicknames

**Hi Hi! I really like this story and plan to finish it! I try to upload on Tuesdays!**

**Please Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 4: Stranger things, and nick names**

"Shiro!" I jump lightly at Orohime's behest.

"It's lunch time! come on!" she coax.

"A...again?" I raise my brows. We'd just hung out yesterday! Did she really want to hang out so quickly?

"Of course! Didn't you have fun yesterday? Let's go!" she takes my hand and pulls me out of my chair.

"Uh... ok" I follow along. And yes, I'm pretty confused.

We get to the roof and everyone's there like last time, and they all turn to greet us.

Not Orohime. Us.

"Oh! Shiro's back!" Rukia starts the greetings, then everyone joins in, though some do seem a bit... forced?

It's really subtle, and it's totally possible that I'm tripping, but some smiles don't reach eyes and some tones have an indifference beneath them. The only reason I'm not dismissing it, is because Ichigo seems to notice too. Not just him, but Uryuu and Sado and Orohime. Their eyes shift when someone's euphoria comes off feigned.

Even those who do it seem to notice.

And they despise their actions. snatching them back in favor of do overs

Tatsuki leads the charge, vigorously shaking the apathy from her tongue with rapid sways of her head. "It's nice to see you again!" and this time, she means it, she doesn't have to, but she does.

She plants the seeds for the other few to grow their plants, and they do, following in her steps, and it makes me crack the largest smile I've ever had. I probably look creepy, cheesing so hard. But the actions just beg me for it.

"It's nice to see you guys too."

**~x~**

This time, when Ichigo and I are closing the gap between his and mine home, I break the silence.

"You should be proud of your friends," I state.

"I am, but why's that?" he responds, not missing a beat. My heart tingles. I asspire to be a friend like those. One that Ichigo can accept any praise without pause to think.

"... You don't mind if I share something with you right? I promise not to ramble, but it's ok if you don't want to hear me," I look around, leaving out as much emotion from the statement as I can so that he doesn't hear something that forces him to listen. I want his choices to be genuine, not morally driven. I'd hate for him to feel as if he has to listen becuase I want him to, and not because he wants to.

"No, go ahead,"

I smile. I know I mentioned I didn't want to be seen as a cry baby, and I still don't, but I really want to give him something. It seems that he's offered me his heart in the form of his friends, and his time, and I want to pay him back. I want to give him a piece of me just as he did. I reach deep inside of me and take hold a portion me, cradling it as I prep to hand it over.

"Well, I've never really had friends, ever. Not even when I was a kid. I did try to make friends, but the same thing would happen. I would talk to them and they'd hang with me for the day, but the very next, it was like they'd forgotten me? It felt like I was just some needy stranger trying to get their attention," I comb my hair out my face. I've been talking for too long, I'll wrap it up. "I just expected the same thing to happen with you guys, and it almost did. But they...fought for me." I drop my gaze, enjoying the rythmatic charge and retreat of my feet.

. . .

We reach my house, and I wave back at the red head before entering.

It's nice to know cool people.

...

I press my back against the closed door and look upon the dark interior of my home with a sort of ancient love. That love seems to be getting dusty as of late...

Hmm... I guess I'll try that tomato sauce recipe I heard the other day.

I treck my way to the kitchen and pull out the ingredients and... How long has this jelly been in here?

I pick up the cool container, twisting it around to find its date.

"Fuck, this is a year old!" I droop, much like an unwatered flower. How had I not notice that!?

"Two points!" I shoot the jar...Then I realize it's glass and I rush over to catch the mother fucker.

I breathe a sigh of relief, placing it more gently into the trash. It's a good thing I got faster, else that would have been disasterous.

...

Maybe I shouldn't have thrown the jelly away. After all, it didn't look bad. And now that I've pulled it back out and opened it, it doesn't smell bad... I dip a digit into the edible gel.

...

It doesn't taste bad...

"I still shouldn't keep it... If anything, I should be worried that it lasted this long," I cap it and dump it. Seriously, what strawberries are they hyping on steroids to get them to last for an entire year, and then some! Heck, for all I know, the company probably puts the experation day on the lid so they can just recap it when ever the date passes.

...

Ok, I might be over thinking this.

Returning to the opened fridge, I pull out the things I need, checking their dates as I retrieve them.

The recipe goes really well, and I feel a little bad for stealing a family secret right from under their nose...

"Well, to be fair, she was sharing it with someone else while being in a public setting, so she wasn't trying very hard," I justify my thievery, but I still feel like a prick, so yeah.

...

I'm going to keep making this.

I make some noodles to go with the sauce and have myself a nice little speghetti night with the tellivision!

Party over here! Whoop! Whoop!

The next day of school is the same as the last, and if you thought I was shocked the second time they wanted to hang out, you should have seen me the third time! And no forced happiness as well.

The oddest thing that occurs that day is at the beginning of gym when me and the girls are getting dressed.

I dropped my shorts and was undoing a couple buttons on my top so I could pull the shirt over my head. It was my little trick for getting redressed quickly later on.

Anyway, the girls were chatting away and I was listening in, without feeling like a creepy for once, when I felt chilly palms cup my bottocks. The sheer freezing nature makes my back arch and a weird little whine errupt from my mouth. My once leisure pace turns into thrashing as I ripped the blouse from on top my head:

"Chizuro!" I cup my face, twisting my abdomen to look at the girl. Why is her smile so content!?

"Oho! The skin is so soft and smooth! and the color makes your cheeks look like balls of chocolate!" the red head boasts.

Oh my gosh, I'm burning up again!

"Chi-Chi," I pause when my stutter sounds like a nickname, and apparently she thinks it is one, because she makes this satisfied squeal. "Please..." I cover my face with my hands, tuning out the looks I'm getting, "If you stop doing this in public, I swear I'll let you go to town if I ever invite you to my house!" I whisper through my fingers, and this makes her squee again before she releases me and goes off into her fantasies.

"Uh-oh, Shi-Shiro just made a deal with the devil," Tatsuki shakes her head, but she's over exaggerating, I like the attention, I just didn't like being so flustered in public!

...

Did she just give me a nickname?

"Shi-Shiro?" I ask, cause I don't want to get my hopes up. Afterall, she could have just stumbled over her words.

"Yeah, cause you stutter so much," she grins for me, and I feel my heart flutter and my cheeks bunch up. "What's wrong, you don't like it?" She tilts her head, and I shake mine in response.

"No, no it's just fine," I bat away any salty murk.

Turning around, I fish in my locker for my P.E. clothes, when I notice people are still looking at me.

"Um, Shiro, what's with that mark on your back?" Orohime asks.

Has anyone ever notice how close her name is to Oreo? Cause it would fit her, she's all sweet and Oro sounds so close!

But what she says shocks me for a second. Thoughts ram into my brain's forefront. What mark? Where was it? What did it look like? Does it have to do with whatever I've become?

Oh wait...

"Oh, are you talking bout that thick, solid black line going down my spine? I dunno, I'm pretty sure I was born with it," I state when I rememeber what's there. It kind of looks like a tactoo, in my opinion. I hadn't looked at or thought about it in a while; I mean, I see no point to, ya know? And it's not like it's always in my sight.

"Yeah, the one that forks at the end?" Tatsuki tags on.

...

"It what?" I frown, fixating my green eyes on her person, and my demeanor changes hers.

"It's solid, but towards the end it forks into two lines," Rukia joins in.

Now I'm frowning deeper.

I twist my neck as much as my body will allow and, despite the odd angle, I can barely make out where the mark does, indeed, split.

...

"That's... not right," I tell the air, and it whispers it to those around me. "For as long as I can remember, it's been soild. No split," I turn back to my locker and pull a white shirt over my head to end the conversation.

"I'll have to ask my doctor about it after school." I step into my blue shorts and then my shoes, "Come on guys! Let's go!"

I jog in place, my little attempt at rallying the troops,

"Hup! Two! Hup! Two" I lift my knees as the girls rush to finish dressing.

"Hang on Shi-Shiro!" Tatsuki smashes her shirt on her head.

"No time for hanging! Only Moving Soldier!" I bark and everyone scurries to complete their uniforms.

"Ready soldiers?"

"Ma'am yes Ma'am!" They salute.

"Then let's move!" I smile spinning on my toes. I lead the march to the track.

"Hup! Two Hup!"

**~x~**

"So it's really changed?" I ask, looking to the ceiling to avoid my embarrassment. Currently, Ichigo, and Urahara are looking at my mark, which means I was holding my shirt up infront of two boys.

Oh man, why did Rukia have to ditch us? I would have felt more comfortable with a girl here!

"What do you think it is means, Hat and clogs?" Ichigo turns to the blonde.

"Careful Ichigo, it could mean nothing, but it's a good thing you came here to show me anyway, Shiro," Urahara fans at himself. At least I think he's fanning himself, I can hear the subtle flick of the instrument.

"Uh-huh," I pull my clothes down, and gratefully so, as I turn around to face them.

"Tell me, Shiro," I focus in on the talking blonde, as his eyes do on me. "You seem to be in pretty good shape, do you exercise often?" he asks, and the topic is like humidity being flung into my face.

Ugh,WHY AM I SO AWKWARD?

"Yes, but not exactly? I do a lot of dancing," I speak slowly, my face and posture were showing enough of my timidness, I don't need my voice to shout it from the roof tops.

"I see, how long have you been dancing?" He pauses his fan before him.

"For a while now, about as long as I can remember? Most likely shorter...So maybe since I was about...8?" I ask the wood work about me, but it gives me no solid answers.

"I see," He snaps the fan shut. "Anyway, it's a good thing you came to see me! Even if the birthmark was nothing, I'd like to see you everyday after school for training. You may be in shape, but we have got to find out what you're becoming, little lady!" He springs to life from the ashes of his more somber self.

Interesting how he does that.

"Ok,"

"Oh! Ichigo! Don't you have hollows to slay, you crazy kid?" Kisuke asks, shoving the teen out of the shop like he's over stayed his welcome three times over. But Ichigo is a fighter.

"What? What are you doing, Hat and clogs!? I.. want to see Shiro's training!" the orange haired male protests, grunting during his struggles. "This isn't fair! You just want Shiro to yourself, you filthy pervert!"

The smug hatter is strong, forcing the tall teen out his shop and closing the door, denying the accusations as he does.

"Now. Let's begin," he turns to me, and the light seems to catch this worrying blood lust in his eyes.

Why does it seem like he just wants to train so he can have a chance to swing sharp objects at me?

I retreat into myself, "Um... You know what? I'm pretty tired from gym... so..." The look on his face tells me my attempt to escape is just as pathetic as I think it is.

Oh dear.

**~x~**

I was FUCKING RIGHT!

For the past thirty minutes I've been sprinting from this lunatic as he swings his pimp cane sword.. thing!

"How is any of this helping!" I scream over his laughter and the crashing of his sword to bolders. Holy shit! If he'd have hit me, I'd be dead!

"What do you mean Shiro?" he sounds so fucking curious, almost like he didn't know that slicing people up would kill them!

"What is wrong with you!? How many people have you killed!" It was clear this guy was a freaking sociopath! Coming at me like I have experience or some shit. "How is all this dodging helping?" I clarify, cause I'd really like to know.

"What do you mean! We're testing your speed." The last part is said like it's some secret.

Oh, I guess that made sense.

...

Wait a minute.

"We already tested my speed! You lying mother fucker!" Crap, I'm beginning to slow down!

Dear, what ever is above, I merely ask that you make it quick.

I hop around to face him, skipping to a stop as a rock rushes up to meet my back.

"That's not a good Idea little Shiro!" he sings to me.

Fuck him all kinds of side ways.

Launching myself off the bolder, I spring forward and tackle the blonde bitch.

...

But he refuses to go down, Digging his sword into the earth to halt our backwards slide.

...

"You... were suppose to fall," disbelief drips from my lips, arms still tight around his middrift, my head rolling back to look up at him.

Did he not know how this tackling thing works?

"But I didn't," He informs me, his voice rumbling through us both as he looks down upon me.

Holy fuck he had some sharp eyes, they cut into me deeper than his sword ever could.

And will, hopefully.

"So... What do I do when the tackle fails?" I blink, loosening my grip just a bit.

"Oh, you run... Preferably very fast, and very soon,"

Oh dear.

I rip away from him, just as he frees Benihime. "CAN'T WE STOP THIS!?" I huff, dashing off. It's a good thing I got him to stop for a bit, I needed that breather...

The answer to my question was no.

No we could not stop this... Unfortunately.

Atleast not for the next TWO HOURS!

When he does finally leave me be, I show my gratitude by flopping onto the ground.

"Well done! You have amazing speed and endurance!" The smug hatter boasts, but I'm not falling for it this time!

"You lying booty hole! We already knew that!" I roll over to glare at him. Now that I'm staring at his smiling face, I'm reminded of another reason I'm upset with him.

"And why didn't you tell me I'd been out for a week! You made it seem like it was just a day!" I huff. I'm trying to yell at him, but it's hard when my lungs have been flattened and are stuck together. Ugh. I also shouldn't be laying down right after running for so long; I'll cramp up.

I stand, stretching, "Why did we really do this, smug hatter?" I look to him.

"It's gotten pretty late, you should head home, Shiro," I pause when his voice shifts to a seriousness I don't think we need right now.

"...Alright," I frown. "Are you ever going to tell me who you are?" I raise a brow at him, in response, he snaps open that fan of his.

"Are you going to tell me who you are, Shiro?"

I frown, "You're suppose to tell me who I am.." I trail off when the wording implies something I didn't mean.

"I can tell you realized your mistake, but I don't think you've realized it fully," He peers at me from beneath that green and white hat. "You're thinking I'm supposed to tell you what you are, not who, but even that isn't true." he glazes over the earthy carnage that was no doubt a side effect of his chasing me.

"I'm not here to tell you what you are, either. You're telling me with your body and abilities, from that, I give you the technical term, and based off that, I _may _train you," He states.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I mumble to the ground. "Well, I guess I'll... head home" It's so weird, the flare of sadness I get at the thought.

I used to love going home...

Either way, I wave to the shop keeper as well as Tesa and Ururu. I kind of waved to Jinta, but he's a turd that ignores my departing gesture.

Then I head back...

On the way, I get a tranquility I used to crave, and notice just how much my world has changed in just a few conscious days.

I wonder if this is permanent...

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a comment! **


	5. As far as she can go

**N/A: Hello! Sorry I missed this past tuesday **

* * *

**Chapter 5: As far as she can go**

"Whoa! You have this whole house to yourself, Shiro!" Oreo boasts, excited as she looks around, dashing through the halls to ogle at all the rooms.

"Yeah, I do, but I um... never expected to have company, so there are no guess rooms," I explain, a tad awkwardly. "So we'll either have to set up something in the living room or uh... sleep in my room," I scratch the back of my head.

"Huh, this place looks smaller on the outside.." Ichigo holds his chin for a contemplative minute.

"...Yeah," That was Sado, he was here too.

"Not bad pallet choices!" And Ishida as well...

All the guys are standing in the foyer with me while I finish locking up the door. When I'm done, I turn back to my home, and suddenly every speck of dirt seems like a fucking mountain in my abode.

Crap, I hadn't cleaned up!

Though to be fair, I hadn't been planning to entertain guests. Seriously, they all just invited themselves at the end of class.

Orohime pranced up to me while I was preparing to leave school and expressed how amazing sleep overs were and how I should throw one since it was the weekend. I'd been off in space, so my agreement was very distance and airy, but she took it.

The little Oreo tried to make it an all girl thing, but all the girls were busy, including Rukia, so then it was just going to be Orohime and I. But as we were leaving, Ichigo walked with us like he usually does, and she wouldn't stop talking about how great it would be, and then she invited Ichigo, who invited Sado, and Ishida just tagged along saying he didn't have anything better to do.

Then we stopped by everyone's house to get them clothes. All except Oreo, who I'm convinced was already planning to do this because she brought a packed bag to school.

And now they're here, and I haven't cleaned.

"Excuse the mess!" I pronounce, dashing about like a hurricane of cleaning products and tools. Up until this point, I had been pretty chill about their arrival and accepting, but now I'm worried I'll look like a slob.

"Oh Shiro! I'll help!" The innocent mastermind bounces over, but I shake my head. I'm a hostess now, and the hostesses should be the one to clean. Right?

"I've got it, Oreo" I rest her nerves. I'm sure I look silly, barely keeping these spray bottles in my arm while the other one flails in its annihilation of all dirt.

"Shiro." My hand is halted in its frantic sways by a strong hold on its wrist.

Oh... It's just Ichigo...

He takes a bottle of bleach from my arm and one of the rags on my shoulders, "Calm down, we'll help, all of us," He smiles down at me, and I can't help but huff.

"Are you trying to get me to say you're amazing again? Cause it's not going to happen," I grin, and it only widens as Ichigo's brow sinks.

"WHY YOU!" he chocks on his rage, "Fine! Next time you need help don't look at me!" He glares, slamming his forehead into mine.

Is that a challenge?

I pull back to return the favor, "Well, I-go-chi! I didn't ask you this time! SO THERE!" I bark back.

"Whatever! WIPE THAT GRIN OFF YOUR FACE!"

**~x~ **

"And done! See! That was so much faster with all of us!" Oreo tosses her damp towel into the dirty-towel-bucket.

"Yeah." I smile, picking up said bucket. I should put all the rags into the washer with the rest. "Ok, thanks for your help, I'll be back. You guys decide if you're going to stay in the living room or head to my room," I leave them to themselves.

The laundry room isn't super far, I dump the bucket contents and set the container down besides the washer. Hmmm... there isn't enough towels to start it yet, I'll just leave it be for now.

I head back to the group and...they're huddled together?

They've enclosed themselves in a circle of their flesh,and they're whispering, but I can hear them perfectly.

"Do we just ask? That seems a bit forward.." That was Oreo.

"Ask me what?" I enter the room on quiet feet, and they nearly jump out of their bodies, literally.

It was pretty funny actually.

"Shiro! Back so soon?" two different people say each part, but I'm not sure who.

"H...hey! Did you know I had a brother?" Orohime starts, stumbling over her cover up.

"No,"

"D-Did you know he died?" She looks to the ground.

Whoa... that was pretty heavy to drop that quickly.

"No,"

"Well, he did.. he died in a car accident.. then he came back as a hollow and nearly...killed me," she trails off, losing her bright eyes in the shadow of her bangs.

"..." I've never experienced grief before. From outside I mean, and I am greatly unprepared. I mean, I always expected that when something like this was to happen, I would be flooded with sympathy, and my brain would swell with the right words to abolish her sadness. That's how it seems to work on TV.

But I'm not.

I feel like I'm standing outside of a closed door, listening to her painstakingly whale in anguish.

I feel uncomfortable.

I also feel bad for making this about me, when it clearly isn't, but I'm just so...confused. Uncertain. I just don't know what to do for her.

I want to walk up to her and tell her it'll be alright, but I think that's stupid. I don't want to pull her back up the mountain she just fell from with lies and promises I can't keep; then she'll just fall back down. I'd rather let her take her time caring for her wounds so she can be strong enough to climb back up herself, and wise enough not to lose her footing again.

So I just stand there, watching her morn for someone I don't know or care about.

It feels so wrong to do so, even with my rationale, but I refuse to give in. To pull her back up.

...

But I have to do _something_. I'm just falling deeper within myself while the others sit around her, calling her name in a sentimentality I do not posses.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Why am I so fucked up? Why am I so wrong? Look at me, I can't even rip away from my own little stupid problems to focus on someone else.

Am-...Am I..wired wrong?

Is this why I can't get along with people?

Is this why I am alone?

If so, if I don't do anything now, will they leave me?

The sheer thought sends me into a panic, and I make my way over to them, dropping to my knees and wrapping my arms around her so tight.

I will not say anything, I will let her find her own words in my embrace.

"We know how you feel, Orohime; I lost my mom to a hollow," Ichigo gains the sympathy I yearn for; it's deep in those brown eyes of his.

"My grandfather..." Ishida sinks below with them.

"..." Sado doesn't speak, but you can feel the hurt in his silence.

They fill the room with emotions, and I drown in them. I sense their craving for a touch long gone from this world. It is the only thing that would appease them, but I can not give them that. But I have to do something before they drown.

"But... there were good times?" I ask, trying to refocus their attention.

It works, the somber countenances of the teens part, giving way to aged smiles.

"Yeah, my mom was the greatest,"

"My grandfather taught me everything I know,"

"Hm.."

"Oh yes! My brother and I had so much fun in the kitchen!"

My sparks catch, igniting embers of old memories and fond times, and fueling these big smiles on their faces.

Crisis averted!

Gosh I feel like I just dodged a natural disaster.

"What about you, Shiro?" Orohime beams her smile at me.

Wait a second.

"Is that what you wanted to ask me? About deceased relatives?" I huff when they all look guilty as charged. "Next time, Just ask! I'll answer just about any question if you just ask," I rub my temples. I mean, I'm glad I got to know them more, but that was unnecessary.

"We're sorry if we made you uncomfortable! We didn't want to be so forward" Oreo tries, but I deny the apology.

"Besides, it's only fair we share if we want you to share," Ishida attacks with logic, and he's right, but I deny him anyway.

Sado doesn't try, and Ichigo is more one-track-minded.

"So?" the red head male drops into his resting bitch face. "What happened to your family?"

I sigh, "I... don't know," I shrug.

"Come on! Don't give us a bull shit answer like that! After all you told us to ask you!" Ichigo launches into one of his comedic stages of anger, but I'm not in the mood, making it hit me a bit harder than it should.

I bat it off.

"No, seriously, I have no Idea," I avert my eyes.

"What do you mean, Shiro? Doesn't someone pay for this house?" Orohime tilts her head, swaying her orange hair to the side.

"Yeah, but I don't know who it is. Look, for as long as I can remember, I've been alone, and that's not an exaggeration," I tag on the last bit. "I know that doesn't make sense, but in one of my earliest memories I...think I remember a silhouetted figure that stuck around the shadows," I shrug, "It...watched me, I think, made sure I didn't get in any trouble, but it also made sure I never got near it." This sounds so stupid out loud. Why was I explaining this? Surely they knew what I was talking about?

"Look, All I know, is that it...they, kept the TV on all the time, and there were always meals in the fridge. Then, when I got to be a certain age, money pops up on that end table," I point the the grey marble topped table against the wall.

"What about.. the house?" Orohime tries again.

I shrug once more, "I've never seen a bill for the place, but the lights stay on and the water stays hot,"

"How did you know your name?" Ishida frowns, understanding my story as little as I do.

"The same way you guys knew. I just knew" I state, "Everyone already knows their name, right?" I get strange looks "Uh... and I guess my tag helped later on" more strange looks. I roll my eyes, they were making this difficult, "You know, the tag!" I pull down my sock to show an elastic band around my ankle with 'Shiro' in a block of silver.

"This has been on me for as long as I can think. And when ever I'd go through the day plagued by how tight it was due to my growth, I'd wake up with a new one, bigger," I explain, and return to their shocked expressions.

"What? don't you guys have one?" I frown, searching their bodies for the name tag.

"No," they all respond, and I my brow sinks even lower. That was weird... I was under the impression everyone had a tag...

Then I shrug; I appear to be doing that a lot tonight. "Just another way I'm weird I guess," I state as a fact.

"Right," Ichigo trails off, noticeably thrown by the new information.

"Any other questions?" I scan the room until I get to Oreo's raised hand, "Yes?"

"How did you get to school when you were little!"

"The...same way you did?" I try, though I seem to be wrong every time I say that. "I followed the basket of sweets," There go those strange looks again! Come on! I knew my upbringing was different, but not _this_ different.

"You're telling me that every child isn't lured to their school by a basket of goodies?" My eyebrows rise when they all shake their heads, "What the fuck is my life?!" I look around.

The world seemed so much simpler a minute ago.

"Ok, ok, but sweets _do_ appear on your pillow every time you get a good grade, right?"

And they shake their heads _again_.

What is happening!?

I plant my face on the black flooring. "I thought the only difference between me and everyone else was that I didn't have parents or friends..." I slurr against the wood.

"So, this means there is someone in Shiro's life who takes care of her... but wont come in contact with her?" Oreo pieces it together, but it's not enough me.

"So what? Should we try to catch this guy? Find out what he knows about her?" Ichigo proposes.

"I highly doubt we'd be able to, This person was able to dodge an unpredictable toddler. How are we supposed to get a hold of them?" Ishida reasons while Sado waits patiently for a solution.

"NO!" I stop them, "Shhhhhhhhhhhh, no more, I refuse to have my childhood ruin further by this conversation," I reject their ideas.

"..." the group silences itself.

"Thank you," I roll over onto my back and stare at the ceiling.

Around me, everyone grabs a pillow from the couches and forms a circle with their heads and mine, joining me in the ceiling-gazing.

"So, Shiro, have you ever built a pillow fort before?" The innocent Oreo quests for a topic.

"Once, it's super fun at first, but then it gets a little lonely,"

"Well hey! We're here now! It'll be super fun!" She springs up before pulling Ichigo to his feet. I get up and aid Ishida's ascent. Then I went to help Sado up.

"Hey, hey" I smile, "Hey Sa-do, why do you look so Sad-doe?" I grin, extending my hand to his large form.

"Heh heh... good one" He takes my hand and slams me down onto his level.

"Oof!" I sigh. I'm all smashed up against his brick-wall of a chest, and if I had romantic interest in him, I'd be so flustered, but he's more of a brother to me. "Thanks Sad-doe," I adjust myself in his lap to be sustaining my form with knees between his legs and my hands on the ground besides his hips.

"I really needed that!" I make a face of squinted eyes and puckered lips. In hindsight, I'm like half his size, and I wasn't prepared to use my inhuman strength.

I look up to his sun-rich skinned face to see his chocolate hair dangling over his content smile.

That butt, he did it on purpose!

"Sorry..." he apologizes, but I'm on to him! He only pretends to be nice! He's actually a trickster!

"Hmph!" I turn up my noes, sitting back on my heels and crossing my arms.

The jolly green giant gets to his feet with a rumbling chuckle before he picks me up under my arms, holding me with my feet a foot above the ground."There... I fixed it," he attempts to mend the broken bonds, but it's too late!

He has betrayed my trust!

"Thank you," I nod to him as he sets me down.

Then we get to work, scavenging all the pillows, sheets, and chairs in the house and setting them up to makes a big ass pillow fort.

"Hey! Ishi-ishi!" I call, and the Quincy turns to me curiously, and I meet him with a big _TH-WAP!_\- pillow to his face.

He stands there, dumbfounded with his glasses hand on the side of his head, and his hair disheveled. He looks like he was just told he was the father!

I laugh at him, curling into my cramping gut from my mischief.

_TH-WACK!_

I slam into the ground, "Holly shit that was a hard comeback, Ishi," I look up, but Ishida is still in a shock.

"Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you so hard Shi-shiro!" I roll onto my back to see Oreo as the rueful culprit.

Damn she could hit hard!

"Please! You'll be sorry you didn't hit harder!" I challenge, taking her feet with a sweep of my feather-filled blade!

_THUD!_

My face go flying into Oreo's stomach by another blow to my head.

Fuck! I hope I'm hitting as hard as I'm getting hit!

"You'll be sorry you messed with Orohime!" Ah! So Ichigo attacked me?

"Oh really!?" I launch the pillow, nailing the soul reaper dead in his head.

"HA!"

_SMASH!_

Did someone just sandwich me between two pillows? Why am I the one getting teamed up against?

_thud!_ "Even though she betrayed me, I cannot allow such a disgraceful pillow beating to continue!" I turn. Sad-doe was the one who smashed me, but Ishida has avenged me!

Aww, now I feel bad for hitting him!

"Don't worry! I wont do it again!"

I pounce to my feet and attack the large one.

I started this war! I'm going to finish it!

**~x~**

I smiled wide. Every foe had been vanquished, and my ally and myself have been slaughtered.

And it sure as hell was worth it!

Around me my close people laugh with such mirth, it leaves me content with life. Sure, all of the pillows are fucked, but we can still make the fort out of chairs and sheets.

I glance over at the carnage that is the blanket fort. The jolly green giant fell on it when Ishida and I double teamed him.

It would probably take me a while to replace those pillows...

That would be a lot of money..

...No

To hell with it. To hell with everything that isn't these four people around me.

**~x~**

"Shiro, tell me, do you know what Bon Obori is?" Urahara asks, summoning up his fan.

Geeze, he sure is fidgety with that thing.

It was the next day, and I was scheduled to have training with the smug hatter; the sleep over was still going on, but I still have my obligations, ya know? So they're stuck at my house.

Hey, I tried to invite Ichigo to my session, but the same thing as last time happened: Urahara shooed him away. I tried asking the hatter why, but then he brought this topic up.

Speaking of which, I still haven't answered him, have I?

"Kind of," I furrow my brow. "I mean, I know it's a more traditional type of dance, but that's about it, why?" I tilt my head. Was he going somewhere with this?

"Here! I'll show you!" he gleefully guides me to a room that is made of the same dark, greenish wood that everything else is in here. In it is just a TV with a tape player and a cushy pillow. "Sit here" he orders

I do as I'm told, curling my feet beneath me as I plop on the soft cushion. Huh... the pillow is actually orange, not red like I thought. It was a little hard to tell in the dim lighting.

He places in the only tape in the room and I really have to wonder if this guy just watches this same tape over and over again.

When it starts playing, I'm shown a group participating in what I believe is the Bon Obori. I don't know. It's graceful, sure, but it's also a little sluggish in pace and a bit repetitive. Though it is still nice. It makes my heart smile, and my face as well.

"I liked it," I tell the shop keeper when the video is over.

"Good! Now let's get down to your training," He beams that silly smile of his.

"Mrow" I jump at the animalistic proclamation. Turning my head, I see a black cat with gold eyes sitting in the window.

"...It's a cat..." I state simply, but it's more than enough to get the hatter excited.

"Yoruichi! You've come back!" He exclaims, like he's just seen a long lost friend. Rushing over, he picks the feline up and expresses his joy to see the little thing in the form of gleeful phrases and childish tones.

"Um... ok," I mumble, looking around. I never took him to be the cat type. It's not like I have a problem with it, I like cats too.

The fondling goes on for so long that my calves begin cramping in this position, and he's _still _going on. Eventually I shift in position...

Then again...

and again.

Ok, this was getting awkward.

For me, of course... Just me. It's always just me...

Eventually I get to my feet. It's been a full 30 minutes now... and he's still going at it with the little fur ball. I guess I'll just leave, I don't want to leave the crew in my house, they may start another war and might destroy more of my shit.

I step over the cat-lover laying in the door way, and make my way for the exit, "I'll come back later," I throw over my shoulder.

"-One of his closest friends," I catch as I pass Tessai and the children. They seem to be gawking at their boss's reaction to the furry friend.

Was Tessai talking about the cat? Like, was the cat Urahara's best friend?

"And I thought I was lonely," I mumble, sliding open the front door and letting myself out.

The rest of the day was fairly mundane.

The crew and I went shopping and Oreo had me make a mandatory purchase of a bunny hoodie that is identical to the one she bought. I wonder if pretty girls like Oreo just naturally migrate to things that make them more attractive because she didn't pick the hoodie that was all fluffy and warm and hid every feature of your upper body. No, she chose the hoodie that had the innocence of thick, over-sized sleeves and the adorableness of a large hood with floppy bunny ears, but... but but but. It also held the sexiness of a tight, form fitting leotard that snaps together between the legs.

Basically it's a trap for men.

At least she let me buy mines in white instead of her pink...

Meanwhile, Ishi-ishi showed us all the wonders of a cheap craft store.

I bought so much material to make stuff.

Like.

So much...

I don't even have any ideas... but I bought the fabric for when I think of a few..

Ishi-ishi pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, staring condescendingly down it at me as I struggled with my bags, "Do you even own a sewing machine?" he snipped.

I turned my nose up and away in disdain, "Not yet, but I will soon."

"Right." he patronized her as he walked by, and as soon as his back was turned, I screwed my face up and mouthed his own snips at his back.

Sad doe has a nack for fashion and showed us all how to rock the look of a mysterious type. Apparently a baggy jacket is all you need outfit wise.. The rest is attitude! I have a picture of us all lounging on a cluster of boulders in the twilight sun. The 'far away gaze' that adorns all our faces is friggin hilarious. Especially on Oreo!

Some would be shocked to find the quiet giant teaching such a lesson, but said giant would be just as surprised, as all he did was be himself and we all just followed him while Ichi-go-go and Oreo analyzed him and determined the source of Sad doe's charm.

Oreo took us to the strangest restaurant that NO ONE could stomach.

"I thought it would be a nice new place for us to all try together." She defends shortly after the strange-looking dishes are placed on the table before the group.

"Well..." I falter, pausing for a moment to hide the gag trying to force itself out of me, "It'll be a memory we surely won't forget." I grimace- I mean grin.

Lastly Ichigo ended it with showing us the most amazing place to lounge in the warm breeze. Well, more so me, because apparently everyone else knew the chill spot.

I remember being so at peace... I don't think I've ever felt better than I did then, surrounded by amazing people and staring out into the fluid mosaic reflection of the sky. Upbeat, serene music danced from my phone and amongst the breeze, delivering itself to to our ears with promises of calm and tranquility...

. . .

"Ok, I have to head back to the mad hatter's" I sat up, picking up my phone.

"Aww! But Shi-shiro!"

"Sorry, but if I'm lucky, he's probably still fawning over that cat," I go around and help them all to their feet.

Except Sad doe!

Never again...

"Where are you guys heading, back to my place?" I tilt my head to them all.

"Nah, Chad has agreed to let the party continue at his place, so stop by there when that mad man lets you off the hook," I go chi invites. Behind him, The tanned teen nods once.

Oh! So they'll hijack my place! But not Chad's!

No! They ask for his opinion!.

The nerve...

I'm sure my expression is a clear display of my thoughts, "Yeah sure, I hate my house now anyway," I grumble under my breath. "So, what's the address?" I tilt my head. Chad pulls out his phone pressing a few things before putting it back up.

_bzzzp_!

My phone alarms me of a message.

"Uh... that must be you... alright, I'll be heading back then,"

I wave at them, and make my way to the shop.

**~X~**

"Hello? Knock knock? Is it still cat hour?" I call into the store, but my voice just runs through the rooms before rushing back to me. "Maybe they all went out for drinks..?"

"Shiro! You actually came back. I'm surprised," Those familiar layers of green come around the corner.

"Oh! Smug hatter!" i raise my brows at him. "Where is the crew? I was hoping to hug Ururu again... and maybe punch jinta one good time..." I murmur the last bit.

"Them? Well, I needed some materials and information, so I sent them out to go get it." he looks to the woody ceiling above us.

"So... it'll be just you an me this round of training. No audience and..." he narrows those mischievous grey eyes at my form. The fuck is he starin' at? "...No rescue team," his voice darkens.

!

A shiver runs through me.

Why do I feel like that's a really bad thing for me in particular?

"Uh..." I trail off, peeking behind me to see how far away the exit is. Dammit, why did I come to him instead of the other way around?!

"Right this way, little Bokuso-chi," He rests his cane upon his shoulders, turning his back to me.

Shifting my feet subtly, I try to make some head way back to the door. This guy is too freakin' scary sometimes...

"Ah-ah~!" Shit! Please tell me that stern tug on my collar is something on the wall. Oh wait! I'm not near any walls!

I almost lose my balance when I feel the backwards jerk from Urahara.

"The training room is this way silly~" he splurges the most sadistic euphoria into his words.

"Please don't kill me..." I plead. allowing my heels to drag upon the flooring to slow my progress to my death.

"It's funny you'd say that." he smirks, kicking open the hatch and hopping down. Anxiety swells in my gut, It feels like I'm on a roller coaster!

"I SHOULD HAVE JUST WALKED!"

"Oh come now, no need to be so loud," he lands with such grace, tossing away me from his being.

Crap!

I skid upon my side, flinging my legs to shift my weight and catch myself.

"Alright. This training exercise will be simple," he starts. "Release your spiritual pressure," he states.

"Oh... is that all?" I smile as relief floods me, and I close my eyes to focus.

"Let me stop you right there" _flak!_ He summons his fan. "I need you to release a lot of it. To go beyond your limits and all that and I'll be honest, I don't think you can do it without a little help from me and benehime," Unsheathing the goddess that is his blade, I stare in awe of her simplistic beauty.

Sure, I've seen it before, but something about her calls to me and makes me shudder.

"Unfortunately for you, nothing releases quite as much raw spiritual pressure as when a soul is in danger," he explains.

oh shit...

"And, as I mentioned earlier, there isn't anyone here to patch you up if I get carried away," he pins me with that storm of thought exploding just behind his eyes. "But don't worry, I wont let that happen" he watches me and I reserve my reaction, because it feels like he has way more to say

"Because I plan on actually killing you here,"

Oh fuck.

Someone help me.

Please.

"Let's begin," he comes for me.

"I'm going to die," I dodge. Oh yeah! That's right! I'm faster than him!

I use my speed to my advantage, pouncing about the terrain with the ol' man lagging behind me.

"I see you remember that you have speed on me, but I have a couple things on you," he grips his hat and flings a wave of blood lust at me.

_**CRASH!**_

I grunt as I combine with a rock.

"Ow... is that my blood?" I look at the tiny puddle beneath me. "Oh my gosh... He can calculate my speed and trajectory while factoring in the speed and depleting strength of his own blast to nail me like that! All in a matter of second!"

_TH-THUMP!_

My heart pounds in my ears, but, unfortunately, it's not from fear of my life or of his strength, but in unrivaled giddiness and a flustered heat that fills me.

Ah! Fool! Cover your face! Cover your face! I bet I'm blushing!

"I freakin' hate you..." I growl, pulling my body out the rock. It's too hot in there now...

I hate him so much...

I rub my blush out my face. I need to focus, I may be fawning, but he certainly isn't.

"Pay attention..."

"!" I fling myself away from him, turning around to face his awaiting attack.

Ok! I'm literally getting hit by every single strike here!

"Wait! you'll- You'll actually kill me!"

throw myself around to dodge him, but's weakened my speed to his level and does not intend to let me recover. He plays with me, bouncing me around like he's playing catch with himself, and I just simply can't keep up anymore!

I feel my body falling apart bit by bit, each blow taking a chunk of me with it, but that earns me no sympathy from him. No mercy.

He watches me the entire time, Watching for my decisions, watching to see if I'd take my last breath or take my final stance...

I can't keep up!

He knocks me down for the count and lands before my fallen form.

"Get up, Shiro,"

I grunt, attempting to do just that but my...body...won't let me...

"Get up," I tell myself. "Get up!" I bark at my pathetic being. Come on! Ichigo does it all the time! How many times have I heard of that man coming back from the brink of death! Yet I can't even lift my hand!

"That's it. . . You're spent," Urahara narrows his eyes are my trembling form. He'd raised his sword and charged it. He even swung at her. But he stopped just centimeters from her actual being.

This is it.

This is all she can muster.

"Let's get you upstairs,"

* * *

**A/N: I love this little story **^_^ **I'm glad I'm finally sharing with you all!**


	6. Who he is

**Previously: **

"That's it. . . You're spent," Urahara narrows his eyes at my trembling form. He'd raised his sword and charged it. He even swung at me. But he stopped just centimeters from my actual being.

This is it.

This is all I can muster.

"Let's get you upstairs,"

* * *

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Who He Is**

I jerk awake.

A frustrated growl leaves me, "Of course I wake up in pain! I always wake up in pain cause apparently this is my life now," I look around.

What happened last night?

I remember the training and almost dying and stuff, but after that... I just remember being really sleepy... So sleepy to the point that anything that didn't have to do with sleep barely got any attention in my mind...

What a second.

This isn't my house...

I may not remember last night, but I would have gone home... right? Then again I was pretty banged up...I might not have made it back.

But still...

I take another sweep of the room.

This room is way more homey than the usual recovery rooms in the shop.

"I'm telling you, she went home after training so hard last night. I'm sure she's waiting for one of her lovely friends to come by and see how she's doing!" is that Kiskue talking? It sounds like he's right outside that door.

"Why do I get the idea that you're hiding something from me, hat and clogs,"

Oh! That muffled voice sounds like Ichigo!

Is the little red head here looking for me? Oh crap! Of course he is! I was supposed to meet them at Sado's after training!

"Well, you take care now you crazy kid!"

"Hey! Wait! Listen to me!"

Hehe. I think Urahara just kicked him out again!

_Shhk!_

The opposing wall slide open to reveal the Smug hatter himself. he releases a sigh, allowing that always present smile to ease off his face as he steps into the room. _Shhk!_ the door closes behind him.

"So you're awake." the statement comes before his acknowledging eyes. "I had a feeling you had. You just missed Ichigo," his tone is a lot more solemn. Is this his default octave? The mischievous pervert just seems like his front for the world he's concocted so that other people trust him.

After all, who doesn't trust that silly old man who helps them in a bind? They're a lot easier to accept than the genius with the sharp eyes that looks like they've already figured you out and deduced a formula that can either break you or propel you to new highs of strength.

But that last part seems to be missing right now.

He seems more... calculating. Like he can't find the proper function to apply here.

"What is it you can't figure out?" my bad habit leads to leaking lips.

Did I just say that out loud?

"What's that?" he inquires, an excited smile consuming those lips.

Rubbing at the blush rising on my cheeks halts their assault. "I was trying to ask what happened last night after training," My posture straightens. Is that a nervous tick of mine?

That smile stays put.

"Well now, you don't remember Shiro?"_snap!_His fan awakens at his side.

_Swoosh!_

I find myself out of the bed and upon him. My brown hands covering his mouth before his folded paper can.

"Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up! Don't say it out loud damnit!" I narrow my eyes at his.

Ugh. The asshole is still smiling.

"Mut Mou Masked!" he doesn't even try to escape me.

I swear I'mma hurt him for messing with me.

"I know I asked! But for some freaky neaky reason when you opened that silly woman trap of yours it came back to me, and I don't want you to say it," I frown, but I'm pretty freakin' certain that my embarrassment is shining though it's intimidation factor.

Gah!

Ok! Ok... so apparently I _was _focused on sleeping last night. I tried to go home once, but he stopped me. But then... But then my crazy self demanded a bed if I were to stay, but he refused.

And I went and found one.

I crawled right in and the Smug hatter tried to dismay me by revealing it was his. I told him to go fuck himself, and he told me that he was sleeping in his bed so I had to make the decision of if I was going to move or sleep with a grown ass man.

But the bed was so. got damn. comfy.

So I scooted over and pat the mattress beside me! I literally invited him in!

And he accepted! taking off some of his layers to slide in with me before I kicked him out, stating how he was wearing outside clothes and how that made the fabrics contaminated!

Luckily! Urahara was nice enough to actually get up and change into actual sleeping clothes, and he probably did it without changing rooms in order to ward me off.

But he doesn't know tired me.

And apparently I don't either.

I remember pretty much conking out when he got out the bed to change. I kinda remember my rest being disturbed by his return but that was it...

I feel hands encase my wrists before lowering them to meet my eyes. I barely notice the way his thumbs press into the tense center of my palms, calming them.

"Did you just call my mouth a woman trap?" my heart stutters at the accusation.

Fuck.

He curves into me, my trapped hands pressings into his chest and filling the divots that accentuate his toned structure.

Oh my Gosh someone help me.

"Are you a woman, Shiro? A woman that is about to be trapped." he makes it his business to linger those milky marshmallows in the peripheral of my sight. I want to look so badly, the edge of vision taunts me with the way his lips tightly curl around each syllables and sculpt the vibrations to rattle me to my core. No. I can't look. If I do he'll know that I am.

I am about to get caught.

"I..." my lips part, some side of my brain delirious of his scent speaks.

"I hate you so much," There is no bite to it, no anger. Just submission that I can't help but surrender.

"Hate me already?" those deep octaves rattle in my gut.

I swallow the dryness in my throat, but it does little. My being yearns for the warmth wafting from him. For the thoughts locked in his brain. For him.

"You should... let... Let me go,"

I speak again, but another part of me has taken over. A traitorous part that my body doesn't agree with. It tries to go against my words, leaning closer to smother it out, but Urahara gets a smile of giddiness adorning his features.

"I didn't get to tease you much last night, I got all undress for you and you fell asleep on me!" he systematically releases my form, cutting me free bit by bit.

Ounce by ounce he takes back every bit of heat and fire he instilled upon me. Lastly is my hands. And I'm naked and cold.

_bzzzzzzzzzp!  
_My phone announces itself on the night stand.

"You should answer it. I told Ichigo you were home and to head there to give you some time. It's probably him. I hope you have a lie..." he sways his cane around his finger.

"Crap..." I rush around the room. picking up my clothes. Have I been in nothing but my bandages this whole time!? Sure they cover my entire upper body, and I'm wearing my shorts. But I don't like my clothes on my torso to be _this _form fitting. I reach for my shirt but quickly shy away from it.

I can't wear that. everyone will know I spent the night!

"Ichigo!?" I pick up the cellular device and answer in rushed breaths.

"Shiro! Where are you? I'm at your place. Hat and clogs said you'd be here." I look around for my bag of items I bought yesterday. Oh! Is that it there on the other side of the bed?

Diving for it, I realize I haven't answer the boy on the other side of the phone.

"Me? Oh! I'm uh. Actually at the grocery store!" I huff into the phone.

"Grocery store? and why are you out of breath!? Do you need help or something?" he gets louder, seeming to lean into the receiver in his worry.

I pull out that stupid bunnie onesie Orohime and I bought and i pull down my shorts, snapping it shut between my thighs.

Oh crap... I forgot how high the top of the leg holes go. Jeeze. It's a good thing I wore high waist-ed shorts, else my panties might be showing.

Like I said.

It's a man trap!

I'm going to be so hot in this. It's already summer after all.

Oh shit! I haven't responded!

"Yeah! I do need some help, I sustained some pretty bad injuries in my training last night so carrying these bags is winding me," I throw my fishnet socks and boots on.

Ok! This should be believable right?

"I'll see you there! And thanks!"

I hang up on him.

Ok! This should do right? I only changed my top but like, I own a million shorts like this and socks like this, it's not suspicious.

I sprint for the rooms exit, but Urahara blocks it.

"Hey, I really need to beat Ichigo to the store! Can you move, please? Also, I can't bring that bag with me of he'll know something's up, can I leave it in here? I promise to come back for it as soon as I've gotten rid of-" my mouth snaps shut.

He watches me with his intense greys, and his smile is the most mischievous I've ever seen it.

"Aaaaaaaaah-" It's not a scream. It's not high pitched enough. It's just a note I hold as the realization of what I just did dawns upon me. And I keep holding it. And I'm pretty sure for every minute that I sustain that octave, his lips spread a little bit wider and look a little bit more evil.

"-aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh I fucked up," I yelp.

"Did you?" he questions, screw his jovial tone!

"No!" I shake my head, "_You_ fucked up! Why did you just stand there! If you see a lady getting naked, you high-tail it out the room!" there is no real accusation in my tone, just unrepentant horror. "Even though it's your room..." I add the last bit reluctantly.

. . .

. .

.

I fucked up.

"Congratulations! You've been blessed with the loveliness that is my body, even if it was mostly obscured. Thanks for playing!" WHAT AM I SAYING!? I sound like one of those game show hosts!

Ok, I'm not longer cold. I am burning hot. Mostly my face.

My chocolate hands worm around him, opening the door to the room and I squeeze by because even he seems a bit shock by what I just said. Albeit, pleasantly so.

"You need to be careful, Shiro,"

I kick up my inhuman speed and disappear from ear shot.

bzzzzzzzp!

I skid to a stop at entrance of a 'Plants for People' produce shop.

That must be I-go-chi.

"Hey! Hey, What's up? Are you here?" I go up and down the aisles, grabbing things I usually buy, whether I really need it or not.

"Yeah, I'm at Plants for People. The one down the street from the clinic. I've been up and down these halls, and I haven't seen that irritating tuff of white hair of yours," Ichigo taunts.

I raise a white brow, "Well clearly you're blind. I'm in the 12th aisle, and I've been here for a while. I haven't seen that ugly mug of yours or that mess of carrot shavings you've glued to you head" I smirk.

"Oh! Is that right? Stay right there, I'm gonna come kick your ass!"

Oh shit. I think I can here his footsteps from here.

"Sounds like someone is too excited for his butt whoopin'," I tempt, but it is then I here my voice bounce back at me.

"Is that right?"

_A woman that is about to be trapped_

The most pitiful squeak leaves me as my phone drops to the ground and I jump away from Ichigo.

When did he get behind me? I should have seen him coming.

"Time for your ass kicking!" The orange haired male seems to miss my silly display. Thank goodness. I turn to him, leading with my leg and the kick sends him bouncing down the ice cream filled fridges.

"Oh no! Sir you frightened me!" I cup my face in my palms, my little helpless shtick seeping out.

"Why you..."

"I-go-chi!" I perk as Oreo comes from the left to tend to the poor boy. Her innocent orbs find me and her mood flicks from worry to excitement. "Shi-shiro!" she cheers.

"What- You guys actually found her? I was certain we were being scent on a wild goose chase!" Udyu joins the party, adjusting his glasses.

I wonder if those frames are too big for him.. he seems to always be pushing them up...

Or maybe he's just fidgety?

They seem to all regard me from a distance, helping the soul reaper from his fall. Oops, I guess I kicked him a little too hard.

"You should..." is that Sad-doe? "...Be careful Shiro... When you didn't show up... everyone worried," I look up to the friendly giant, and something blossoms in my chest. A certain euphoria.

"Yeah, will do," I promise.

After getting our goods, we head back to my place, so I can drop them off.

"Are we heading back to Sad-doe's? It would be really cool to see the place!" inquiry dances about the group.

"Sure..." the tanned male nods acceptingly.

"Oh! Great! let me just change," I head for my quarters.

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe you wore your shirt today! You should have let me know! I would have worn mine tooo!" Oreo puts the saddest look upon her face.

"Yeah, I guess I was a little too eager! This is more of a fall or winter garb, I was sweating pretty bad all day! I might even need a shower now," I head off to start the cycle.

Once I'm in the bathroom, I remove my bandages to find an almost blemish-less torso.

"Oh my gosh... Urahara is amazing. How did he do this?" I whisper to my reflection. While dancing around to survey my body, I catch sight of my tampered birth mark.

I still don't know what am or becoming...

But I guess I can leave that be for now...

Stepping into the shower instantly coats me in glorious warmth! But even this does not compare to the fire I felt earlier...

"Stop thinking about! It's stupid! You're stupid!" I chastise myself. I hate him..

_Hate me already?_

"Think of something else!"

I sniff my soap, "This soap smells amazing, such good soap. I should totally make more soon."

I step out and quickly dress in my blacks before heading back to my people.

"So what do you think it's for? Do you think she's famous or something?" Oreo speaks.

They're all crowded around something.

"Famous? No way, she probably flops around in them at best," I-go-chi throws his hat in the ring.

"No, I'm certain Shiro is probably an amatuer..." Udyu shrugs.

"Hey...Shiro.." Sado is the only one who seems to have noticed me. "...What are these ballet shoes for?" he asks. pointing down to the group of sweating teens.

"Pfft" I choke back my laughter.

One by one they peel back to show my favorite set of black ballet shoes.

"Oh... Uh, I actually have a channel online that I post dancing videos on. I get quite a few views, I've been told my emotion comes through pretty well, even if my movements leave something to be desire. So, to confirm and deny all theories, I am a famous-ish amatuer who flops around with compelling emotion," I shrug.

"Let's go," my brown digit guides all to the door.

"Thank you for remembering that you don't need to sneak around or guess with me. Sado," I smile.

"No problem... Here, you dropped this in the store," I look down to the sleek red of my phone and take it.

I completely forgot about it.

"Thanks again big guy,"

* * *

**A/N: THANKS FOR READING! Please reading! Reviews are always welcomed!**


	7. Dance Dance

**It's Tuesday!**

* * *

**Previously: **

"No problem... Here, you dropped you phone in the store," I look down to the sleek red and take.

I completely forgot about it.

"Thanks again big guy,"

**Chapter 7: Dance Dance**

* * *

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

* * *

I wait in a sprint ready stance.

"Target acquired," the words pass under my breath.

I wore shorts today for this very reason...

"Now!"

My feet bite into the dirt, shooting me forward, but I can't use any inhuman speed here, not with all these witnesses.

All the same, the wind chases me, trying to stay in front by I rush past it all.

The timing has to be perfect.

Faster.

Brown legs tense and release, sending my frame flying through the air and I clear the cement barrier.

"I got you now!" I wrap my arms around the tan throat of my victim and his medallion jingles as we go tumbling backwards. I'm careful to protect his head as we clear the other barrier and head for the soft grass.

All according to plan.

My feet just barely get under me in time to take the brunt of the momentum, transferring it into the soft grass below me.

_CRASH!_

I stand to my feet and turn back to the shaded walk way connecting the two school's buildings. My hand rises and contorts to a peace sign.

"Behold! This is proof that no man woman or unsuspecting elderly is too big to be tackled by me!" I boom, hand on hip and confidence in stance.

"Ch-Chad! Are you ok!" I-go-chi peers over the short walls, his attention absorbed by the tall, unharmed form lying face down in the grass besides me. "I can't believe you did that!"

"Oh wow! That was amazing Shi-shiro! To think you took Sado down!" Oreo cheers from besides Tatsuki who cradles her head in wonder of how she got tangled up with our lot.

"Hmm..." Sad-doe sits up, bending a long leg to rest and equally long arm upon it. "That... wasn't fair Shiro..." his low octaves never change.

"All is fair in love in war." I turn to him. "I would help you up... but you've ruined my trust so.. yeah," I shrug, a toothy grin sprouting upon my lips.

"That's ok..." Sad-doe grabs my hand and drags me down into the dirt regardless.

"Gasp! I can't believe you just did that! Now I can't even stand next to you!"

"Haha! Wait to go Chad! Show her you're no one to be messed with!" I-go-chi beams, declaring his support for the enemy.

traitor.

"Nah... You just have to accept you'll be taking trips into the dirt...every now and then," The tanned male smiles fondly.

"Yeah Yeah, Let's go so we can get back to class," I get up, dusting my shorts off.

The upside to 'slipping off' of people is that when I do spectacles like this, no one cares. I kind of thought that after hanging with people for so long, that other would follow suit, but as everyone just passes by without the slightest regard of me... I feel kind of invisible. Like I'm just the group's collective imaginary friend.

Why wont they see me?

"Uuuugh, don't make that stupid face, Chad, bring miss mopey along before we're late!"

"...Right,"

"Oh shit!" I gasp when the strong man lifts me, toned arm around my waist like I'm a sack of produce.

"Let's go.." he clears the tiny wall and jogs to class, all while I-go-chi laughs his stupid ass off.

"I can walk! I swear!" I get out between bouncy movements.

I'm gonna kick Ichigo's butt!

Class flies pass like usual.

After class Ichigo gets dragged off to handle some hollows, so I just kind of walk home alone.

"Heading out, Shiro?" I look up to Udyu, as he adjusts his eye wear again.

I swear they're too big.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Well, Clearly I'm heading to Sunflower Seams which is in your direction, I'm definitely not making an excuse to walk you home now that Ichigo is busy,"

. . .

Really?

"That is the worst lie I have ever heard in my life, come on," I nudge for him to follow.

"No, really, you'd be surprised how often people ask for my help, and you can imagine that it diminishes my supplies pretty quickly." he piles the excuses on like second helping of a meal.

"Yup... I still don't believe you," I pat his back.

"Let's just drop you at your place so I can get to my store,"

"Awwww. So concerned with my safety are you?" I beam and the authenticity of it aligns the Quincy's lips.

"Yes, actually. Until we find out what it is you are, you have no clear way of destroying a hollow. My understanding is that Rukia put a seal on your house that conceals your spiritual pressure from hollow, so you're safe there, but you have to get there first." he explains.

I feel my brow scrunch up incredulously.

"What? Rukia? I've barely seen that girl around and you're telling she not only came to my house but put a seal on it without my permission?" I'm grateful and all, but she was invited to the sleep over, she could have totally just accepted and used that as the perfect time.

But instead she sneaks around...

Maybe she doesn't want to be associated with me?

But then why put the seal there?

Maybe Ichigo asked... or maybe even Udyuu.

"Try not to be so harsh on her. From my observations and Ichigo's testimony, she's gotten very distant since the Menos scare. Everyone has been worried about her since... She even stopped sleeping at Ichigo's..." he takes a look off into the distance, and from what I can hear, that's where I-go-chi- and Rukia are taking down that hollow.

"This is me," I nudge my head to the standing structure. and we make our way to the door.

"If you don't mind, may I come in? I actually have something I'd like to show you. I was working on it today in class," he fidgets with those glasses.

Ok, that's it.

As I lead him in, I focus on his specs, "Hey. Ishi ishi, Are those too big for you? You seem to fidget with them alot,"

The blue haired male laughs in a fit of... nervousness? I'm pretty sure that's what is dripping on his voice. "Too big? What! Why would you say that? They're the perfect size! Great! Never better."

"You are really bad at lying, but I like that about you," I poke him in his chest, "So what did you want to show me? It's not a pregnancy test is it?"

"What...? No!" he rummages through the polyester material of his bag, "Behold!" _swoosh!_ he produces a beautiful ballerina outfit with the most delicate tutu and a silver corset bodice.

The shock weakens me. My fingers no longer able to hold my bag, my legs no longer able to hold me and my mouth unable to stay closed.

My hands summon just enough strength to cover my parted lips, but they cannot stop the blurring of my vision, nor the shaky wale that constricts my gut and rips through my throat.

The sew master before me had been explaining the Victorian and ice inspired origins of the garb, but he stops short at my reaction.

"Whoa.. Shiro, are you ok?"

Only my silent scream escaping around my fingers answers him.

"Hey! I'm sorry, I thought that you would like it! I didn't know that it would make you cry! I should have asked first. Please, I'll put it away," the hurt radiating off him is visible even through my salty sight.

White hair flashes in and out my sight as my head shakes violently in disagreement.

Quickly, brown digits grasp the delicate silver tu tu and they find the rhinestones adorning the piece.

Such detail!

For me. . .?

"Shiro..?"

I don't know why I'm crying so hard. Wasn't it I who said no one likes a cry baby? And yet I can't stop these stupid tears!

Why? Why can't I stop!?

I get plenty of gifts! At my birthday parties, for Christmas.

Only I don't.

Every Birthday party has had one of everything. One stupid balloon, one cupcake, and one lonely ass attendee. And Christmas morning has a tree that I sleep under and nothing else.

I have never received a gift in my entire life.

Now that I think about it, I always woke up disappointment because my dreams the night before would almost be amazing.

Did I start to replace those lonely memories with my dreams?

"I'm so sorry," My voice cracks, but slowly, I'm gaining strength back to fight off the tears.

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"I know all of this crying without reason can make someone really uncomfortable, yet I'm doing it anyway," My hands thrash the droplets from my features and my legs force my into a wall so that I may shove myself up it.

I still my tone, "I wont do it again, but I suppose I tricked my self into forgetting this is the first gift I've every received." I explain to him, un-tucking my blouse to do a final sweep of of my face.

Finally cleaned up, I face Ishi-shi, ready to accept his gift and I find him glaring at me and holding the token of love hostage.

I fucked up, didn't I?

I don't deserve it anymore.

"Listen to me Shiro," He beckons my undivided attention, "I am going to give you this gift, and it wont be the last. And as you can expect, soon all of us will be giving you gifts," his tone holds undeniable authority, and unquestionable validity.

"And if any or all of these gifts make you shed tears of absolute joy, then you're going to cry your eyes out. Do you understand me?" he grasps onto my shoulder.

He... wants me to cry?

"And if Orohime does anything that makes you sad, you are going do what comes naturally. If Ichigo infuriates you, then show your anger, and if Sado makes a joke, then I want you to die laughing," he instructs.

"I know you have been raised by the television, but the way things happen on there aren't real. Some of it can teach you valuable lessons, but a lot of it is fake. In the TV they are paid to display certain emotions, in the real world we don't get to chose what emotion to display, we feel what we comes to us and act on it. I'm not saying to start acting blindly on your emotions, but I am saying that you need to stop trying to choose how something effects you emotionally."

I get it.

He's saying it's ok.

It's ok if I'm hurting... I don't have to be invulnerable to traumatic events.

This guy. Amazing at sewing, Quincy archery, and at being a friend.

"Thanks,"

like that, he offers me the ensemble, "Good. After we saw your Ballet shoes a couple weeks ago, I was inspired to generate something that would allow you to dance in taste," he watches to see if his guessed measurements may have actually worked.

"It looks like I got the size right, but when you try it on, definitely let me know if I need to adjust anything,"

"I'mma go try it on," I blurt, moseying around the corner.

"What?! Right now?" he stays put while I strip, purposefully tossing my discarded uniform pass the thresh hold to fluster the gallant boy.

"Can you bring me my shoes?" I smirk the tiniest bits when his shaky little nerd hands present the black ones to me.

"I mean, I was actually talking about the black and silver ones that would match this better, but I guess this'll do," I taunt, "You're not looking are you?"

"What? Of course not!"

"That's too bad.. Cause I'm dressed," I pop around the hallway's entry and into the main room.

"You're really impressive Ishida being able to get my measurements perfect like this!" I praise, swinging and twisting my body about to test the elasticity. Wow it has the perfect amount of give. "I might have to wear this for the big production!" I announce.

"Why thank you, but what production if you don't mind me asking?"

"Oh! The channel's anniversary is coming up, and I wanted to do a dance on a larger scale this time in honor of it," I pull out my phone to start playing the beat I had in mind for the piece and I start to string together the choreography.

"Isn't this the same song you played when while we were relaxing by the river?" Ishida points out and I grin at his acute memory.

"Why yes! While it was playing I was thinking of the emotion and story for it. This will be the first time I do a piece outside the studio, so I want the spot to be perfect" I check how well the outfit reacts to chaines, and I make sure to spot, of course.

"Define perfect,"

"Somewhere with only a hint of of civilization, but is mostly nature ruled. There will be lots of flowers and visible shots of the sun. Maybe somewhere a bit higher in elevation so that the winds can aid in fluid movements," I shrug. I dunno. I guess I have been thinking hard about it. "I'm thinking about renting a drone photographer for some really cool shots. It's gonna be awesome, hopefully,"

"I see," he fidgets with his lenses, "Well, You're safely home and have what I came to give you, I suppose it's time I head out," He heads for the door.

I spring to the door splitting my legs before snapping them shut, and open it.

"Thank you so much, by the way,"

"Of course, have a great night, luckily Sunflower Seams is twenty four hours, so I may head home for now and come out later at night,"

"Sure, sure," _CLICK!_ I lock up behind him.

"I should get out of this, I'd hate to sweat into it before I can even properly perform in it.

I shimmy out the outfit and toss it gently over my arm before balling my uniform under my armpit and heading for my room.

Once there, I hang my gift up outside the closet so that I can wake up to while tossing my khaki shorts and button up into the dirty clothes.

Today has be pretty freakin' awesome!

Though if I'm honest, every day has been the best of my life ever since I started hanging with I-go-chi and his people.

I feel like I should commemorate this.

Oh!

Maybe I'll draw us all tomorrow!

I feel like they'd all be down with that. After class we can go to each of our houses and pick up a change of clothes, then we'll take a picture and I will torture myself by attempting to recreate that picture and sending myself into a state of artistic depression.

It'll be great!

Maybe...

To avoid killing myself to badly, I'm probably gonna limit it to just me, Ichigo, Ishida, Sado, and Orohime.

I'm sure it'll turn out cute... or completely horrendous but whatever.

_bzzzzp!_

My phone? This late?

I pick up the red object and blind myself with the shock of light.

Ow.

Turning down the brightness I see it's from Oreo. I grin when I see the attached photo of her with some Oreo cookies, a glass of milk, and carrots

_Oreo: I'm being bad and having a snack before bed! Don't tell anyone . . _

_ps. You see what I did? I'm Oreo eating an Oreo! and I got some carrots to add to them for flavor and color! Pretty neat huh? Anyways! Good night ^.^!_

I shake my head. If she wanted to match the cookies she could have just bought the orange flavored ones, instead of making one of her interesting concoctions.

_bzzzzp!_

Another?

What's gotten into her? Oh wait. It's Sado this time.

_Saddoe: ...Goodnight...shiro_

Everyone must be staying up late since it's Thursday night, and did he really have to type all the dots? that silly giant.

I cuddle with my phone under the covers as Ishida also texts me. It's a picture of a plastic bag with a sunflower on it

_Ishi Ishi: I told you I was going to the fabric store. I just got out of there. They were having some deals on their thread so that's what I go. I'm sure you think I just found an old bag, filled it with supplies, and stepped outside to take the picture, so if you wanted to see the receipt I lost, who could blame you._

Emerald eyes roll exaggeratedly. He's such a bad liar and it it simultaneous adorable, hilarious, and stupid.

_bzzzp!_

"Oh! Is that I-go-chi joining in the fun? I hadn't expected-_bzzzzp_" my whispers are interrupted. Another message just came through before I can even look at the first one...

_bzzzp!_

Another?

Who are they from?

The name just reads 'You should really have a lock on your phone'

o...k?

Frowning. I open the conversation to see there are previous messages between us, but it's just me praising the individual for their brilliance and wittiness, and them 'humbly' accepting it.

I'm pretty I didn't write those messages.

The new ones are pictures of my shopping bag, a pale hand showing me all the items I purchased while out with everyone and they're still typing.

_?: I've got something that belongs to you..._

_?: Remember these? I'm sure you remember where you left them... in the den of the lion. _

OK, I know who this is.

_?: If I remember correctly you promised to come get them. But you never showed_

_?: Come to the shop in less than one hour. And you MIGHT be able to still save them!_

Holy shit! Is that my stuff dangling over a fire? Does he even have a fire pit at that shop?!

I sit up straight and palm my face.

Great...

That was two weeks ago that I left my things there... and I did promise to get them later, but when I thought about going there.. about facing him...

"Gah!" I rub at my stupid face that thinks it needs to set on fire every-time I think about him! I also punch my gut to stop whatever starts roaming around in there when he comes up. And my traitorous legs feel the need to jell-i-fy at the mere Idea of him.

I haven't even been going to training.

And he's right, I really should put a lock on my phone if grown ass men feel the need to add their number to it to taunt me.

The jerk.

"...Are those items really worth it?" I ask the walls, and my jello limbs solidify as if to answer.

"Fine... But we'll be quick. I'm talking mock 5 speed. I'm talking inhuman speed there and back," I look down at my nude body. I should probably get dressed first.

I suppose I don't need underwear...

"Oh be honest with yourself... you're not wearing undies cause you want him to notice," that traitorous part of me speaks up, and I hate it, but she's right, "You're 15! he isn't interested in you! And you shouldn't be interested him! he's like twice your age!" that part of me chastises.

Yeah... ok... good point.

I walk over to the closet.

"What should I wear?"

Hmmm...

Ok, even though I know I can't pursue this who crush thing, I'm still not wearing under. Mostly because I haven't worn a bra in forever(fuck bras) and because I don't see a need to wear panties, it's not like anyone is going to notice.

Now..

"I'mma wear pajamas so that it looks like I just jumped out the bed and don't plan to stick around for long," I mutter.

After all, that is what happened, and I what I plan to do.

In and out like lightning!

Looking around for some modest PJ's, I settle on a set of thin material with pants and long roomy sleeves. Oh! and it has a cute cat skull on it with ears!

Good pick me. Good pick.

I slip on my choice and some gym shoes and take up my beasts in my arms before breaking out into the dead of night in a sprint.

Let's get this over.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading another chapter! All reviews are welcomed!**


	8. Everything Ends

**A/N: Hopefully you're enjoying the story! Onwards!**

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**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

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**Previously:**

Looking around for some modest PJ's, I settle on a set of thin material with paints and long roomy sleeves. Oh! and the sure has a cute cat skull on it with ears!

Good pick me. Good pick.

I slip on my choice and some gym shoes and take up my beasts in my arms before breaking out into the dead of night in a sprint.

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**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

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**Chapter 8: Everything ends**

_Almost there. _

_Almost there._

I'm so close, and honestly, despite my earlier reluctance, itching to get out of this night.

As soon as I left the comfort of my home, the night drops a heavy atmosphere onto my shoulders. At first I thought I could bare it, at least until I made it. But it's weight is heavier than I anticipate, crushing my confidence into a lead-like anxiety in my gut.

The feeling inflates into a dizzy relief when the shop appears into view.

_Safety._

I find myself speeding up rather than slowing down. I'm pretty sure I'm planning to come crashing through the doors, if that didn't open and birth a certain hatter.

_skiiiiiid!_

I barely catch myself, stopping just a few feet from his composed form.

. . .

He only shows me his eyes, and their sharpness cuts through me and my resolve to drop my irrational crush, riling up an unfathomable fire inside me that I hate so much.

. . .

Why isn't he saying anything? Is he waiting on me?

"You've been avoiding me, Shiro," he pins me.

My breaths rattle from my lungs.

He's right, I have been.

"I came for my stuff that you have threatened to burn, Do you even have a fire-pit? I also gotta say I'm shocked you even have a phone, you seem too old school for that, where's my stuff?" I bounce around topics, any topic that isn't the one he picked.

But he watches me.

Calculating some formula I can't see.

The equations seem to thunder behind his pupils and each incorrect output is struck down like lightening and it makes my gut quiver.

My quakes seem to awaken him. He blinks his thought cloud from his eyes and readjusts to me.

"You haven't even been coming to your training sessions,"

_Because I was afraid you'd look at me like that again._

Ugh. Me and my stupid crush!

I make my way pass him, and I'm equally thankful and disappointed when he lets me by.

Entering the building, I take a moment to ponder where my things might be.

Hmm...

I know it's not where I left it, I would have seen the bed in the background of the photo... Yet I'm pretty sure the smug hatter would have been certain to keep it out of sight of the other residences.

So an empty room?

hmm...

It would be easier to figure it out if every nook and cranky of this place didn't look identical.

Maybe in the empty room with the TV and VCR player?

I widen my strides towards the room in question, and sliding open it's more traditional door shows me the glossy white rectangle of my shopping bag. I walk over to it and pick up it's thin rope like handles.

_In and out._

Turning on my toes, I swing the bag behind me in a model pose I've practiced in the mirror before and head out. That once prominent fear curls in my gut the closer I get to the exit, but it's shoved to the side by something else when emerald weathers grey.

As soon as we lock, I snatch away, searching his outline for a way around him, but he's blocking the only exit effectively.

Is this his thing? Does he like to block off the only routes of people often? He did it in the bedroom too, but that door had been too big for him to keep me captive. Now he's found the perfect threshold to fit his broad frame.

_My gosh someone help me._

"Can you move? It's Thursday and I was sleeping. I kinda need to get home so I can get up for school tomorrow, it's the last day, yeah, but I don't want to be groggy and stuff for it," I reason, shifting around him to find an angle, but he doesn't budge.

"You feel it, don't you? Tonight is different." the feign jovial is gone, leaving only his tortured tone behind. My eyes widen. So it isn't just my paranoia running rapid in the darkness. He shows me a smirk-less face, "An important battle is taking place, and its inevitable outcome is going to change things as you know it," he warns, ominously, might I add.

"O...k?" my sight narrows suspiciously

"I can't allow you to leave yet," he expresses his point bluntly.

Oh my gosh...

I don't know what to do with that..

On TV it usually leads to the speaker either trapping the other person against a wall and kissing them, or the speaker ends up trying to kill the other person.

Honestly, with the Smug hatter, both of those options are very possible.

"... If you didn't want me outside, why make me come over? I wasn't going to leave the house anyway..." I furrow my brows.

"Because you've been avoiding me, and I can't figure out what you are if you avoid me," he steps closer, and I feel my posture submit to him, my chin tucking in, doeish eyes looking up, and hands holding each other.

"Well... even when I'm with you I can't figure who or what you are.." I murmur to myself, but he responds anyway.

"You're just not paying attention," he taps his hat. "We have a bit of time, so we'll catch up on your training,"

Huffing, I concede to the activity and request bandages from my captor.

I go back into the empty room to change. I guess I'm wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt to training.

When Urahara brings the bandages I use them to hold my breasts in place and I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

We head down to the usual area, and he's quick to begin, but its different. He doesn't unsheathe benehime once, instead he allows her to remain dormant as he battles, permitting me to get in close.

His strategy appears to have changed too; no longer is he attempting to push my limits or break my spirit, instead he seems to be conducting a serious of experiments: Doing actions and noting my reactions.

He's observing me.

_CLAK!_

it's a easier to see and counter attack; it's almost natural. I'm slowly sinking into my mind as we synchronize our blows with one another.

_CLAK! CLACK!_

_"You're just not paying attention," _

Maybe this is my opportunity to examine him too?

So I do.

_CLK!_

I notice how he strikes, practiced and disciplined, how his stance is innate and his strategies are perfected, how his clothing his lose and his stride is efficient. His untold history seems to come to life before me, each strike tells of a man who has mastered his craft, and a man who has walked the earth long enough to perfect his very being. The sway of his fabric whispers about his origins and his longing to return to them, and his gaze shouts his undying craving to do what it is he's known he is meant to do since first breaths.

_CLACK!_

He pins me to a bolder, my elbows planted against the rocky surface to prevent his weapon from crushing my wind pipe. And our faces meet in the middle of the struggle, my laborious breaths mingling with his collected ones, and I speak my findings.

"You're a soul reaper,"

A smirk appears just as I rush him.

"Is that really all you've figured out?" his voice is even, but I still feel like he's mocking me.

He comes for me, and I let him, allowing him to take this battle to the ground. There we attempt to establish dominance, but neither of us can seem to gain the upper hand. We shove each other down but we both refuse to be bested just yet.

We refuse to submit.

"No... You're not like Ichigo. You're more like Rukia I think, you came from that Soul whatever place," I barely huff out.

I flee, but he won't let me go. Not that easily. He pulls me back into our struggle, and I meet him with the same strength as before, though it's quickly depleting. I have to switch tactics or something, that or push myself beyond my limits.

"I'm not sure why you left, but you miss it. You still dress like one, and act kinda like one. Yet you don't go into spirit form to do it... Are you hiding?"

I'm not sure if I'm close or really far off, all I am sure about is the unadulterated view of Benehime's blade pointing right between my eyes.

"You're smarter than I gave you credit for," He... insults and praises. "You're relatively close." he lowers his weapon to his side.

I sway my hip, placing my hand on it "Anyway-"

"It's time," Urahara perks up before taking off., "Tess! You ready?" he springs up the length of the latter.

I blink.

I'm sleepy...

_yawn!_

I make up the couch in the private sitting room because fuck sleeping on the floor.

_Fuck sleeping on this couch too. _

It's a freaking love seat! while it's cozy at first, blanket tucked around my chin and the comfy structure cradling me, it's very short lived.

Soon the thin layer of cushion isn't enough to stop the wood from biting into my neck and back of my knees. It also doesn't help that the blanket can't wrap around my feet, so the surrounding air sneaks under, chilling my toes and keeping me up.

I can't sleep.

This is stupid.

I was at home, comfortably curled up, butt naked in my bed, about to head off to dreamland. THEN! The smug hatter decides 'No! I'mma burn your stuff if you don't come by so I can beat the stuffing out of you!'

Now, I'm stuck worming around the on this uncomfy dream killer because of him!

Wait a second.

If he's the reason why I'm here, shouldn't his ass be the one feeling the repercussions of this?

. . .

I jog for the exit.

Once within Urahara's bed room, I make sure all my belongings are with me so that he wont be able to hold anything for ransom. When everything is present and accounted for, emeralds look around his door for a way to keep it closed.

Ah!

There's a little latch I can push one into the floor and another into the ceiling.

"Hell yeah, Bed time!" I trade in my pants and t-shirt for just my large pajama shirt, and I'm decent enough to tie a knot between my legs so it's like shorts. I throw the covers out of my way and onto my body.

* * *

**~X~**

* * *

I barely awaken at the sound of a commotion.

And I do mean barely, all the interruption does is get me to roll over and re-situate myself. Then I'm back to sleep.

I'm sure whatever it is they can handle it just fine.

* * *

**~X~**

* * *

In the Morning I awaken with a lightness in my chest. The duvet rises up around me in fluffs of cotton, and I've sunken into it.

The sun breaks through the veil encasing my cloud, and mix of cilantro and peach beckons me from my slumber. Emerald eyes are revealed to the world, and I am ready for the day!

Shuffling to the end of the bed, I get to my feet but they're not reliable. I groan when my thighs and calves ache. All that running and blocking a cane with only flesh and muscle has left my legs worn and my arms throbbing.

I'm sure It'll be fine if I just ignore it...

Putting my pants on, I ponder if I should go look for food or go home...

_Maybe I should look for food AT home?_

That's a good Idea.

I'm glad I had it.

Unlocking the door, I pick up my shopping bag and head out.

Should I get patched up a bit before leaving?

Barely paying attention to the disheveled tuff of blonde hair that emerges from behind the couch, A pang of guilt hits me when I see the no-so-well rested face.

I'm such a jerk.

Look at those tired lines before his eyes!

Sleepy Shiro is such a bad person...

Exhausted greys capture me in their storm.

_yawn!_

"That wasn't very nice," his even tone chastises me. "To think you're heartless enough to lock an old man out his bedroom," even his smile is tired, and yet somehow goofier that usual.

"Sorry... You know that commercial that says 'you're not you when you're hungry'? Well, I'm not me when I'm sleepy," I tap my thumbs together.

Another yawn slurs his words, "That's ok, Tessai, and I were up all night tending to Ichigo anyway so he could go to school without so many bandages raising suspicions," He gets to his feet.

"Speaking of which, Shouldn't you be getting to school? I know you're not planning to skip your last day," he presses pale hands into his back and arches into the palms.

Oh shit!

"What time is it!? I have to go!"

I turn, dropping down into a sprint stance, even though my legs are begging me not to.

And- "Ichigo?" I look up to the red headed tower.

brown eyes bare such intensity and self-loathing.

"...Ichigo?" brown lips frown; he seems to registrar me finally, despite the fact he's been looking into my eyes this entire time.

"Oh, Shiro, what are you doing here?" he inquires, but bewilderment is nowhere to be found in his tone... It's just... empty, or far off in the distance, much like his gaze.

I'll deal with that when we get to class.

"Come on! We can't be late for school! It's the last day, sure, but still!" I take his hand. "We gotta get home and get dressed!"

I take off for our homes. I still don't know what time it is, though since it's summer, and the sun's light hasn't beaten us here; I'm guessing it's like 6?

Good, we have time.

. . .

I feel like I'm dragging dead weight. . .

What's wrong with Ichigo? He isn't protesting or trying to keep up or anything. . .

_"A very important battle is going on right now, and it's inevitable outcome is going to change everything as you know it,"_

I hate it, but the ominous wording echos in my skull, trapped and not going away. I hate vague phrases like that, you can apply them to anything and it'll make the speaker seem brilliant...

_But Smug hatter really __**is **__brilliant.._

I skid to a stop, and Ichigo almost lets himself fall forward. Despite the great distance we've traveled, his gaze is still much further ahead, and I'm tired of trying to keep up with it..

"Hey, Forget school man, are you alright?" White brows furrow.

I don't know why I'm opening this can of worms. I know I'm terrible with emotions, no matter who they belong to.

But something in me calls for what's inside him.

It begs for his anguish, for half of his burden, anything that'll stop his mind from leaving me here outside his walls.

"It's nothing," he lies, and my face snaps into a snarl.

"Hey! I don't give a shit about your bad boy facade. If you don't want to talk about it then fine! Just say that! Don't stand here and lie to my face! What the is wrong with you?" I jab a frustrated digit into his chest.

Ichigo seems to snap to life. His eyes regaining their shine but none of their happiness, and he seems to realize what he's just done.

"Sorry, Shiro. It's just... Rukia was taken," he looks down.

I relax my face. "Well, do you know where to?" I ask, starting us back to walking.

"Back to the soul society,"

I raise a brow, "Isn't that where she came from? So isn't that good?"

"No... She's going to be punished when she gets back because she save me and my family. That's why I have to go save her," Determination rules his words.

Something cracks inside me.

_The _Soul Society? The place that breeds fighters like Urahara? He wants to break into some unknown world where swords men are three times our age and 25 times as experienced? Is he insane? He can't do that! He'll die.

Without question!

I understands that he doesn't know of the blonde's origins or of his prowess, but still. Yes, if Ichigo employs the Smug hatter, he'll have a powerful ally, but the soul society ran _Urahara _ out! So either there's a shit ton of them or a few that are even stronger than _him_.

This is insane...

"Oh..."

Ugly selfishness blossoms in my gut.

Plus, Rukia has been avoiding him for an entire month! Meanwhile myself, Udyu, Sado, _and _Orohime have been here for him, making him laugh and enjoy himself. And here he is wanting to leave us for her? Wanting to go die for her instead of living for us?

It irritates me to my very soul.

But I also know that if he doesn't do it. He wont be the Ichigo I know and love...

"Good Luck,"

I mean it, but not the way I wish I did. I want so badly for him to leave Rukia in the past and to move forward with us. I wish that when I wished him luck it's because I want him to go forth and accomplish what he desires. I wish I wanted what he wanted as much as he does.

But I can't.

I'm disgusting and greedy and am hoping he'll come to his senses before he goes through with this idea.

I can't try to stop him, he'll just end up hating me for it.

And that would be worse.

"Thanks," he smiles the tiniest bit for me.

Making it to our homes, we rush through our morning routines. I make sure to grab my sketchbook for my friends project before heading out.

I hope I-go-chi made it out in time.

The classroom envelops me, Kahi shorts in place and blouse in tip-top shape!

Ready for the day.

The first person I see is Oreo.

"Shi-shiro!" she waves her arms, and I beam at her.

"O-reo!" I wiggle back.

"Shiro! What's going on with your legs and arms! There's so many bruises!" she observes.

What now?

I look down.

How did I not notice?!

All these bruises! Did he really hit me that much and that hard?!

Dude!

"The smug hatter beat me with his cane a few times," I murmur, barely talking to anyone but the air around me.

"Wow, I didn't think you'd be into that Shiro, you're a wild one,"

A redness burns my face as Tatsuki comes from behind me to stand beside Oreo.

Great, now people think I'm into caning...

I mean... I might be.

"Oh look at that! School is starting, we should take our seats." I plant my butt in my chair.

"Oh! Hi Ichigo!" Oreo turns to greet the fellow red head, but he's retreated into himself again.

"Hey... Orohime,"

. . .

I can't help but notice the subtle aura of concern that wafts from Udyu, Oro, and Sado.

I clutch my sketchbook underneath my desk. It's probably best not to do the drawing today... I'd hate for the memory attached to it to be the mental absence of Ichigo and the concern of us three.

A sigh presses pass my brown and pink lips, and I shove the book into my desk.

Welp.

Class creeps by in the background, but I'm just barely able to pick up that no one even mentions Rukia's name all day.

Not even for role call.

It's like she never existed.

And if I'm honest, I kinda wish she hadn't

After school I meet up with Ichigo. We walk home, and we're accompanied by more silence.

All of this for Rukia...

Really?

"Ichigo? Shiro?" We come back to ourselves to regard Orohime. who stands before us.

"Yeah? What is it Orohime?" Ichigo speaks first.

"Where's Rukia?" and we're both shocked. Ichigo pleasantly so, but me not so much.

How could someone like Rukia who abandoned their friendship stick to them so well? When I had to fight for it so valiantly...

It's not fair.

"Why is everyone pretending like she didn't exist?

...

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she's ok over the summer, I promise," Ichigo beams like the sun I know he is.

* * *

**~X~**

* * *

The rest of the way home is quiet again, but the air around him is back to being the breath I live off of.

"So uh... How are you planning to to execute this plan of yours mr. crazy?" I ask. I don't want to talk about it, but maybe he'll be able to at least perfect the dumb thing.

If I'm lucky he'll realize how crazy it is.

"Mr. Hat and clogs has a way to the soul society." I inwardly groan when he mentions the man. Of course the king of the asylum is going to help Ichigo... He continues regardless of my inner disdain. "He wants to help me get my Soul Reaper powers back, and it'll take ten days, then it'll take another seven more to open the gateway. After that I'm going to go in there and kick ass till Rukia is out of danger!"

Ugh...

I love and hate his passion so much.

"Cool.. Do you know how many you'll have to fight?" I peak over at him, but not a sliver of hope has left him.

"It doesn't matter! I'll keep fighting until they let Rukia go! And she's safe! Though and I am hoping to go against her brother once more, he makes me sick to call him her older brother," he growls.

I smile and sigh sadly.

Nothing will dissuade him. Not Logic. Not odds. Not even the fear of death.

He's going to save her.

"Why are you such an amazing person, Ichigo?" I whisper. "This is where we split," I wave.

"Are you coming to watch the fireworks with us in a couple weeks?" he calls after me.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world!" I promise just before I leave ear shot.

Alone again.

He didn't even walk me to my house like he usually does...

Oh well.

My home comes into sight and I almost groan at it. It feels like me and the big ol' place are on the outs lately. I used to love coming home, because at least then I didn't have to be surrounded with people who didn't seem to know I existed.

Now I have to spend the summer in this contraption with no Ichigo I can go down the way and bother...

Getting up to the door I take a look at the seal Rukia left behind. After Uydu mentioned it, I found it the next day without meaning to. It sticks out the like a sour thumb and it's on eye-level with me just besides the door way. When I saw it I just wondered how I hadn't before.

"It's not here anymore," I frown. The seal is missing. It was a simple slip of paper and now there is no such thing... "So they took everything with her, huh?" I shrug and push my door open, heading inside.

If I'm lucky tomorrow will be a little better...

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading Please comment to let me know how you're enjoying the story!**


	9. Unsolved Problems

**A/N: If any of you also read my Naruto story. I'm not uploading it today. Sorry!  
Anyway! I hope you guys enjoy this!**

* * *

**PREVIOUSLY:**

If I'm lucky tomorrow will be a little better...

* * *

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X****~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Unsolved problems**

The next few days I find myself in a bit of a funk. I barely leave my bed, and I find most of my entertainment in text messages from the group and dancing videos on my laptop.

It seems like a fine existence for the time being.

Part of me feels like I should be spending what time I have left with Ichigo with him, but I just feel so upset and annoyed when I think about him and what he plans to do.

"I can't stay in bed all this time, I have things I could be doing," I sit up in my burrito of coziness. Oh my gosh this new velvet comforter is life. "Comfy comforters don't go and get themselves killed..."

Ok I need to stop.

"The anniversary of my channel is coming soon.. and I'm no closer to picking a location! Get your butt up and go looking," I shed my cocoon on my way to the bathroom. "No one likes the character that doesn't shower for days, come on!" I remind myself. I hate when those characters on dramas just says 'fuck all my responsibilities' and decide to be a bump on a log.

I dress in my blacks but this time I add a splash of gold to the mix with the panda print on my shirt. Shorts, fishnets, the usual dress wear for a girl who likes black in the summer.

I think my white hair really adds to my whole look, I don't know why I never dyed it before.

I'm lying, I know I didn't dye it before hand because It's against the rules at school.

"Then my hair changes for supernatural reason, I go missing from school for a week, and no one speaks a peep about it... Not a single teacher seemed to notice me missing or my hair change,"

What was I expecting I guess.

I travel to the outskirts of Karakura town, If I want a rural area with hints of civilization, it should be here, right?

I look to the sun. I got out at like 11ish, so one can imagine it's some time in the afternoon now.

"Where can the perfect place be?" look around, but I'm not finding much of anything. I found a place with a well, but I don't like wells very much. It's something about their aesthetic that doesn't appeal to me.

I search and search but the line between town and forest seems to be more fine than I expected.

That's annoying...

"Am I going to have to go straight forest then?" I ask the trees, but the thought of it makes me grimace. I don't want to do that...

"Maybe I can transfer from on to the other?"

That idea doesn't make me any happier.

This is annoying.

Not just this! Everything damnit!

"This is stupid! Everything is stupid! That tree is stupid! That rock is stupid! Ichigo is stupid! Rukia is stupid! Urahara is especially stupid! AND I'M THE DUMBEST OF THEM ALL!" I scream, glaring at the heavens above me, daring them to prove me wrong! To punish my lies! But they can't! Because every got-damn thing I said was true!

"Fuck this, I'm going back home," I accept defeat with agitated grace.

On my way back, the sun hides behind the horizon, leaving me in the dark.

Man, I must have been out here longer than I thought... If it's dark it has to be at least like eight or nine...

"Whatever," I huff.

The summer heat cools to a tolerable temperature, and around me fire flies blink to life. The sight brings with it a magic strong enough to break up my attitude. "Hey little guys," I smile at them.

!

The air shifts, and I look around for its cause.

"Oh shit!" I jump when a black cat pounces upon my shoulders. Calming myself I take in the furry hitchhiker.

"You scared me..." I whisper. "Wait a second, you're Yoruichi," I pronounce. I only saw the kitten once, but there's something about the furry little thing that is distinctive.

Maybe it's the gold eyes.

Most cats have the color and nothing else, but this one has visible scleroses.

"What brings you way out yonder? Lost maybe? Out for a good hunt?" I continue walking.

"It doesn't matter, I like cats, so we can hang as long as you're willing to hear me rant about stupid stuff," I warn. The little predator stays put, coping a squat on one of my shoulders and I giggle.

"Thanks for staying man, I appreciate it. So check it," I start, barely registering the man running up behind me. I swipe the little buddy into my arms.

"Gimme your shit lady!-" I don't know for sure what he said, I just remember nailing him with a kick and continuing on my way.

"Sorry, disturbances, but like, how do people deal with emotions all their lives? Up until recent I've only had to deal with how I feel about myself, and I was cool with that, I was cool with me..." I make sure the black fluff is comfy in my arms, and look both ways before crossing the street. Even though it doesn't matter, I already died.

"But when other people come into your life, and you don't get to pick how they make you feel and that's weird to me. Like, shouldn't I choose that? It's happening to me! Uryu says it's normal and that I should do what happens naturally, but what if I'm naturally a terrible person, and I never noticed because no one's ever talked to me long enough?" I groan.

What is wrong with me. I'm ranting to a cat.

"Sorry, I'm just scared... People seem to get so angry with each other and stop talking forever over the smallest things in dramas. Just liking the same boy can make two girls hate each other, even if they were friend for so long... I know I'm going based off TV, but that's all I have! It's all so new and I feel so stupid all the time and left behind."

I sigh.

_RwooOAAH!_

"Oh crap... did you hear that? I'm pretty sure that's a hallow... With Ichigo's powers gone I should be careful... It's very possible it might come for us. If I run really fast will you get scared and scratch me?" I ask, the furry little thing bumps her head against my breasts.

"Ok, I'm trusting you. The hallow sounds like it's, if I have to guess, 2 and a half football fields away," I note, dropping down into my runner's start pose before biting into the dirt with my feet.

_RwwwOOOOAAAH!_

"Fuck that one is a bit closer, but it's on the other side, can we get past in time? Or should I find another path.

It's best not to risk it.

_Skiiiiiiiid!_

I Slide around the corner.

"To wrap up the rant my friend Ichigo is going to go save this Rukia chick from a society of swordsmen and I'm super worried but I can't say anything cause he'll hate me and still go off to die, so if he's going to do it anyway, we might as well be friends till the very end."

Ok thats an equal 2 football fields between both hollow.

I got this.

_Rwoooooaaaah!_

_Fuck me!_

That one is dead ahead...

"Ready for a risky move little one?" I prep my companion, tensing my thighs and increasing the power of my stride.

The Hallow comes into sight, but it's clearly a stupid one who hasn't gotten any consciousness to it yet.

good, that means when I get to the shop It probably wont follow, right?

I speed forward, it's mask is flatter that some.

"Here we go!" I jette onto that bitches head and pounce into the night air.

. . .

The night seems to hold itself for a blessed moment of silence. No passing cars, no opening or closing of doors, no sound.

...

The wind rushes past my descending form and I unravel from around Yoruichi, landing with as much grace as any dancer and taking off once more.

"Ok, so my sense of direction can be a little off sometimes, I'm kind of just feeling this out little buddy, so let's hope I'm right"

According to my senses the shop should be just around this corner.

I gather dirt besides my sliding feet, and use it to kick off toward the barely lit abode.

_Almost there!_

_CRKKKHH_

I gasp for my air but it shuns me, leaving me flailing for something, anything.

I didn't hear the bigger fry using the wimp for cover, but it saw me.

It breaks through the dirt digging its disproportionate fingers underneath to encase me.

Crap!

Where's Yoruichi? She's not still below me is she?

"Y...Yoru.." I use the last of my breaths to call for her. I need to make sure she's ok. She's Urahara's best friend! I'd never forgive myself if I took that from him.

"Y...Yoru...ichi," even I can't hear myself speaking. I'm not even sure if I said anything.

The beast lifts me, and I use the time to ignore how he squeezes my soul out my body like the flesh is an unwanted shell and focus on locating the black cat. I don't see her in the space where I once occupied.

Good.. Good... she got away.

_Drip! Drip!_

_Ignore it! Focusing on the pain wont help. _

My body has fallen static below me, and I try to think of a way to get attention or get away.

_**RWOOAH!**_

The screech blares in my ear, but it's muffled by the blood clogging it.

I can hear the other ones drawing closer.

Shit, they were a pack weren't they? They were looking for me the whole time.

I try to pry the grotesque green claws from my flesh. But they only burrow deeper.

A boiling hotness swells in my gut from my wounds, but it doesn't bleed out of me like my blood. No, it stays and spreads throughout my form and If I had the air I'd cry out in pain. It feels like something is burning me from the inside! It starts to leak from me, burning my persistent palms, and I'm almost certain I see a steam birthed from the contact between my hands and the creature.

There's the lightest of hisses from the monster holding me, but nothing else as the rest of the pack arrives.

. . .!

A ringing I had been ignoring pronounces itself, blurring the conversation of the Hallow around me and my vision soon follows suit.

_**!**_

The hallow around me disintegrates to a nothing, and I fall, my placement causing my soul to crash back into my body, but the pain isn't leaving me. It burrows into me, carving out my insides and blood.

Oh wait!

Oh shit! Is that Yoruichi!

A black blur sniffs at my being, coming close enough for me to confirm the feline's identity.

"Oh... Thank gosh," I gasp. "I was so worried. I'm glad... You're ok," I close my eyes, a peace running over me. Darkness is allowed to accept me and I fade.

"You're not a bad person Shiro, and certainly not a bad friend," a man says, but I'm certain I don't know the voice.

...

..

.

.

.

.

Emerald eyes snap open.

Everything rushes into my memories as soon as I'm awake. I groan, not ready to try and sit up. I don't want to deal with the mess my body probably is right now... If I have to guess I'm in a guess room at the shop right?

Wrong.

Around me are the white walls and lavender ceiling of my own room.

_What?_

I roll over onto my back.

...

No pain.

I sit up slowly. Each inch I gain without a regret surprises me.

I look around.

Impossible... My velvet comforter surrounds me, but didn't I leave it on the floor earlier?

I awaken my laptop besides me and it shows me the tab I left it on and a time of 4:32am.

"It's just Impossible," I squint brown eyelids, my white eyelashes barricading my vision.

I peek into my shirt, but not a single bruise greets me. Not a one. I look at my shirt and find it to be the pajama one I was wearing before I left earlier.

...I did leave didn't I?

I sniff under my arms. I smell terrible... but I did do all that running..

"Maybe it was a dream?" I ask the walls.

The more I scrutinize everything, the more such a conclusion seems likely. I mean, come on, what are the odds that, out of all the strays, I ran into Yoruichi? Plus! The hallow were suddenly vanquished without rhyme or reason! I certainly didn't do it...

And if that craziness was real, then why didn't Urahara or Tessai or someone come out to help me?

Too many flaws...

I get up.

Even my legs feel fine, and I was pushing it in my dream. Heading over to the bathroom, I cut off the light, but not before seeing the bloody black and gold panda shirt in the dirty clothes hamper.

...

My throat dries up, and swallowing does little to quench the internal desert.

Why?

Why get every detail right down to my clothes and leave this?

Why fuck with me like that?

Why make me doubt everything?

My heart booms in my ears.

"Go to sleep.. You're safe and ok now, isn't that all that matter? Deal with it tomorrow," I tell my nerves, and they put away their excitement for the next day. I turn back to my bed and go back to my slumber.

* * *

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X****~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

* * *

Morning greets me and my questions warmly.

I get up and head over to the dirty clothes again, but of course the stupid shirt is gone now...

I go through my drawers in search for it and imagine my surprise when I find the article completely intact.

Now what?

Do I drop it? Or do I search harder?

The only question I really have is 'why?'.

But who do I even go to with my inquires? The only person there was the cat...

"For now we drop it," I decide, pressing my fingers into my eyelids.

Getting up, I bathe and dress myself, this time in a white shirt with a silver wolf on it.

I dunno, I'm feeling the animals lately.

I make my way to the shop for reasons uncertain to me. Am I looking for another training session? I've missed a few now, so I mean, I don't know.

I approach the green wood structure, and it stands tall and undisturbed.

I look to a few feet away where I was attacked last night, but of course there isn't the slightest hint of my struggle with life.

_Come on, you said you'd drop it._

I tear myself away and into the shop.

"Hey! Mad hatter! You wanna beat me up again!?" I shout through the doorway, but my words search the room and return to me unanswered.

Where is everyone?

"Tessai? Ururu? Jinta?" I go through each room and find nothing.

Maybe there's a group training session downstairs?

They seem like they're cute enough to do something that adorable.

I open the hatch and the distant clashes of battle greet my ears. I take up a hold on the latter before sliding down.

_thk thk!_

My feet take their stance and I go walking.

_FWOOOSH!_

I dive out the way, barely missing a slice of red that zooms past me. I should make almost dying my favorite thing to do, then, at the very least, I could enjoy the heck out of my life. I sprint towards the blast's direction. I find them deep inside the grounds, battling it out. Ichigo vs. Urahara.

"Oh look it's the weird lady!" Aw Jinta.. such a lovely turd that one...

"That's not very nice jinta.." Ururu tries to help, her meek protest is quickly drowned out by the boy's frustrations.

"Oh! hello Ms. Bokuso-chi! It's a pleasant surprise for you to drop by! Are you here for your training?" Tessai greets me, and everything about him brings me happiness. He's just so nice.

"Yeah, I know I haven't been by lately, Do you think the Mad hatter can see me?" I tilt my head, curly white curtain draping off the side of it.

"It's difficult to be certain, but I'll ask, though he promised these days to Ichigo," he prepares me for the rejection.

"HEY BOSS! MS. BOKUSO-CHI WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU'LL HAVE TIME FOR HER!"

My grin doubles in size.

I could have just done that if that's all he was going to do, but it's still hilarious to see it play out.

"Wha? Shiro's here?" I-go-chi slides to a stop and our eyes meet long enough for me to wave at him.

"hello!" I round my syllables.

"Ah! Shiro, When you didn't show up for your last sessions I thought you found out I would be putting your training on hold," the streak of green shoots past me, honing in on the red head.

Oh man!

"Whoa! Ichigo is a soul reaper already? I thought he said it would take 10 days!" I blink in amaze.

"Yeah, it was supposed to, but it happened faster than we thought," Jinta explains.

Ichigo is so cool.

"Hey!" I glare at the audience. "Why didn't you guys ever watch when I was training," I raise a brow, and Ururu and Tessai gain a sheepish aura.

"Cause your sessions are boring! Plus the boss doesn't get nearly as into as he is now! look at him!" Jinta speaks above the silence.

I allow my gaze to follow the blonde, he's smiling, but it's wider than usual, happier than usual. He shows the true strength of Benehime more than once and each time he gains a bit more life in those grey eyes.

I feel like he's tried to do this with me, but it didn't work. He tried to train me like a soul reaper, but I am not one.

"Yeah, I guess you're right..." I cross my arms. It's hard to argue with facts. Training Ichigo is more of a privilege, while I'm more an experiment, a task. An obligation.

Ow.

I just hurt my own feelings.

I shake all that from my head. I really need to stop making everything about me.

Right now is about Ichigo.

* * *

**~X~**

* * *

"So... you all are leaving?" I twirl my fingers around themselves, head bowed and spirits low.

Before me, Ichigo, Sado, Orohime, Ishida, and Yoruichi pause before the unopened gate way to the soul society. I only curled deeper into myself when everyone, even Kisuke and Tessai, turn to me.

It bothers me, that knowing look in Kisuke's eyes.

"Shiro, I understand you want to save Rukia too, but you can't." Ichigo tells me, and his assumption of my worries kills me from the inside because I don't want to save Rukia. I don't want _them_ to save Rukia. I've never had friends all my life, I don't remember my family, and I'm sick and tired of being alone. Now the only friends I've ever had are leaving to fight an entire organization of killers that have been trained for longer than I've been alive.

And for what?

A girl who I barely know or interacted with.

I know they've known her far longer, even longer than they've known me, but I don't see this from their perspective. I don't want to. Because if I do, I'll see the love they feel her. The dedication, the loyalty.

Then I'll be ok with losing them.

And I don't want to be ok with that.

I peek up into the eyes of determined brown that belong to my first friend, Ichigo Kurosaki, and it hurts that he sees a person as loyal as him before his sturdy form, when really I'm just a piece of selfish shit.

. . .

"Good luck..." I force out after a minute of digging my nails into the flesh of my thighs.

I have to try. Try what, I'm not sure. Maybe I have to try loyalty, or taking a risk, or sharing, or some other sentimental shit like that.

Whatever it is. I have to try. At least long enough for them to leave, because by then, it wont matter what I feel or think.

"Shiro,"

Orohime approaches me, and I barely see her reach for my hand, but I yank back like she's a nearing flame, holding the hand she seemed to choose behind me so that she might not reach it.

She looks hurt for a second, but I can't let her show me love. If she does, I wont let her go. I wont let any of them go, and I have to.

But I also can't stand that look in her face. . .

. . .

I fling my body against her with enough strength that she almost falls back, I catch her in my arms. I hug her low, wrapping my limbs below the bend of her elbow, and I squeeze her tight.

It's an awkward position, but I assume it because it stops her from hugging me back, if she can't bend her arms, she can't hug back.

_clack!claCK! cLACK!CLACK!_

The others, Ichigo, Sado, and Ishida, they've circled us and they stand there, watching my pathetic show of affection that I refuse to let be reciprocated.

But then one of them, Ichigo I think, steps forward, and that commences the shrinking of the space between them and us.

No! They're going to touch me!

I rip from Oro like a cat sprayed with water, and the sudden movement makes them back the fuck off. I then speed through them: Ishida first, then Sado, and lastly Ichigo. I hug them all in that silly way, and each one lasts for as long as no one moves.

But they keep moving.

As I move from person to person, they keep trying to get closer and closer, so I dash between them, I have to finish quick, before there aren't any exits left, because they stopped backing off after Orohime.

Don't they get it!?

Don't they understand I can't take anymore of their love?!

It would kill me. . .

...

Did they want to kill me?

I snatch myself from ichigo when they close in again, and I dash for the exit by Ichigo's side, but he's fast. He catches my hand and takes me back. I had been planning to run so fast that the tug threw me completely off balance, and I fall back into his awaiting embrace.

Then Oreo joins, and Sad-doe... and Ishi-ishi.

Fu_ck_.

I panic, putting up walls as fast as I can to block any affection they wish to give me, but there's more of them than there are me, and they tear them down too fast for me to make process.

Shit.

No! I can't just... I have to... why wont...

I feel it, my love for them welling in my chest, but I shove it down. I push it down deep inside of me, all the way into my toes.

There that should help...

But my friends are _stubborn_.

They squeeze, and I feel those feelings lift.

"no" my voice is meek but panicked.

Tighter. I feel it in my legs making them as weak as jelly.

"Stop," I beg, Why would they want to do this? Why would they want to leave me in such a terrible state of complicated emotions.

Tighter. I feet it in my gut and it aches.

"Please..." I've resorted to begging, because I can't deal with all the knots of friendship they're tying around me, if they leave me with all this rope, I'm going to hang myself.

"...please..."

Tighter. It's back in my chest, accentuating the pounds of my heart.

Why are they doing this?

"Just..." I can't finish the phrase in one go, I'm too pathetic.

Tighter. I choke on it in my throat.

Why?

"Go..." I finish.

Tighter. It doesn't come out my mouth in the form of an anguish filled howl that belongs to the abandoned wolf.

No, it floods me like an ocean, filling me to the brim till it pours out my eyes.

And I can't swim.

I drown in it.

They let me go, but they were the only thing holding me up.

So I crumble.

I sink to my knees before them, completely at their mercy, and their presence is like a guillotine.

...

My cranium falls to the floor like they've chopped it off...

In a stupid attempt to save face, I cover mine with my hands.

"Are you all ready to leave now? I can only keep this portal open for a short while," Urahara speaks up.

"Yeah, we're ready," Ichigo states, leaving my executed form be, unperturbed by the deed he and friends have done.

I hear the portal open, and then-

"See you later, Shiro!"

Oreo...

"Take care... Shiro,"

Ishi ishi.

"I'll... be back,"

Saddoe..

"We'll bring Rukia back, Shiro,"

I-go-chi...

**. . . !**

The portal closes.

"Don't... go..."

A breath rattles past my lips.

I can't! I can't break. Not here, not in public.

"Ok, Thanks for all your help, I'm going to head home, have a good night," I hold it all back and force the words forward, stumbling over my limbs to get up.

"Take care," I sprint into the distance, springing past the entrance and through the warms streets.

"!" The wails leave me before I even know they're there. They reach for the skies for answers that don't exist and I run. I try to keep my sight as clear as possible but no matter how fast I claw them out my eyes they come back.

It was one thing when it was just Ichigo, but.. all of them?

A stupid little laugh bursts through the sobs.

What did I expect? Of course they chose her of me.

No one wants me. They never did.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please Comment!**


	10. Meaning

**Previously: **

It was one thing when it was just Ichigo, but.. all of them?

A stupid little laugh bursts through the sobs.

What did I expect? Of course they chose her of me.

No one wants me. They never did.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~****X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~****X~X**

**Chapter 10: Meaning**

Where is my sketchbook?

Not the larger one, that one is hard to miss; I'm looking for the standard sized one that I sometimes bring to-

Oh wait, I remember now, I brought it to school cause I wanted to draw the group, but Rukia had just gone missing so Ichigo was all moody... and I tucked the book in my desk to cover up my folly.

Great, so I'm going to have to go all the way up to the school? Ugh... where are my shorts and tank top... and I guess I'll where thigh socks instead of fishnets today, despite the heat.

I step into my shoes on my way out the door, and my gosh it's hot!

Ok, maybe thigh socks were a mistake...Should I change?

No, it wont take me long to get there and back.

I head for the school, walking with large strides because I want to get there and back as fast as possible.

Phew! Made it!

Now... with as hot as its been lately, someone was bound to leave a window open on their shift... Well if they did, it's not on the front side of the building, though that's to be expected, if they opened a window on the front side, they'd be more likely to see it open on their way off the campus.

Oh~! But there is a window open on the side of the building, though it's a level higher than I need to be, but whatever. I hop up into the oversize oven. Oh man... the heat really sits in this place when the air isn't on. It feels like I'm breathing in the low flames of a fire; It forces me to breathe through my mouth.

Ok, now I really need to hurry up, making my way down the steps and through the hall, and for the first time, I understand why they set horror movies inside of schools. Even in the daylight, it's creepy, probably significantly less creepy than it would be at night, but, man, the way your hushed steps boom down the corridor before rushing back at you. That shit stops your heart.

And don't get me started on how the lockers mess with your paranoia. They're so tall that it wouldn't be so impossible that someone was hiding in them, lurking, waiting for you to pass by all innocently.

BEFORE THEY GET YA!

Oh, and did I mention the souls?

Yeah, being able to see those mofos don't help, because there are plenty of them who are just lounging around, more so than you see during the school year. I'm assuming they like the quiet, because when I come unwillingly stomping down the halls, they scatter, hiding inside the freaky lockers I mentioned.

Yeah, nope.

Never doing this again.

I'd turn around right now if I wasn't so close to getting what I needed already.

I find my home room and enter its threshold and jerk to a halt.

I get this weird pang in my chest as I map out mine and my friend's seating arrangements. It's so odd, the way my cheeks bunch up in the most jovial smile, and my heart feels like a dam was just removed from it. It flows with nostalgia, pumping fond memories into my veins until they replace my blood, and I survive off of them.

But that wears off fast.

Suddenly I feel horrible, a worry manifests itself in the form of a sun, and questions of their current whereabouts and status of living are like rays of heat, and they dry up my new found source of life to a powder, and I feel like I'm dying.

Holy shit, is this what it feels like to miss someone?

Does everyone feel that way?

Do my friends feel that way about me?

Oh man, I have friends!

That simple fact fills me with enough life to bounce on over to my desk, and pull out my sketchbook with minimal rummaging.

Nice! Now I can... is there someone outside?

I pause in my short rejoice as I look out the window... I'm pretty sure there's someone out there...

I approach the glass. If it's someone that can get me in trouble, then I'll just hop out my entrance and disappear like the freaking gingerbread man. I'm just really curious.

At first, the figure is nothing more than heat distorted blackness, but the closer they get, the more form and shape they take. Until, finally, I can see it's...

"Smug hatter?" I frown. That can't be right, but that all green fashion can't be mistaken.

He's looking straight ahead with a hand securing his hat and the other swinging that cane of his all leisure like. What is he doing here? I've never seen him outside of the shop, much less at school.

And how is he still wearing all those layers in this heat!?

As I continue gawking at the males ability to stay consistent in clothing, I notice him tilt is head up; those mysterious dark eyes snap to mine like a magnet close to its opposite, and, oddly enough, I somehow feel my body warm up and my weight beginning to shift from leg to leg.

Then, he levels his gaze with the school entrance in front of him and continues on his way.

Does...Does he know I'm here?

This is all confusing, I have to go talk to him.

I remove him from my gaze in favor of the locking mechanism above the window, and I undo it before jumping down below.

And, of freakin' course, he's suddenly no where to be found.

But he was definitely here!

I try the entrance, and tugging on the heavy chain and padlock does two things: 1. it burns the hell out me, and 2. lets me know he didn't go in this way.

So I dash about, checking the perimeter for the blonde, but I can't find him. And I checked everywhere!

I checked all the classrooms, the back of the school, the front of the school, the lockers, I even checked the garbage cans and the dumpster.

Nothing...

Maybe I imagined it?

I mean, that would make sense, in this heat, there's no way he's walking around in all those robes, that little fan of his would do him no good... And it doesn't make sense that he'd even be here...But, if I did make it up, why would I hallucinate him of all people?

You know what? Screw it! I'll just go visit the shop and ask the man.

...

Oh, but what if he thinks I'm being weird and needy?

_Plus the shop is pretty far... I'll die before I'd get there... _

While having this inward discussion, I head for the campus' edge, and just when I'm about the step onto the sidewalk, I _THUD! _bump into this...this thing and fall onto my tush.

"Ow..." I rub my nose. Looking up, I don't see anything. Though when I walked into it, the air ripples with golden light.

Hmmm... very curious.

I stand onto my feet and lay my hands against the barrier. I'm not really looking for anything, I just kind of want to feel it. It's all slick and smooth like fiber glass, and it's cool to the touch.

Speaking of cool... I really hope I can break this thing down or that there's an exit somewhere, because I'll bake if I don't...

Thigh socks, really weren't a good Idea.

"Well... It could be worse..." I remind myself.

_RWAAAAUUH!_

I will never say that phrase again.

Now I'm stuck in the heat and there's a hollow mother fucker that would love to gobble me up.

I push away from the invisible wall and head back for the window I opened.

The hollow sounds like it's out here with me, so I'm going to head inside.

As I run for the building, I watch the ground teeter from side to side, and every time I blink, I swear it stays dark for longer than it should.

Fuck.

Is this... Is this the heat getting to me?

_thud!_

I collapse on the ground.

Crap, looking at my arm now, I see it's soaked in my sweat, and goosebumps have begun to rise upon them.

Sh-it. I should have been paying attention!

"Well, jussst going to lay there and let me eat you?" A large snake of black ink squirms around the corner. "How obedient." It praises me.

I pull my arms to me and press them hard into the dirt, but they punish me for denying my fate, cramping up and draining my energy. I'm weakened to the point of fighting for every breath, but I'm certain that I wont have to for much longer.

This isn't good.

But that's obvious, isn't it?

"H...help," I try, but it's too weak to get attention and unreachable if it does.

Oh man... I feel like I'm going to throw up...

"Don't worry, I'll help you" the hollow takes me up by my midsection and flings me into the side of the building.

_CRACK!_

FuCK! that didn't sound or feel good.

But the beast doesn't care, it feeds off my anguish and terror like a gluttonous child, so he does it again.

_CRASH!_

and again

_SLAM!_

and again

_BAM!_

I'm not sure if each throw is harder, of if my body is just being worn down to nothing, but I can't do anything. That extra strength isn't shit when its been ripped from you by the solar body you once worshiped.

_THUD!_

And all the speed in the world doesn't matter if your legs hate you enough to refuse you use.

_CRASH!_

This time, he's flung me into the shaded walk way. I know this isn't the time, and I don't have much left, but I can't help but remember that one time I cleared the railing of this walkway just so I could get enough strength to tackle Sado.

_DUH!DUH!DUH!DUH!_

Multiple walls shatter, breaking or bruising a bone with their demise, and it keeps my mind off the pain when I remember the times I sat here trying to learn how to sew from Udyu.

_SLAM! _

My bones have snapped like celery sticks from all the abuse, and I didn't even know the human body had this much blood in it.

But I've accepted it.

A lot easier than I thought I would. I guess it helps that I couldn't fight if I wanted to.

As I'm tossed around, I seem to be having my life flash before my eyes , but it shows me the times I spend with them, which is good.

I didn't really love my life before then.

But it gets me thinking.

I'm being brought closer and closer to my end, and all I can think about are the ones that I love the most.

But where are they right now?

Off dying for someone who, I'll admit, is worth more than me. But... why didn't they think about me?

At all.

They knew I couldn't live without them. Knew I loved them so much yet not single one could stay behind?

They _all_ had to go die?

And don't give me that bullshit that knew they'd come back, because they **don't.**

They don't know shit!

They know nothing of the constant pain that is birthed of unrivaled yearning for another's touch. Not a thing about the wails of loneliness you cry every night you wake for a taunting dream. Or a damn thing about the lengths you go to get someone, anyone to at least remember your face. They have always had friends. All they had to do was be nice to this person, fight another, fight for someone else.

But those things didn't work for me!

If I gave till I had nothing I was forgotten

If I lashed out for attention I was ignored.

And if I stood up for the rights of others I was forsaken.

No matter what I did I couldn't make a friend. Not even a bad one.

They do not know this.

And they never will...

Because they decided to die together.

While I'm left to die **alone.**

Always alone!

I'm. Tired of it.

It seems the hollow worm has grown tired as well, tired of my lack of struggle, tired of my swallowed screams. Tired of my life.

So he wraps his tail around me once more, and drags me to its face, probably hoping to see the same hopeless tragedy upon my features, but it's gone.

I'm no longer sad or accepting; I'm _pissed_. And the inhuman contort of my bloody face lets him know that.

And it hesitates.

Despite my broken flesh and depleted strength. The beast _hesitates_.

And that moment of weakness...

Is a mistake.

_TH-_**THUMP**_**!**_

I glare into those pathetic glimmers it calls eyes, and suddenly feel like I can see everything.

I lash out, clawing into the pitiful thing's flesh and acquainting myself it the taste. I take large bites and spit them out because I don't want that shit, and I break the being into two entities.

The lively half retreats, unable to return to its world to heal, it hides around the corner from my sight, but I keep the other half. The tail falls limp around my ankles, and I step out of it like it's dress, and I wait.

I don't go after it.

I don't look for away out.

I. Fucking. Wait.

No need to rush. It's trapped in here with me, and if it wants to eat me, then it will have to survive my own dinning on its flesh.

I hear something...

It's in the deepest parts of my mind; it's music.

I've never heard it before, but it blares in my ears like I'm wearing headphones and the beat is fast and strong like a frightened heart. I'm commanded to sway my hips, and I do, letting them knock back and forth while my head bobs along. I want to get more into the song, but the little leech pounces for me from behind.

Pathetic.

I heard it a mile away.

The music consumes me just as my prey 'attacks'. The beat is harsh, but demands fluidity in return.I dance around him, not metaphorically, I literally dance. Each dodge corresponds with a coincident collapse, arch, or bend in my artistic display. Every attack of my own is a graceful rise of the leg or a powerful thrust of the hip.

As he returns to me from the crumbled crevice of the school wall, I'm completely absorbed in my choreography.

_STOMP! STOMP!_

The moves are powerful, but fluid.

_STOMP! TAP!_

Despite the freshness of the dance, I feel like I was practicing this in the womb.

_TAP! TAP! STOMP!_

Now!

I halt in a pose that curls a raised leg and stricken my bent arms. The abruptness causing my prey to be cautious, so he too stops.

Then, from nonexistent ashes, five more hollow raise from the dirt, and with me, they complete a circle around the hunted. But these few are strange: their masks are nothing out of the ordinary, but their bodies are fabricated of bright green light, and the holes in their chests are shaped like hearts with a line going through them.

"What?!" My prey seems just as confused by their appearance as I do, but I'm far less frightened.

I curl my lip in a snarl. I don't care how many show up or what the hell they look like. I **dare** them to approach me. Dare them to defy my will, to dethrone me, to go against my wishes.

But no one takes the opportunity.

To my surprise, the five strange ones are humbled by my display of dominance, and curl to their knees before me.

They bow... to me.

"Leave nothing left," I look up at the target beneath my furrowed brow.

And they obey, pouncing the pitiful snake and tearing at him till he's reduce to the nothing he amounts to.

"Now leave," I shoo them, and they bow once more before their departure, leaving me to stand the same way I was born: Alone.

. . .

. . .

_CLAP!_

It happens once, before continuing slowly. It approaches, but I have my ears flatten against my head until the source is revealed to be none other than the Smug hatter himself.

Of course he put this together.

"Why?" I demand, tilting my head. I'm not too upset anymore, I seem to have gotten it all out of my system after the dancing, the clawing, and the massacre.

"Had to find out if my hunch was right," he only shows me his eyes. "Looks good, so you are Nekomata after all, Shiro Bokuso-chi,"

I revolt at the term, "Are you calling me a demon?"

"I am," He pulls something from beneath his arms, "Well, half of one, anyway," he flings the object at me, "Take a look,"

I catch it. It's a mirror...and I have cat ears and fangs and bows I was wearing on those cat ears... Huh, my eyes have gotten cat like too... No wonder I can see so well.

What the heck?

Then I notice that there's this flowy black and white furisode kimono with purple flowers on me. What the? Dude! I'm wearing the obi too! And the obigage! _And_ the Obijime! Though I'm not wearing the nagajuban...

How did I not notice?

I look down to see it is definitely more flowy at the bottom than it should be, but I don't mind...

"So...I'm...?" I don't finish it, not sure if I'm happy with the sentence's outcome.

I'm not.

"No..no! I can't be some ugly demon! Especially not a Nekomata! That's a legend about mistreated house cats that get older and their tails split... I'm a human girl, so how could I be one!?" I refuse... I can't be a demon... I was already strange enough!

"Come now, Shiro, you're a smart girl." Urahara coaxes.

Well... Supposedly Nekomata had the ability to appear as old women, even if they are cats... Could one of those have mated with a human? Shit.

It would even make sense as to how I used to be blind to spirits. They start off as regular cats, but as their mistreated, their tail splits, and when they die they exact revenge. That's what happen to me... except!

"But I don't have a tail to split!" I challenge his logic, there, that proves I'm fine! I'm not a demon.

"Didn't you mention that you had a solid black-line as a birthmark... and that it recently gained a split towards the end," He pierces me with those sharp eyes, and I feel like he's tearing me down, starting with my protective walls.

"But... I'm not old! I'm only 15!" I shout at him, trying to dissuade his charge, but it doesn't work.

"That's pretty old for a cat..." he states, crumbling my first line of defense with just his voice. He steps forward into his newly conquered territory.

"But I'm only hostile towards hollows... not humans,"

"It was the hollows that finally killed you, had it been that crash, you would be," He advances.

No, If he gets too close... he's going to break me.

"Then... why did my hair turn white?" I need something. Anything.

"The ones with white tail curse the best," he draws nearer, now he's right in front of me, and I crumble in defeat. I sit on my heels, completely at his mercy.

Will he chop my head off?

"But... I was never mistreated," I mumble.

"Physically, no, but are you telling me that being forgotten isn't torture?" his words are like a sword he raises, no doubt aiming for my neck, "While beatings damage a person, they are a sign of hate, which is still a very strong emotion, just as love is a strong emotion. Hate, is not the opposite of love. Apathy is. The absence of all feeling. No way hates you, and no one loves you. They just don't care about you,"

_CracK!_

Something breaks inside me. He spares my head, but he crushes my heart in its place, and I clench its resting grounds with such regret. This...this pain. I feel so terrible. I feel like this isn't worth it. That nothing is worth it.

That I'm not worth it.

"But,"

I look up through the salt of my tears.

_SNAP!_

He shuts his fan and puts it away.

"It's not your fault, you were born with a genetic make up meant to ward people off," He offers his hand to my fallen form. Hesitant, I take it.

"Ichigo saw this, and decided to look past it and be your friend" he raises me from my ashes with a smile upon his lips."They all did," He looks down at me, patching my heart without even touching it.

Something new blossoms in me.

I think... I'm ready to accept it.

"So I'm really a Nekomata?" I smile at him, and his smile becomes more true.

"Yup! Complete with ears and tail," He pinches the pointy listeners and shows me the furry noodle. Whoa, I have a tail too? It's even split like the legends say, and its white to match it all.

I hadn't noticed...

I should really pay more attention.

"You can even raise allies of your enemy from the dead by dancing! It's all very exciting really!" the blonde boasts, and it takes me a second to connect what he says to how I defeated the hollow.

So I don't just summon hollow? It's based on the person I'm against.

"Ready to train before I send you off to death with the rest of your friends~?" I perk at the comment.

"Why did you say that all happy like! and what's with that creepy smile! Stay away from me!" I freak, hiding from the shop keeper.

"Oh don't be that way, come on, lets get you back into you body!" he beams, just as doltishly pleased with everything.

Wait... what?

"My body? But I never left..." I frown as the older male turns to walk towards the shaded walkway.

"You got so hopeless that you buried yourself so deep in your mind. You didn't even notice when you got knocked out of your body." He stops before the rubble my flung form created, and points to the limp hand poking out from beneath it all with his cane.

Disturbing.

A shiver rushes up my spine as I dive into the cement to emerge like a zombie.

"Ow..."

My soul may have healed up after the upgrade, but my body was fu-_ck_ed.

"Don't do it again," The hatter speaks, but there's no indication he does. He doesn't look back at me or pause in his stride.

All I have is my ears as evidence.

Don't do what again?

_Oh! Don't lose hope again!_

I beam as I scamper to my feet to follow.

"Wait up! ow. I'm right, ow, behind you! Ow..." I limp after him, but he doesn't slow down.

If anything, he speeds up.

Jackass!

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~****X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~****X~X**

**Please comment!**


	11. How she is

**A/N: Here's another Chapter! Though late. Thank you anon for my first review!**

* * *

**Previously:**

"Wait up! ow. I'm right, ow, behind you! Ow..." I limp after him, but he doesn't slow down.

If anything, he speeds up.

That dick!

* * *

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~****X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X**

* * *

**Chapter 11: How she is**

Urahara draws benehime against me, ready to learn and teach as much as he can before it's my turn to enter the lion's den.

He stands static, but the tightness in his muscles is unbecoming of this occasion. This should be exciting! We're going to figure out what my Nekomata form is capable of! What I am capable of!

We should greet the task with wide arms and bright smiles, not whatever it is he's doing...I barely notice my tail betray the secrecy of my thoughts with its mischievous sway.

He just looks so serious.

_step._

I can almost see him activate his every fighter's instinct, that is, if his eyes aren't lying to me. A grin is birthed upon my lips. It's almost cute how heavy he's taking the situation. I continue walking, my face only further accentuating my amusement.

I just feel so alive and excited now that I know what I am, what I've become.

Something in me seems to reach into him, pulling the tenseness out his shoulders and stretching his smooth features into a look of enthusiasm. He joins me, walking around an undetermined center, chasing after each other. We are both predators and prey, stalking each other with no intentions of catching up or of being caught.

_There we go!_

A chuckle barely rumbles from his lips, and my ears take it as a blessing.

"Are you prepared for this, little Shiro?" he speaks to me.

"I donno," I shrug, a goofy grin in place.

He seems to struggle with something inwardly, but in the end he simply sighs in content reluctance.

"Well, are you going to pull your weapons or what?" his eyes glances down at my hips where two girth-y daggers rest.

"Gimme a sec," I shush him. "Jinta pointed out to me that our training sessions are boring, and I have to agree, even though he's a jerk. So! Let's make it more fun!" Emerald orbs look to the faux sky above.

"We go for points, three strikes is a point, and for each point, you get to make a request!" I finish.

He raises a thin brow of bleached gold. The smirk upon his lips is unique, and he scratches the stubble of his chin.

"Alright, rules accepted," he dives for me, and my thrilled giggle surprises even me. I dodge his blows, attempting to minimize his score and maximize my own.

He comes, showing his prowess and composure and how little I stack up in comparison. He rushes me despite my speed and calculates probabilities to keep up with my moves and we clash. It takes both my daggers to even think about keeping Benehime at bay, but she's a bad bitch who refuses to recognize a nameless equal.

_STRIKE! STRIKE STRIKE!_

"Well now, it seems like that's my point," he presses into my stance, attempting to crush me below his halted sword.

He's right

Before I know it he's won his first request, but not without me making progress towards my own.

_TING!_

I throw him off, going for his rear but he meets me there."Well, go ahead," I dare him. What will he request first? With his curious tendencies he'll probably ask of my origins, which will allow me to answer in sincere ignorance and cause him to waist a point!

He gives me the goofiest grin, his teeth showing and eyes shimmering with life.

"What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?"

I raise a brow.

Can't say I was expecting that.

"Don't you think that's a bit of a soft ball? I mean you may never get another point..."I taunt, attempting to sway him into his desires, but his grin merely doubles in size.

He lifts an index finger at me, nailing me with his gaze from on top his shoulder, "Nah ah ah. My point, my rules!" his tone bounces.

Darn.

Ah well.

"That is a hard one. It has to be something that was embarrassing in hindsight though," I warn him. When people don't pay attention to anything you do, you don't really know what you're doing is bad. I ponder during my combative choreography. It's funny how after my transformation how natural dancing is during battle.

I was literally born to do it I guess.

Now, as for this question.

What is the most embarrassing thing I've done?

"Ha! My point!" I proclaim when I finally get my last two hits to score me one.

"Yes, but you still have to answer mine," he removes his supportive hand from behind the blade he was forcing on me. _flk!_ he flicks my forehead and the redness of my cheeks burns for my failure to stop such a simple attack.

I take his feet from underneath him.

"When I was old enough and bras started appearing inside my wardrobe I thought they were jackets, so I wore them outside my clothes for months until I saw a new episode of my favorite show explain what it was and how to wear it," I admit. Even now I shake my head at my innocent idiocy.

What was I thinking!?

Grey eyes snap open wide before Urahara falls back from his charge, he palms his forehead at my responds and releases a robust laughter that challenges the booms of thunder.

A grin breaks out on my face.

_I did it! I made someone happy!_

I scrape to a halt, he'd been pushing me back, but he let my momentum carry me when he registered my words.

"That's amazing," he voice calms to his lower octaves.

"My turn!" I get in his face, dagger in mouth and freed hand balled in a prepared fist. He catches my strikes with his palms, and makes sure to keep my legs on the ground where he he can see them.

I snap my head upward, flinging my dagger from jaw. I bring my legs back into the equations, planting them in his chest and separating us.

"You know? Before I didn't really see the dancer in you, but I gotta say, the way you recover from attacks says it all," he notes, muttering beneath his breath, but my feline ears pick it up easily.

I land, tail swinging about my crouched form.

"Hmm.." Emeralds narrow at a certain piece of his outfit, "Take off your hat," I order. His smirk is accompanied by surprised eyes. and he reaches for the green and white article. dusting it off and setting it tidy-like on a nearby rock formation.

"Careful little Shiro, you're starting a dangerous game," he warns, a brow raising suggestively.

I would have rolled my eyes if I were any good at it.

"Shut it. It's just a hat. I just wanted to see what was behind door number one," I grin. I approach him, and he meets the meat of my thigh with his forearm. his almost white blonde locks are freed of their prison, allowing them to sway viciously with every movement he makes.

And those eyes are fully awakened.

We struggle a while longer, and the longer we go, the more we take attention from our strikes and put them into our answers. We devolve into aggressive chatting where the points barely matter but questions and requests are still made.

"Why do you dress in black?" he inquires.

"Cause I look damn good in it," I laugh, "Why are you always in green?"

"Because I look damn good in it,"

"How do you feel about being half demon?" he digs a bit deeper and i raise a white brow.

"Honestly? I was terrified at first, but now if feels like I've got something back that I didn't know I was missing. I feel more alive, more real," I explain truthfully. We clash between our words, but it barely matters now. "What is your biggest regret?" I nearly whisper, uncertain if I am able to even touch this topic.

I expect him to shut down, to cut off all the beautiful colors spewing into the air around, to shun me and my audacity, but he does not. Instead he spews more of his reds into atmosphere around us, and he opens up like a rose way past blooming season; beyond ready and eager to do so.

"Not being able to return the visords back to normal," he speaks openly.

The what?

"If you could, what would you change about yourself?" he lowers his weapon, and my tail flicks uncomfortably side to side.

"I would change the fact that I'm such a shitty person," the words barely press past brown lips.

"Who are the vizards?" I look at him.

...

He allows his sight to stretch far beyond the walls around us.

"A group of soul reapers that were sacrificed for the sake of another's sick curiosity," he shrugs absentmindedly. "They're not dead, but their identities as they know they were taken from them and they were forced out the soul society,"

"They were made into hollowed soul reapers," he adds, almost as if the little tidbit doesn't matter much.

My eyes widen.

Excuse the fuck out of him?

How can he just say that!

"What is your biggest regret, little Shiro?" his sober tone makes it seem as if he plans to place punishment upon me for my unspoken sins.

I feel the memory squirm around in my gut. It makes it way from my stomach's very pit to my lips, but it is sure to make its accent slow and painful.

"Once when I was a hormonal teen confused by everything, well... more confused about everything, I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore... The slippery stares that seemed to be forgetting me even as I stood right in front of them. The parting crowds like I was infectious. The countless days of waking up in the middle of the night crying because my dreams felt like they were taunting me," I grimace. I'm talking too much again.

"I was breaking. I wanted someone to remember me, no matter how or what for. So when some random classmate bumped into me and gave me this dazed blink, I shattered. I broke into a million pieces and... and I hurt him. just kept crying and hitting him and crying and scratching and breaking him the way he did me. It was such a big deal, and I was almost expelled, but the next day it was like it never happened..." I narrow my eyes into the distance.

How many times has the memory pestered me?

I've been trying to forget it just like everyone else had, but I couldn't.

_Drip!_

"Shit!" I cuss, rubbing at my salty eyes. Why am I crying?! I'm not the one who was torn to shreds by some crazy girl..

"Sorry," I mutter, my voice staying stronger than my tear ducts that refused to clog up.

_THT!THT!_

My tail thumps violently against the ground, and if my hands weren't busy I would have grabbed the little fucker and stifled it.

!

I barely feel the warm pressure upon my head.

"..." Urahara says nothing. Not even when I look up to him with glossy greens.

"Sorry. I'm just a terrible person," I reiterate, my tone unhindered by my emotions."I mean like, you're only supposed to cry in public if it's physical pain right?" I laugh a little but the way it dies into sob startles me.

I jerk away from Urahara's comfort. He needs to stop! If he keeps doing that I'll think it's ok. Ok to hurt someone and have the nerve to be hurt. It's never ok to hurt people. no matter the reason! He should know that, and know that what I did was wrong.

So why?

Why is he wrapping his arms around me? Why is he drawing my back into his warmth and pinning my thrashing limb between us, calming it into a stillness. Why is he resting his chin upon my head?

"It's not ok that you hurt someone," his words rumble against me, and I attempt to swallow my anguish, because he's right.

"But it is ok that you regret it so deeply and that you're hurting,"

That's it.

_It's ok_.

I scream to the painted sky, my heart pumping my emotions so freely through my veins and for the first time; I accept them. I accept the hurt, the pain, the regret. the happiness, the sadness, the loneliness and anger.

Why didn't anyone want me?

Why couldn't at least one person want me...?

My screeches dwindle to ragged breaths, and it is then that the tight grip of the ex-shinigami begins to loosen.

"Sorry, Hormonal teen coming through!" I joke, but I'm deeply aware of how terrible it is.

He doesn't say anything, only gives that goofy grin of his like it's the best joke he's heard in a while.

I finally calm myself.

ok. I'm tired of focusing on me, time for someone else to be in the hot spot!

"You know, you look really happy when you're doing soul reaper stuff... Why did you leave the Soul Society?" My eyes find him.

"I didn't leave. I was banished," he speaks, tone aloof.

A frown contorts my features.

"What the? What for?!"I squint suspiciously.

"Framed for what happened to the Vizards," he continues to add information nonchalantly.

"What? That's fucked up! Wait, Does that mean the Lunatic that really did it is still in the Soul Society!?" Worry constricts around my mind.

_Ichigo and the others went off to face a maniac like that?_

I need to hurry up and get there.

"How soon will I be able to get to the soul society?" I perk up.

"Well, because we've trained so much in the past month, this will be our only day training before I work on opening the gate. Luckily I had a feeling you'd awaken soon, so it should be ready tomorrow!" he informs me.

"Are you ok?" I turn my attention back on the blonde, admiring the way his hair disobeys him. It falls into his eyes, mingling with his lashes till he tangles his hands into the mess and pulls the locks to the side of his head.

"Of course I am, little Shiro!" he swings his blood princess to rest delicately upon his shoulders.

"I think you're lying and that you really hurting from being taken away from... yourself, I dunno," I shrug when I can't find the proper wording.

"It was over 100 year ago, I would say I'm just about over it," he sheaths his sword.

"I would say that you're lying and you're really bad at it. Not as bad as Uryu, but bad. At least when it comes to this." I hug him, "Come on! Bring it in buddy!"

I hear a chuckle in the his chest.

"To think an old man like me can still get such beautiful girls to touch him!" he boasts, and the words make me snatch away like he's acid.

I hiss at him, and it feels weird, the part of my throat it comes from, "Way to ruin it!" My ears flatten and my tail flickers about.

Those grey eyes dance about my figure, seeming to note my changes the most.

"Ok... should I pack anything? did Ichigo and them pack anything?" I mutter to myself, but Urahara makes his way back to his hat slapping any dust off it and placing it back where it belongs.

"Nah, you'll be in soul form. Things like dirt, sweat, and stuff don't stick to your soul as persistently as it does in the world of the living,"

It doesn't? I mean... I guess I have noticed that when I do stuff as a soul I seem to stay fresher for longer.

"What about food?" I peer up at him.

"You'll be entering in the Rukon district. It may not be easy to come across food since most there don't need it. But because you'll need to replenish your spiritual pressure, you may need a snack or three," he takes out his fan, sweeping the air around him.

"Oh! I wonder what I should bring..." I ponder a moment later. "Ah.. I'll think about it more later... Oh man, my throat is feelin' it from that screaming..." I attempt to clear it, but it doesn't help much.

I look up to the green clad male.

"You're tall," I murmur, suddenly realizing just how much I have to cran my neck to look at him.

He regains that cheeky grin as he stares back at me and my heart betrays me with its flutter.

_I thought we agreed to drop the feelings!_

"...I'mma go..." I jab my thumbs toward the exit.

Walking backwards, I keep my eyes on the most annoying person in existence right now. I bump into a lot of shit walking this way, but I keep it up until he's out of sight and even then I climb up the latter backwards, jump into my body, and walk out the shop facing behind me.

When I'm at my door, I finally turn around to face it and... is that another seal?

I run my fingers over the paper.

Huh...guess my home is a safe haven once again.

I enter the home and start cleaning up.

It's something about knowing I'm going on a long trip that activates my cleaning craving. I guess I just want to return to a tidy home or something. I'm not sure. Whatever it is, it makes me do the dishes I've been neglecting, mop the floors, vaccum, do laundry. All of it.

"Maybe it's my way of calming my nerves?" I ask the sheets as I tuck them around the mattress.

I'm up cleaning til 11 that night, and once it's all done, I begin cleaning the most important thing: me.

I had already scrubbed the tub clean, so I simply ran deliciously hot water in it. As the tub filled, I dipped into my room to snag my three favorite essential oils because I'm bougie like that. cramping the three little bottles in the space between my forearm and my ribs, I picked them out and add like 3 drops of each.

"First peppermint, then Lavender, and finally Tea tree!" I only took baths like this on occasions, since oils are expensive, and why not spoil my body since I'm leaving it for a while?

Once the room fills with the fresh fragrance and the tub fills with bubbles and water, I shut the faucet off and disrobe. The heat burns in that seductive way, melting my muscle to jelly, and I gladly collapse into the water.

Damn this feels amazing. Every time I do this, I wonder why I don't do it more often. The oil begins to tingle and I feel like the richest lady in existence. This is going to be my last proper cleansing in a while. I doubt there are public showers and baths in the soul society for intruders to use.

Wow... I am not looking forward to potential weeks of wash-ups in whatever water source I can find.

Yeah I'm staying in this farewell bath for at least an hour...

the steam lightens my head bit by bit and my fingers begin to prune, but I'm staying in a while longer.

What pj's should I leave my body in?

Hmmm

I have a lot of comfy sets, but only the comfiest will due.

...

Will I sweat even though I'm not in my body? I don't want to come home to a funky body...

So I know I'll choose a summer set... something that breathes, so no satin.. fleece would be way to hot...

_Oh! What about a simple tank-top and shorts cotton set? The red one with "Throw me a bone" on the top and skeletons on the shorts. That's a good pick. _

Attire decided, I exit my liquid bed and step onto the bathmat while I dry off enough to avoid dripping everywhere. Geez that was amazing, I almost feel too relaxed, like if I had to fight right now my muscles wouldn't be able to tense to their seasoned hardness.

That's a hot bath for ya, the true villain.

Huh... You know, people always speculate that sleeping on a cloud would be like a pile of the softest cotton, but wouldn't it be more accurate for it to be more akin to a bath? Though I suppose it'd be more like a cold one instead of a hot one...

Are there hot clouds?

Before heading to bed I open up my laptop to check on the last video I uploaded to the channel. It's still bringing in some good revenue... that's good. Looking at the comments reveals a lot of excitement for the anniversary piece. Some are worried I'll start uploading a lot less frequently and something bounces around my insides at the fears.

I usually up my frequency during the summer but it seems like that wont be happening this time. The anniversary is in a week and my logical mind doubts I'll make the dead line.

_No Location. No solidified choreography. No partner. No Nothing_

I haven't made an ounce of progress... so I can't even rush it when I get back.

_ . .tap._

My fingers fell like they symbolize my anxiety as they drum away.

I really don't want to let them down...but lives are literally at steak.

I snap the device shut.

"I really don't need this right now," I place it on the bed besides me and curl up beneath the plush black.

"I wish they got service in the Soul society, then I could at least text them.. see how they're doing..."

My eyes peer over the mounds of cover at the black and silver masterpiece Uryu forged for me.

a smile develops.

Tomorrow, I am going to go to the Soul Society, find my friends, kick ass, save Rukia and tell her how fucking lucky she is... to have their love.

How lucky _we_ are.

* * *

**A/n: Thanks for reading**

**Reviews ore appreciated. **

**Sorry about the delay**

**Might upload again tonight **

**Bye**


	12. Joining the Ranks

**Comments will always make me Post XD **

* * *

**Previously:**

My eyes peer over the mounds of cover at the black and silver masterpiece Uryu forged for me.

a smile develops.

Tomorrow, I am going to go to the Soul Society, find my friends, kick ass, save Rukia and tell her how fucking lucky she is... to have their love.

How lucky _we_ are.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X****~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X****~X~X~X~X**

**Chapter 12: Joining the ranks.**

"Are you ready?" Urahara stakes me with those eyes. Gosh, they're so powerful! How did he get such a powerful gaze?

"Yes," I nod, cause I am. I trained enough, not as much as Ichigo and the others did, apparently, but enough.

"Alright, I'm sure you remember my spiel from when Ichigo and the others went through, so I wont repeat it, but there is something I want to warn you about," he states, and I straighten my back under his scrutiny.

What could be so important?

"The power of a Nekomata is based on how poorly its treated, if you meet up with your friends too soon, if might weaken you, even if only a bit. I suggest you steer clear of them as long as you can, preferably until the fighting stops," he forewarns, and I simply nod, because I had assumed such a thing.

. . .

For a moment we're just standing there, my determined gaze staring into his unreadable dark ones, but then he makes his way towards me with three echoing steps.

He closes the small gap between us, and he drops his mighty hand upon my head. The sheer magnitude of the palm makes me feel so small and cute, and suddenly really hot.

Oh dear... could he feel how warm I was? Does he think it's weird? Crap... I'm fidgeting!

. . .

I wonder if he thinks I look adorable in my neko demon form.

I stiffen when I feel his hand stroke my hair back and forth a couple times.

"Good luck," he wishes, nothing special in his tone for me.

Of course there isn't.

He walks over to his place besides the large rocky square, and they, he and Tesa, begin the opening. My chest tightens up a bit at the size of the portal.

Oh man... what if I get lost? If I had gone with the others, at least I would have had company... But it's just me.

No, I'll handle it! I'll be fine.

"Ready!" I tell them, and tense my legs in final preparation.

"Go!"

I spring forward.

I hit the... ground? running. I'm in some weird melting cooridor, and it kind of gives me the goose bumps, but I focus in.

Even with my speed, I'm still running through this place for a while.

**. . .**

It's easy for the mind to wander when you're mindlessly moving.

... Wander back to a few minutes ago when a certain smug hatter rubbed my head.

"Ah! I can't believe he did that!" I cup my cheeks in my hands. Ugh, I'm so easlier flustered! It was probably nothing!

_"It was just for luck."_ I tell myself just as the tunnel's end is revealed to me.

Sweet. I front flip through it because I want to look bad ass, but when I land, there's no one there to see me do it.

Disappointing.

Oh well.

During the short fall I had, I saw that this place is laid out oddly, split into four with a center.

...

Well if _I_ was in charge, I'd have the fighters on the outside, after all, they are the defense, but this place doesn't look so combatic.

At all.

So I'm going to assume these people are dicks, and decided having the fighters around the vital information was more important than the lives of citizens.

But... really?

While I get that information can lead to the destruction of more people than those that would be saved if prioritized, the structure is still stupid. Sure you can deploy the help when needed, but that wastes time and causes panic. And to top it all off, as soon as you encounter the enemy, you're already at the final frontier! There's no room for strategic retreat or anything!

You're kind of fucked if you fail.

I think it would be smarter to have layers of fighters throughout the area. Then it would be, fighters, people, fighters, people, fighters people and information.

Anyway, enough talking about shit that doesn't matter.

I take a moment to stretch out my legs. It's going to take me a while to reach the center and I'd hate for my sprinters to cramp or lock up.

"Ok, a couple more waist twists and I'm-" I hault as a wrapped box falls out of my obi.

"When the hell did that get there?" I ask the air, wondering if it had seen the culprit.

"Am I really that unobservant? That's such a problem!" I run my hands over my ears and head.

...

The same way Kisuke did.

"Damn it! Why can't I keep focus!"

Shaking my head, I pick up the box and unwrap it. It's a bento box, but I had already suspected that. On top there's a note:

"Food...Kisuke," I mumble, my face curling up at the lack of effort he put into these words.

"T...thanks I guess?" I don't know why I'm saying all of this outloud... There's no one near by.

I suppose I should eat a bit of something...

I open it up to see its full of rice balls and sushi.

...

"Did he put sushi in here cause I'm a cat? I am offended!" I huff, pulling one of them out to eat. "But I do love sushi, so I'll shut up,"

Ok, now I'm ready.

...

"Should I really run? I mean, with my speed, I might just call a lot of attention to myself," I furrow my brows. I'm sure it's fine, but I worry. Then again, the smug hatter did said say my biology is composed just so where I remain just under everyone's rador.

Like I don't exist.

It should be fine.

Kicking up dust, I fling myself into a dash, closing up the bento and tucking it safely into my obi.

only it wont stay there.

_TINK! Tink!tink._

Damn it. I skid to a halt and back track to get the little fucker. Ok. Now!

_TINK! Tink!tink._

Fuck.

_TINK! Tink!tink._

Shit.

_TINK! Tink!tink._

Really?

_TINK! Tink!tink._

How did Kisuke get it to stay! And do so without drawing my attention!?

You know what?

I untie the box's cloth and retie it onto the obijime. Hopefully this will work...

I reclaim my speed, and am pleased when the little metal box finally stays in place.

Finally.

**~x~**

Whoo! I'm out of breath. I think I'll walk for a bit.

I'm about halfway there, but it's really hard to manuever these streets at such a high pace. For one thing, I don't know this place, so every turn is abrupt and barely executed. I tried taking to the roofs, but not knowing their layout leads to clumsy leaps, and oh, fun fact. I didn't get the cat ability to always land on my feet.

Stupid right?

I've got the eyes, the ears, the speed, and the tail, but not that one.

Another problem when running through here is that I keep getting distracted by the smells. Really distracted.

...

...

I may have run into a couple walls.

Anyway! After all of that! I am huffy and puffy, and now I want a break...

I sit on my tush in a cozy little corner I find. It's clean, I've checked! And I look around.

I wonder if Ichigo and the guys came through here... Did they make it past? If so, how did they get through?

Did they rush through the area, not giving a single fuck about those they passed? Did they lock themselves in that glass barrier I've been trying to enter? Or maybe they hurt people to get what they wanted.

Of course they didn't.

Knowing them, their wacky combination probably got them all sorts of attention. Maybe Ichigo shot off in a firey rage at something Yoruichi said. Then Oreo laughed her tingly little bell laugh while the ever so rational Udyu tried to defuse the situation with logic.

With no luck.

I-go-chi doesn't listen to reason. If he did, he wouldn't be so cool. And, of course, Sado would just stand there in all his calm quiet.

Maybe he'd grunt a few words.

They probably made friends along the way.

I smile at the thought of them and their company.

"Hey lady, why do you have cat ears?"

I perk at the voice, it's small but masculine. I lift my head to see two boys standing before me. They're twins, one has red hair and is frowning curiously at me head, why the other has blue hair and is tucked behind his brother.

"Becuase I do," I respond. I mean, kids are accepting and all, but saying 'I'm a demon' to a couple souls sounds like a bad idea.

"You're weird lady, you're making my brother uncomfortable, go away," Red barks at me.

Ok, first of all, ow. That legitimately hurt my feels. Children tell the truth, and he just told me that no one wants me here. Second of all, why did he think this was a good idea? Just walking up to a stranger and telling them off? I mean, I suppose I don't look like I'm armed, but I could still beat the shit out both of them. And where is their mother?

"I make everyone uncomfortable, I'll move when I feel like it," I bit down on the 'you little shit' that wants to follow the statement, and tuck my head back into my fortress of curled up arms and legs. There's this weird twisting in my side. I can tell I'm being more of a prick than I need to be. I could just vacate the area, but something tells me doing so will just fuel the cycle. I don't want to do that.

So I stay put like I said I would.

Man, is it me, or am I more angry in Nekomata form?

I just feel like when I'm in... human form? Can you call it that? I'm going to call it that. I feel like when I'm in human form that I'm so tolerant and just happy to be included, but as a cat demon, I just feel like there's this caldron in my soul that stays just below boiling, maybe a degree or two before, but when the temperature is raised ever so slightly, the contents bubble over, each pop flecking bad tithing and violance on those responsible.

I need to keep that shit in check.

. . .

Did that little turd just hit me with a rock?

Peering up, I see the red head with a gang of pebbles cuffed in one arm, while the other is flinging the earthy bullets right at me. Besides him, Blue seems to be attempting to dissuade the attack, to no avail.

"Get out of here!" Red luggs more rocks at me.

_POP!_

"We don't want to be uncomfy!"

_POP! POP!_

I take a deep breath, trying not to lose myself in my unnecessary rage. Why couldn't they just fuck off and go home? I'm not doing anything wrong! I never do anything wrong, but somehow, it's still _my _fault**.** But at the same time, they don't blame me. It's a weird paradox...

_POP! POP! POP!_

_**FwooSH!**_

I rise to my feet, feeling a weird, external warmth around my ankles.

"Child, do you hate me?" I look down at him, and **only **him. Blue has moved to shield his foolish other half from my gaze with out spread arms and a determined look in his eyes, but I don't care.

"...no..." Red answers, and the response raises my brows curiously.

"I see. Do you love me?"

"...no..."

"Then you do not care about me. Why would you bother something you don't care about? Leave me be," I fall back into myself, still leaving my feline green eyes on them to discontinue any other ideas of attacking me.

Why are people so annoying?

The blue boy is frowning at me as he takes up his brother's shoulders to guide him away. Though Red doesn't want to leave. He's pauses in time with a gawking expression that wont budge, just like him.

"That was awesome!"

I flinch as Red springs to life and full on glomps me.

...Wha?

"You were so cool! With your eyes all glowy and the fire around your feet! Oh my gosh! You gotta show me how to do that!"

...Children are weird.

"I...can't," I admit, because it's true, those things are just me. I can't share them, even if I wanted to.

"Aw man... Then at least do it again! Come on!" Red begs, but I deny him.

"No..." I frown. It was nice they weren't throwing rocks and all, but I kind of still want them to fuck off...

"Turns out you're pretty neat! And my brother isn't scared of you anymore! You should totally come have dinner at our place!" red bounces around excitedly.

Excuse me?

"Thank you, but I'm alright..." I decline their offer; I know if I were their parent and they came home with a very strange looking individual; I'd probably kicked their asses- the stranger and the children.

"Oh. Really?" Red's expression deflates to a more indifferent one. "Ok, alright," and he takes his brother and leaves.

Just like that...

No attempt to change my mind or anything. They just left.

...

I guess it was a bit rude to just turn them down like that... Plus it wouldn't be _so _bad to eat something, right?

...

I pick myself off the ground and follow after the children. Red imediately beems at my presence while Blue still doesn't seem to like me much.

"Wow! You decided to come?!" Red boasts and I scoff at his over enthusiam.

"Of course not." I turn my nose up at the very idea, peeking down to see him deflate a bit, "But I figured you two might need help staying out of trouble, I mean seriously who attacks random strangers?" I mumble the last bit.

"Thanks miss, you're pretty cool," Red folds his arms behind his head and continues forward.

"You too little Red,"

**~X~**

"We're Home!" Red calls into the abode, and I have to duck under jagged wood to get inside.

"Welcome Darlings!" A melodic voice swims through the air and brings with it the smell of a home cooked dish.

"Ma! Ma! We guided another soul today!" Red and Blue run to the emerging figure. She has the face as beautiful as her voice and a body with curves that can't be rivaled.

"Oh! And who did you guide today my little soul-reapers-in-training?" she ruffles the flatness of their hair before peering up at me. She musters a smile, "Oh! You're different aren't you?" she straightens her posture. I widen my eyes. On the way here, I was sure to loot a hat to cover my furry ears and to wrap my tail around my hips under my Kimono, so she can't be talking about that...

"You feel different, I mean," she pushes black strands from her face,

"Ma! Ma! You shoulda seen it! She used these cool green flames! and her eyes were like glowy and stuff!" Red boasts.

Something glimmers in her eyes as she registrars the child's words. Humming, she glances down at them."Hey babies! Do you think you can handle cleaning yourselves up for the dinner?" she requests, and the little tikes eagerly accept the challenge, rushing off deeper into the home.

"What are you?" she inquires, her face still as brightly lit as before, "I used to be a soul reaper, so I know you're not one of those, your spiritual pressure is different, and your spirit ribbon is... off color," she cuts off any possible lies that I could think of.

Aw fuck it.

I take off my skull cap while unwraveling my furry limb from around me. Her blue eyes displays her astonishment.

"A nekomata... can't say I'm thrilled about that.. What are you doing here?"

I raised a brow, "Whoa whoa whoa... I just came into your house and told you I'm half cat demon and you don't immediately attack?" I place my hands on my hips, swaying the shit out of them, "It sounds to me like you don't want to cause a scene. Which means you're hiding in plain sight," I throw my theories at her.

Her smile drops, and she mimicks my sass.

"Listen, I have it good here, good kids who want to be soul reapers, no one is bothering me. Is there anyway I can get you get out of here before dinner?" she waves her hand dismissively as if I didn't just figure her out.

"Depends, you got a way into the middle of this place?" I raises a white brow.

An eye roll. "The Seireitei? Depends, you strong enough to lift that gate up there?" She tosses the idea to me, and I frown.

"What gate?"

"There's this Huge gate thing that drops around the boarder that makes a protective barrier around the entire thing." she briefly explains. "I was joking anyway, you're a Cat based demon, strength isn't usally you guys' strong suit," she shrugs.

"So any other ideas?"

. . .

She ponders.

"Jidambo was defeated by the orange haired rouge soul reaper a couple of days ago... and I think they broke through in some other weird way? At least I'm pretty sure that was that jerk's pyro technics at work..." she frowns deeply at the thought of someone I don't know or care about.

"I can't believe that Shiba clan princess. I showed her my designs when I was younger and she just HAD to replicate it!" she stomps once, and it is the weirdest thing to see her turn from caring mother to spoiled child. "My version is far more subtle and superior!" she gives the most maniacal laugh. She disappears for a bit before reappearing with a glass orb.

"Here you go, just channel your spiritual pressure into that, and hop up there, your spirit energy will merge with the barrier and you should be able to walk right in!" she beams.

"Awesome! How do I do the spiritual thingy?" I look at her.

"...You're joking," she stares at my unwavering countenance to verify my seriousness. "Uh.. You just, push your power into it!" she beams nervously, still uncertain if my ignorance is feigned.

"...How?" I observe the object.

"Ugggh.. it's a stupid trick, but image a black hole and jump into it," she crosses her arms.

"Um.. Ok...?" Brown eyelids close. Jumping into the dark cirlce in my mind, I feel heat be birthed from my bowls before conquering my entire it spreads out, covering everything around me.

"Hey! You're going to burn my fucking house down! Stop!"

My eyes fling open and I'm greeted with the green flames encasing my very being.

"Focus it into the ball damnit!"

Oh shit!

I beckon all the fire to the orb and it devours it, spouting out a sphere of green to protect my person.

"There you go!" she beams, "Now go!"

Something pangs in my gut.

"Sorry, I promised the red one I'd stay longer," I shrug.

An exaggerated sigh leaves her lips, "First of all, the red one is named Akai and the blue one is Ai; Second, You're a demon, especially a cat demon, you're suppose to be heartless! Who cares if a child asked you to stay" she throws her arms about in inexplicable confusion.

"...I'm... sorry?" my ears flop about while I tilt my head.

Composing herself into a woman, she matches her blues with my greens, "Alright, Dinner wont be ready for another five minutes," she smiles, pulling herself back into that well crafted mother persona.

The kids must be near...

As if on a cue, the little bundles come speeding around the legs of the Shiba-hater and they hold tiny wooden swords in their hands.

"Are we gonna get to practice with our zampakto, Ma?" Akai takes hold of her apron and she gives the sweetest smile in her repatoir.

"Not tonight my ruby, tomorrow morning for sure." She coos. She takes up their hands to guide them to the kitchen, but Red pulls free, running over to me and throwing those tiny little arms around my own.

Adoration thumps in my chest, and the need to protect has never branded itself on me like this before.

I can't let anything happen to this child.

but I don't let my face tell him that.

...

I still lift him into my arms though...

Red chuckles as he adjusts himself to sit on my forearm and flexes his biceps, "Look at my muscles! I'm going to be a super strong soul reaper!" he roars.

Ok I'd be lying if I said I'm not fighting off a smile.

"Your muscles are big, but you gotta work on your game face and your battle cry," I tell him.

"Yeah! You're right!" he scruches up the tiny features of his face, "You better watch out! Rawr!"

Oh my heart!

"There you go," I grin lazily and he beams at the praise.

"Come on do it with me!" he roars again and my eyes can't help but pronounce my glee.

"roar," I make a claw with my free hand.

"Louder! Rawr!"

"Roar.."

"Louder! RAWR!" he throws his head back, and I shake my own at the silliness I'm about to do. I take a deep breath and reach deep into my throat!

_**ROAR!**_

. . .

Holy shit I can actually roar like a tiger...

"Why can I do that?" I whisper to myself, but Akai hears me easily.

"Because you're awesome!" He tries to shake me but ends up shaking himself.

"How little do you know of your origins...?" The mother raises a perfect black brow.

"Absolutely nothing... I just know what I am," I shrug.

"Oh dear..." she breaths.

Sitting little red in a chair, I take one for myself and wait patiently for a serving.

They're a family of three but have a fourth chair that matches the rest... The kids must bring home guest quite often...

Isn't that a little dangerous?

I look to the women across the plain wood table.

My guess is that she's pretty strong and keeps tabs on the little one's spiritual pressure when they're out...

"So... Is the kitty or the human round?" The hostess speaks up.

...What?

kitty or the... Is this her way of speaking in code around the kids? Is she asking me about my parents?

"No. Never seen either, honestly," I shrug.

"I didn't think so..."

what is happening?

She doesn't ask me anymore questions over dinner, and afterwards I help carry the small ones to their room.

Freezing in the doorway, I feel disgusting and gross. I feel like I don't have a right to take a step past the threshold.

"That's the barrier I put on their room, I'll take it from here," the mother hums, taking her child from me to put red and blue into bed and leaving me to stand awkwardly in the door.

"Ma... Ai wants a story," Akai speaks for his blue brother, and the woman seems to have a moment of panic.

"Sure sweety!" blue eyes dart about the area while she tucks her dress close to her legs. She sits on a posted chair and barely catches me in her sight.

"Ok! This is the story about the lepards!" she starts. My shoudlers tense and my tail bristles, thrashing a bit wildly around me in discomfort.

Why did she look at me?

"Once upon a time there were lepards that dressed like white bunnies so that they could live among them! They were nasty things that used to make white bunnies be mean so that they would be bannished from the group" she tucks them in, and Akai yawns, fighting his eyelids to keep those ruby red pupils free.

"This is the story about a hard decision." She starts, her smooth lips conjuring the story as she goes, "Once there were leopards and Bunnies. There were Black bunnies that protecting everything thing, and white bunnies which could be good or bad. The leopards lived in the under Burrows, and they wanted the bunnies to join them, but only bad bunnies go to the under burrows."

The boys were already asleep, but she kept talking, and I kept listening.

"So the Leopards started making the white bunnies do mean things so they'd get banished to the burrows. The black bunnies noticed this and realized there would soon be more more bad bunnies than good, so the black bunnies made a decision, a really hard one, and scared the leopards away. The leopards were never seen again."

"The end" she plants a kiss on their bangs.

The woman stands to her feet, and makes her way to me.

"Was that the story of what happened to the demons?" I ask her as she passes by like a breeze. I feel a rage ignite in me, but I quiet it. Smother it. "Did the Soul Reapers kill them all?" I hush myself, inhabiting the woman's shadow as she retreats.

"No!" She hisses, stopping short and glaring at me. "The soul reapers are not what killed the demons." she rushes forward, rounding a corner.

"But that doesn't mean they weren't planning to," her words lag behind her.

I frown. Why does that matter? I catch up on quieted steps, the flicker of my kimono the only audio cue of my movement. Behind me a forked line of white fur sways over the air like a water serpent, and I wonder; there has to be a reason she mentioned it...

"Then why tell the story like they did," I whisper, and the silence makes me wonder if she heard me from so far ahead, but as I emerge into the living-room, I'm awarded an answer.

"Sure, the shinigami didn't _get_ to kill the demons, but we spent years researching each breed carefully, finding their weaknesses so that the genocide would be executed smoothly. I would know. I spend all my life researching demons..." she devolves to slurred mutters, but adjusting my ears articulates every syllable.

"Demons were going to destroy everything and had to be dealt with, but they didn't deserve to go out like that," the tired mother plops on the couch, allowing the weight of her day to crash upon her. A regretful atmosphere spills around her.

"Their deaths weren't meant to be enjoyed," she finally adds, returning to the conversation outside herself.

"I get that their deaths were unavoidable..." I trail off, more confused than I had been in a while. I had suspected after hearing Uryu's story that such a fate was not beyond my kind, but apparently not...?"You're talking like I know everything, tell me something!" I grow closer to her.

"I was one of the researchers tasked with finding out everything I could about the demons." she speaks into the distance. She blinks out of her trance. "So at the very least I can help you understand your demon side a bit better," she smiles at me but it's not like her mom smile, nor her mischievous one. Instead it's apologetic, rueful. Exhausted.

She clears something from her eyes.

"Hey... uh.." I search for a name, but one does not appear in my memory.

"Kira. Kira Shiba," she stretches her body.

Shiba? But wasn't she just ranting about their princess?

...Maybe she's an out cast?

"Ms. Kira, maybe you should go to sleep... you have children who will be up bright and early..." I trail off. Kira shakes her head, awakening the motherly love in her features as she hops to her feet.

"For instance, do you know how to sense spiritual pressure?" she whispers, guiding me outside.

"No..."

"Well, the cool thing is that Nekomata don't 'sense' it. They actually hear it! It's how you know how to dance to raise your enemy's allies," Her chirpy voice nips any argument from my throat. She's going to teach me whether I want her to or not.

Though her words do fetch my intrigue and brighten my green orbs. So my dance is unique to each person? I would have thought it to be the same...

"Close your eyes..." she instructs, and I do, sealing off the darkened lot of overgrown grass and embracing darkness.

. . .

. .

.

. . . _!_

My posture stiffens and Kira notices. "You heard it! In the distance." her hands fall on my shoulders like a security blanket. "Don't lock up, you have to relax into it.." she directs, and it's hard, but I manage. The notes rush in, almost ecstatic at their acceptance and they fill me. The measures replace my breath, pushing any air out in a content sigh, and the octaves mingle with my blood and excite my pulse.

"Wait! You have to stop! I know it's natural to move with it but please," a desperation is birthed in the voice of the Shiba reject. "I can't face him... please stop..." her fingers almost dig holes in the black material of my gown.

I slap my hands down to my side. I hadn't even realized I started moving...

"Whoops.." I shrug. _SPLSHK! _I jerk at the sound. Something tickles the tip of my nose and I rub at it. Behind me Kira allows a sigh to shake itself loose. What happened? Did something start to form?

"But you heard it right?" her voice is quaking, and I can't help feeling responsible.

"I don't want to keep this up if it's affecting you-" "Just let me help! Tomorrow you're going to go out to fight for something precious to you! You're going to hurt, and you may even lose. But I want to help you fight as hard as you can. I want to give you a chance," the last word snuffs out all sound in the air, creating that moment of loud silence in my furry ears.

"Fine..."

"Don't act like you had a choice, now, from what I understand, each person has a unique song playing in their energy that can vary in tempo, genre, age, and really anything else," she notes.

"But you'll figure that out as you go! Though, if you could try to describe my song for me I will love you forever because I have always wanted to know!" She bounces in place, containing herself as much as she can.

A grin stretches on my lips and I take a moment to focus in on her.

"Uh... It's a pretty fast pace. It's a more traditional and while it has a few different instruments, there's a string instrument that's the main focus," I attempt. The focal instrument is definitely Japanese in origin. The tones it makes are a bit on the higher scale with rounded notes that make me think of the American banjo.

"Oh that's cool! Clearly the speed is a metaphor for my amazing and bubbly personality!" she beams brighter than the crescent moon above us.

"Right," I shrug.

"Ok next! I want to focus on your flames, _without_ your weapons. You need to know how to use them," she gestures to the empty lot. "Your flames will burn the grass, but they don't really linger after they've been cut off from you. Though I have seen Nekomata able to sustain flames outside themselves in moments of extreme anger." a drop of the shoulders.

After mild directions I take my stance before my enemy: grass. I pick up my dukes.

"No no, As a cat demon you're super strong, but it's mostly in your legs, so it's best to use them as your hands," she points.

Fight with my feet...?

I mean.. ok I guess..

I shift my weight to rise a knee to my chest and it's odd how comfortable it is, it kind of feels like I've been walking around with my shoes on the wrong feet this entire time, but now they're in the right place.

"This is weird..." I mumble. "Why is that what was instinct before powers has changed? How can instinct change? It's supposed to be implanted in you from the get-go,"

"Well? Go on!" Kira coaxes."You should already know where your spiritual core is! So just direct your spiritual pressure from the center to your desired limp! Chop chop!" she rushes me, way more eager than I am.

I frown. There's a core? I would have though that the power would be around my body all the time...

"Where would my core be?" I ask the night breeze and it responds by tickling over my stomach.

My gut.

"Alright.."

**fwoosh! Fwoosh Fwoosh!**_**FwoOOSH!**_

It starts as simple kicks, but they evolve themselves flinging my body into spins and flips that my mind has to slow down to keep me oriented.

"Holy shit... I'm awesome," my lips gain the sassiest perk.

Kira claps, only further fueling the ego of my demon side. Even my tail curls and uncurls around my legs in a display of dominance.

"Ok, that's all we'll be able to get into tonight, you'll have to leave early-ish tomorrow because the boys want to practice their zanpakto tomorrow morning, and we have to travel pretty far, They're too young, and if one big mouth spills that they can already unleash their weapons, they'll not only be taken from me, but I may be killed as well... so yeah," her blue eyes glimmer.

"neat..."

I lead the charge for the beds.

"Also, does the blue one not talk to me because he doesn't like me or is mute his default setting?" I inquire.

"Ai speaks, but very rarely. He probably averages 3 words a year. but Akai seems to know what he wants even when he says nothing.. so yeah," The Shiba pulls some blankets and a pillow from a crevice and plops them on the couch.

A yawn slurs her words, "Good night,"

I wave.

Tomorrow I enter the war.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Stay safe :D**


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